If gifted Long Island psychic Mary Occhino had done some stargazing instead of gazing at stardom, she would have known that putting her fate in the hands of Syfy for her new show “Mary Knows Best” would not have been in her best interest — or her family’s.
In fact, in this case, Mary knows worst.
The problem is that Syfy is treating Mary and her family the same way every other reality show treats Italian-Americans — like hot-headed buffoons half the time and adorable primitives the rest.
And that condescending stereotype is so blatant that the producers even add clownish music and “boing!” sounds every time a member of Mary’s family says something dopey.
The premise — which could have been a good one — is a look at the life of a psychic in her off-hours. Instead, the producers are more interested in showing Mary and her family saying things like, “Kiss my ass!” “You been bustin’ my bawls!” “Stir the sawce,” “I’m not gettin’ prashoot [prosciutto].” Boing! Boing! Boing!
Syfy calls them “a colorful Long Island Italian-American family.” If you can’t read that code then you need a psychic yourself.
In the first five minutes, we meet Mary, a well-known and respected psychic (and Sirius radio show host) and her family, which includes her grown daughter, Jacqueline, and two grown sons, Carl and Chris.
On her radio show, Mary tells listeners, “Listen to your kids — they know from an early age” where their interests lie. But Mary, we quickly learn, is desperate to marry Jacqueline off whether Jacqueline is interested in marriage or not. So, Mary turns a deaf ear to Jacqueline’s fervent pleas for her mother to stop trying to fix her up.
Good luck. Mary embarrasses Jacqueline in a dry cleaning shop where they meet a handsome man. Worse, she even announces on the radio that she’s looking for a man for her daughter.
Don’t get me wrong. The show isn’t all bad, and, in fact, it even grows wings and flies when Mary is allowed to actually do what it is that made her famous: psychic work.
But unfortunately, “Mary Knows Best” can’t decide if it’s a reality show about a Long Island family that is ripe for ridicule, or a show about a woman who was born with a gift that is no laughing matter.
Not only didn’t Mary know best; neither does Syfy.