Thousands of New Yorkers tune into Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s afternoon coronavirus briefings each day for vital updates on how to go on with their lives. When will my kids go back to school? What month can my store reopen? Is it safe to take the subway to my job?
We generally end the hour with no more answers than when we started. That pitiful trend continued Thursday, when Cuomo added Chris Rock and Rosie Perez to his task force.
Not Dr. Chris Rock of Mt. Sinai and famed epidemiologist Rosie Perez. The experts Cuomo has chosen are the stars of “Down to Earth” and “White Men Can’t Jump.”
During a condescending, borderline-satirical introduction, Cuomo claimed that the entire borough of Brooklyn, from Williamsburg to Brighton Beach, just won’t listen to the poor guy about wearing masks and maintaining social distancing.
“I’m not cool enough,” he said, two days after declaring face masks cool. “They want a full-fledged Brooklyn voice.”
That’s when he brought up Rock and Perez, who took the seats usually occupied by, you know, public officials of real consequence. Entertainers, not community outreach, have been tasked with convincing a hesitant public to slap on some PPE and stay six feet apart. When we’ve already been doing that for months.
How on earth will Perez manage that when she couldn’t even convince audiences to watch “Birds of Prey”?
The pair slobbered over Cuomo like there was a gun under the table. “I just want to say that our governor is a rock star and he makes me proud to be from New York,” Perez said. “Aw! Thank you very much. You guys are the rock stars!” Cuomo replied.
Rock the star then talked about how much he misses performing onstage. “Hi, microphone. I’ve missed you. I know it’s been hard,” he said. Wait, when can kids go back to school?
Later on, a reporter pressed the guv once more on exactly why two movie stars were lecturing us about the coronavirus pandemic. Cuomo said, “They are going to use their voice, their skill, their talent to communicate better than I have.”
All right then. So, Mr. Rock and Ms. Perez, what is your detailed reopening plan for New York City? We need one.