A woman walks into a London butcher shop. You know her, I know her, we all know her. She’s the manic pixie dream girl (MPDG): that mysterious, hyperactive female character who has been helping modern men “find themselves” for decades.
And, like a bedbug infestation, she just won’t go away.
Mary-Louise Parker plays the latest embodiment of the most tiresome cliche of the ’90s and aughts in Simon Stephens’ drama “Heisenberg,” which opened Thursday on Broadway. At 42, Parker’s character Georgie is a tad older than Natalie Portman’s in “Garden State” — when she played the epitome of pixiedom — or Kate Hudson’s in “Almost Famous,” but the resemblance is uncanny.
Parker’s character has no inside voice, her movement is amoebic and her emotional instability is adorable, because she’s so gorgeous. Behavior that on anybody else would be considered crazy is, on the MPDG, layered and complex. Likable, even.
But what these ubiquitous characters really amount to is the fetishization of childlike behavior in women. Their men are grounded and paternal, while the flighty gal pals are as high as the International Space Station, giggling up a storm.
The MPDG enables a hapless man to get from point A to point B, while the audience assumes she’s but a fleeting presence in his much more significant life. Such a character type is a fantasy, not reality, and should go the way of MySpace and Doc Martens.
In the first scene of “Heisenberg,” set in a train station, Georgie introduces herself to a 75-year-old butcher shop owner, Alex (Denis Arndt), with a wacky lie.
“I’m an assassin,” she says, pausing. “I’m not really! No, I’m a waitress!”
Her level of maturity now established, Georgie will deceive Alex several more times throughout the 90-minute play — sharply directed by Mark Brokaw — under the guise of nuanced character development. However, her maneuvers really exist to give Alex a substantial emotional arc as their quirky courtship progresses, while she wallows in cartoonish consistency.
He’s allowed to say honest, simple sentences like, “More often than not I just end up being disappointed with other people.”
But Georgie’s thoughts are usually along the lines of, “Do you want a pillow fight? No. Better not. I’d beat you so easily, it would just be embarrassing for both of us.”
Sure, Georgie has her emotional moments, but you don’t buy a single one. As in all MPDG stories, you cheer on the dude and laugh at the lady. What a shame.
Why do we persist in presenting these stories over and over again? Since the MPDG never stops moving or talking, they’re perfect acting showcases. Parker’s neuroses are delightful to watch here, and they bring out a moving sensitivity in Arndt, an astonishing 77-year-old actor making his Broadway debut.
But no matter the strength of the acting, it’s hard not to feel guilty watching this antiquated view of women abasing themselves in relationships.
It’s certainly a waste of both performers’ prodigious talents.