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Ex-Coast Guard officer allegedly posed as former military lawyer

This guy deserves a medal — for chutzpah.

An ex-petty officer in the Coast Guard pawned himself off as a former military lawyer and nearly fooled a Long Island judge — until he started rambling like Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny,’’ sources said Wednesday.

“His awareness of courtroom decorum was lacking’’ to say the least, a Hempstead court source told The Post.

Kenneth Goldstein, 51, of Queens would allegedly arrive in court in a business suit with his chest covered in medals, including a fake cluster of oak leaves suggesting he was a retired lieutenant commander.

“Everyone thought it was a little odd,’’ the source admitted.

“His awareness of courtroom decorum was lacking… everyone thought it was a little odd.”


Having trolled the Internet for clients, usually veterans, Goldstein told them and at least two other judges enough convincing lies to fill a Coast Guard cutter, officials said.

He said he was a combat veteran and that he’d been injured in the Gulf War.

He also allegedly said he was a former member of the military’s prestigious Judge Advocate General Corps, making him licensed to practice law in the state of New York.

He repped clients in The Bronx and upstate Monticello, but it wasn’t until Goldstein got to the Hempstead judge that he was busted for being AWOL from reality, officials said.

It was probably only fitting that the former petty officer’s downfall involved the pettiest of cases: a Queens man ticketed for catching too big a fish.

Hempstead officials suspected something was wrong when Goldstein showed up in court wearing the medals and jabbering like a goofy Hollywood character, sources said.

The Nassau County DA’s Office launched an investigation, a mistrial was declared, and Goldstein was arrested Wednesday.

He was busted at a veterans hospital in The Bronx, where he claimed to be a volunteer.

Coast Guard vet Kenneth Goldstein (left) with ex-Police Commissioner Ray Kelly.Facebook
Goldstein was scheduled to be arraigned in the same Hempstead court where he tried to pull off his Perry Mason routine, but was taken to a local hospital after complaining about post-traumatic stress disorder.

On his way to the hospital, Goldstein said he was being targeted because prosecutors didn’t have a good case against his “client’’ on the fish rap.

“To try to take an honorable man down is ridiculous,” Goldstein said, referring to himself.

In addition to his jaunt in Hempstead court, Goldstein also misrepresented a veteran in a Bronx Family Court case and was held in contempt in Monticello after lunging at a judge who accused him of being a fraud, sources said.

On Goldstein’s LinkedIn page, he says, “I am donating my legal experience to help veterans in all fields to reintegrate them back into society and help them with their issues.”

His Facebook page shows him at various veterans events with all kinds of medals he didn’t earn, sources said. He also was honored with other vets at Yankee Stadium and had his picture taken with former Police Commissioner Ray Kelly.