It’s that rare TV season where the biggest buzz could be generated by a Muppet. ABC’s revamp of the Muppets’ famed syndicated variety show may seem inspired in a landscape where yesteryear stars — John Stamos, Rob Lowe and Don Johnson — are seeking to jump-start their careers again, and the era of the spinoff (“Chicago Med” and “Heroes Reborn”) won’t end, no matter how many times we bellow against it. There are some bright spots, though, and inspired casting, so don’t give up hope just yet. You have to watch something before “Game of Thrones” comes back, right?
Aging heartthrob showdown
How to tell Rob Lowe and John Stamos apart
We don’t blame you if you’re already getting these two stars confused. They both have piercing blue eyes; they’re both in their early 50s. They also both came to prominence more than 30 years ago: Stamos on the soap “General Hospital” and the long-running sitcom “Full House,” and Lowe in the films “The Outsiders” and “St. Elmo’s Fire.” And now they’re each in new series, debuting back-to-back on the same night on Fox.
How to tell them apart then? Easy: Lowe is on the better show. “The Grinder” is a hilarious comedy about an actor who played an attorney on television. When his show is canceled, he wants to continue playing that role in the family law firm, where he is convinced he can make a contribution despite his complete lack of credentials.
Stamos stars on “Grandfathered,” a mostly tired sitcom about Jimmy Martino, a restaurateur and aging bachelor who meets Gerald, the grown son (Josh Peck) he never knew he had, in the first episode. While the shock registers, Gerald introduces Jimmy to his infant granddaughter, Edie (played by twins Layla and Emelia Golfieri). Jimmy is a variation of the role Stamos played on “Full House,” the child-rearing Jesse Katsopolis, and you can see the setups coming a mile away. Jimmy has to baby-sit: uh-oh. What will he do when he has to change the kid’s diaper? And so forth.
In the battle of the ex-teen heartthrobs, Lowe has the creative edge.
“Grandfathered” premiere: Sept. 29, 8 p.m., Fox
“The Grinder” premiere: Sept. 29, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Hot Muppet
Denise, Kermit’s new girlfriend
The nerve — moving in on Miss Piggy! The party line on this ménage à pork is that Kermit and Miss P. parted ways after 40 years together, but it sounds like standard Hollywood hoo-ha.
How do you make any aging male performer look virile and attractive? You cast him opposite an absurdly younger female co-star. Enter Denise.
Does Kermit feel even a fraction of the devotion he felt towards Miss Piggy? In a pig’s eye, we say. We can’t wait to see Denise when “The Muppets” debuts. She has to live up to some serious expectations.
Premiere: Sept. 22, 8 p.m., ABC
Shows that will never make you laugh
“The Real O’Neals” and “Truth Be Told”
TV executives are having a harder time than ever figuring out what will make an audience chuckle these days. One only has to look at the list of comedies that bit the dust last year (like “Selfie,” “Marry Me” and “A to Z”) to realize that humor is a tough sell. So how did shows as dated as “Truth Be Told” and as offensive as “The Real O’Neals” make it past the execs and onto the schedule? “Truth” is an old-fashioned comedy about two couples who are friends. The guys (Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tone Bell) try to figure out what their wives (Vanessa Lachey and Bresha Webb) are up to and vice versa. Doesn’t this sound like Fred and Ricky from “I Love Lucy”?
The characters on “The Real O’Neals” are introduced as “your typical Irish Catholic family.” Right there, you know you’re in trouble, as there is no such thing, but let’s see what generalizations the writers have to offer. So, Jesus Christ himself shows up in a scene when the family is out to dinner. Not too offensive, but wait. Mrs. O’Neal (Martha Plimpton) puts a statue of the Virgin Mary over the toilet to make sure the men in the family put the seat down. OK, really offensive. There isn’t a stereotype the writers don’t milk, from bingo games in the church auditorium to the campaign to send the eldest son to Notre Dame. The best thing to hope for is divine intervention to keep this one from airing.
“Truth Be Told” premiere: Oct. 16, 8:30 p.m, NBC
“The Real O’Neals” premieres midseason (date not yet announced), ABC
Best upgrade
Marcia Gay Harden, “Code Black”
When CBS was casting “Code Black,” the new ensemble medical drama that looks and sounds a lot like “ER,” the lead role originally went to 31-year-old Maggie Grace (“Lost”), but at the last minute the show gave it to Marcia Gay Harden, 56, who was slated for a co-starring part. This inspired bit of recasting goes against the Hollywood grain, which says if you put a babe under 35 in the lead, they will come. Cheers to CBS for recognizing that Harden, who already has a freaking Oscar (a Best Supporting Actress for “Pollock”), shouldn’t play second fiddle to anyone. She’ll star as Dr. Leane Rorish, residency director of an insanely busy American hospital. Harden’s elevation is consistent with the network’s longtime commitment to great roles for seasoned actresses, from Jean Stapleton on “All in the Family” to Mary Tyler Moore, Angela Lansbury on “Murder, She Wrote,” Candice Bergen on “Murphy Brown” and Julianna Margulies on “The Good Wife.” Age, as they say, is just a number. In the end, talent wins.
