Dwight Howard fought through the hurt and found a new level of freedom.
The Memphis Grizzlies center said during a two-part interview on Fox Sports 1’s “Fair Game” that airs Wednesday and Thursday that the allegations about him and his sexuality, which surfaced last year and were expanded on in a lawsuit filed by Masin Elije in March, deeply affected him, giving him a different outlook on life and society.
“It really just set me free,” Howard said.
Howard was accused by Elije, who wrote on Twitter that he is a gay man, of being engaged in a romantic relationship with him. Elije is suing the NBA star, claiming Howard tried to harass him into signing a non-disclosure agreement after their purported relationship ended. Howard has since countersued.
Howard again denied the allegations during the FS1 interview saying, “I’m not gay,” but went into detail about how the whole experience of dealing with the claims changed him on a more personal level. He said it upset him because people were talking about him, adding he didn’t even know the man who made the claim, leaving him wondering why someone would “make up a whole story about me.”
“It hurt at first to go through it,” said Howard, who missed almost all of last season because of injury. “It hurt. I sat at home and I was like, ‘Man, I’ll never want to come outside again.’ I’m like, ‘Why?’”
While he was struggling inside, he was experiencing all the negative feelings and reaction around him. It ended up being a transformational experience for the eight-time All-Star.
“I saw all the hate, the pure hate, from people that I never met before just pile up everywhere I went against me,” Howard said. “And I think that liberated me because I saw how a lot of people would feel, whether they’re gay or they’re straight, whether they have issues.
“People are afraid to be who they are. They’re afraid to step out and be, like you [host Kristine Leahy] said, because they are afraid of what other people might say or think about them.”
It made Howard, who was traded by the Wizards to the Grizzlies earlier this month, realize he and others shouldn’t be so concerned with what others think of them. They need to be comfortable being who they are.
“I’m not gay. It’s a lot of people who are and they have to hide and it’s people who have mental issues and they have to hide,” Howard said. “It’s people who have different problems in life and they have to hide. They have to put on the mask every day. It’s like, I don’t want to wear no mask. I just want to be.”
In response to the interview, Elije wrote on Twitter that Howard was trying protect his image and “I stand by what I said.”