Premiere: Sept. 30, 10 p.m., CBS
Breakout star
Jaimie Alexander, “Blindspot”
When we meet Jaimie Alexander in the opening scenes of NBC’s new conspiracy drama “Blindspot,” she emerges, naked, from an abandoned duffel bag in the middle of Times Square.
Who is this illustrated woman? She doesn’t know her own name, how she got to Manhattan, or how she became covered in an amazing array of black tattoos, all of which hold clues to the crimes that unfold on the show.
Alexander, a South Carolina native and former high school wrestler, cuts a mysterious and sensuous figure as the femme fatale who knows too much. We can’t wait to find out how much.
Premiere: Sept. 21, 10 p.m., NBC
Best cast
“Scream Queens”
Ryan Murphy convinced Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett to take a very long walk on the Gothic wild side for several seasons of “American Horror Story,” and in the process revived their careers. Now he has trained his campy eye on a younger generation of gamines for “Scream Queens,” a smart sendup of sororities. The new Fox comedy-drama features a starry cast of young women. In the lead, “AHS” alumnus Emma Roberts plays Chanel Oberlin, the incredibly condescending president of Kappa Kappa Tau, the mean-girls club. As her minions, referred to as “the Chanels,” Murphy has rounded up Oscar nominee Abigail Breslin, Lea Michele of “Glee” and scene-stealer Skyler Samuels, another “AHS” veteran. Presiding over them all with regal disdain is none other than Jamie Lee Curtis as the college dean Cathy Munsch, who is determined to end the sorority’s days — and vicious nights.
Premiere: Sept. 22, 8 p.m., Fox
Most anticipated comeback
Tracy Morgan on “Saturday Night Live”
After suffering serious injuries in a car accident last year, Tracy Morgan was unable to work. He even missed the 40th anniversary special of “Saturday Night Live” in February, so it came as a huge and happy surprise that Morgan was announced as one of the first “SNL” hosts this fall. He will star on the program Oct. 17, three weeks into the 41st season. Expect character cameos from fan favorites such as Brian Fellow; high ratings; and an outpouring of audience affection.
“Saturday Night Live,” Oct. 17, 11:30 p.m., NBC
Most surprising comebacks
The “Gossip Girl” guys
The “Gossip Girl” cast has scattered to the showbiz winds since the show ended in 2012. Fortune smiled first on Blake Lively, who has a nice little career in movies. Leighton Meester had a featured role in the recent Broadway production of “Of Mice and Men.” But the boys of “Girl” had to wait a few years for their manly genes to kick in before finding the appropriate showcases for their talents. This fall, Chace Crawford, who was the cheeky Nate Archibald on the prep-school soap, returns to TV on the ABC Sunday night series “Blood & Oil.” Crawford plays Billy LeFever, a young man who moves with his wife to Willison, N.D., in search of his fortune after the biggest oil discovery in American history. His former New York City roommate, Ed Westwick (the hedonistic Chuck Bass of “Gossip Girl”), plays a charming Sunset Strip serial killer, Kent Grainger, on the Los Angeles period piece “Wicked City,” a Tuesday night drama on ABC.
“Blood & Oil” premiere: Sept. 27, 9 p.m., ABC
“Wicked City” premiere: Oct. 27, 10 p.m., ABC
Familiar faces in new places
We are happy to welcome back to the screen some stars who have new parts to play.
Lorraine Toussaint: The “Orange Is the New Black” terror plays Morris Chestnut’s formidable mother in Fox’s “Rosewood.”
Zachary Levi: The amiable star of NBC’s “Chuck” tries his luck on the “Heroes Reborn” relaunch.
Fred Savage: The “Wonder Years” may be far behind him, but after a long stint as a director, he’s back in the game as Rob Lowe’s younger brother on “The Grinder.”
Calista Flockhart: She last played a conservative Republican on the ABC family drama “Brothers & Sisters.” This season, Lockhart is an editor on CBS’s “Supergirl.”
Don Johnson: The “Miami Vice” legend plays an oil baron on “Blood & Oil.”
Most unnecessary spinoff
“Heroes Reborn”
When “Heroes” premiered in 2006, it introduced a captivating mix of mostly unknown actors playing ordinary people who discovered that they had superpowers. The special effects were extremely cool, especially when high school cheerleader Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere) could spontaneously repair her body after falling off buildings and getting burned. Both critics and audiences loved the show — some 14 million viewers watched the premiere — and the show received eight Emmy nominations in its first season. But the quality of the show started to deteriorate as early as Season 2, and the slowly declining numbers proved it. The Season 4 premiere only attracted 5.9 million viewers. America didn’t need any more TV “Heroes,” which raises the nagging question: Why did NBC decide to do it all over again? Rather than NBC giving us a new idea for a series, they’ve gone into the TV graveyard.
Premiere: Sept. 24, 8 p.m., NBC