College freshman Ryan Abele had a bright future. In high school in Concord, Calif., the 18-year-old had been a baseball player with a 3.94 GPA. In 2016, he enrolled at the University of Nevada, Reno, where he planned to major in broadcast journalism and was excited about joining a fraternity.
“It was something that he was looking forward to. It wasn’t something that we encouraged,” his father, Jack Abele, 62, told The Post. Ryan was drawn to the Delta Xi chapter of Sigma Nu and rushed the fraternity.
“It’s a big beautiful house. They throw big parties, and you can go drink some beer and meet some girls. I see the appeal,” said Jack, a retired vice president for a sign company who graduated from Chico State but was not involved in Greek life.
Ryan pledged Sigma Nu. On the night of Saturday, Oct. 15, 2016, the fraternity whittled down its 58 pledges to 31, including Ryan. Ultimately, just 15 pledges would be admitted to the fraternity. The pledges were tasked with each consuming a 750-milliliter bottle of alcohol. Ryan’s was a 100-proof bottle of rum.
“I thought about it for a long time. Why would you do this? Why wouldn’t you just walk away from it? But there was this pressure — if you don’t do it, there are plenty of other guys who will take your place,” Jack said.
The next morning, still intoxicated, Ryan fell down a flight of stairs leading to the basement of the fraternity house. He ruptured a main artery to his brain and died 12 days later. In December of 2016, the University of Nevada, Reno, suspended Sigma Nu for 15 years after an investigation by its Office of Student Conduct found the frat violated its alcohol policy with underage drinking. The Reno Gazette-Journal reported that the fraternity also allegedly broke student conduct codes by having marijuana and topless dancers at a pledge event the night before Ryan’s injury.
“It’s surreal because it could have been anyone,” Jack said of his son’s death. “But at the same time, it should have been no one.”
Fraternities and sororities are an increasingly controversial part of the college experience at many American universities. On Monday, Cornell University suspended all parties and social events hosted by fraternities after campus police said one student reported a sexual assault and another four reported their drinks were allegedly drugged. Still, some parents urge their children to go Greek, saying that the system is a jovial breeding ground for life-long friendships and an influential career network. Others hope their kids avoid it because of the increased risk of alcohol abuse and sexual assault.
“It’s time to abolish college fraternities,” wrote Kate Cohen, a Washington Post columnist with a college-aged son, in a 2021 op-ed. Cohen cited research from a 2019 report that found men in fraternities are more than three times as likely to commit sexual violence than those who aren’t. The report blamed the uptick in sexual violence on the culture of frats. “Why do we still tolerate these places?” the Albany, NY-based writer asked.
On Thursday, Cornell University English professor Daniel R. Schwarz published an opinion piece in Inside Higher Ed calling for the end of the fraternity and sorority system and noting it “encourages excessive drinking, abusive bullying under the guise of hazing, groupthink and sexism.”
But some parents are outraged by efforts to tame Greek life. In January, Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill., suspended its chapter of Sigma Chi until the fall of 2024 following reports of an alleged drugging at two events at its on-campus fraternity house. A parent of a Sigma Chi member is furious about the ban.
“It was just done really poorly. When push comes to shove they can blame the frats and the kids in it… but by saying ‘no more parties,’ that’s not going to solve the problem. They’ll go have them somewhere else, which isn’t a good thing either,” the parent, who spoke to The Post anonymously, said. School administrators “are so concerned with being politically correct at the expense of these kids — of their connection and their emotional and social well-being,” the parent added.
Others want their kids to follow in their footsteps. Trish Perez, 53, an international psychologist based in Chicago, relished her time in Delta Gamma at Northwestern in the ’90s. So, when her daughter Riley got accepted to Pace University’s Manhattan campus in 2018, she encouraged her to pledge.
“I told her, ‘You need to find a family.’ Like a home away from home, and find people that you connect with. I said, ‘Try it,’ ” Perez, who is originally from the Philippines, told The Post. “I didn’t push her, but I was secretly hoping she’d join.”
Riley ended up pledging Sigma Delta Tau and has been heavily involved in leadership philanthropy within the sorority.
“There’s actually service embedded — it’s not just social. All students are held to a higher standard, they have to have a certain GPA to be part of it,” Perez said. “It was a positive growth experience for her. She really learned a lot about herself.”
Even Jack, despite the tragic death of his young son, doesn’t believe all frats or Greek life should be abolished.
“It’s gone too far and I think people need to rein it in,” the father said. But, “it’s almost overkill to suspend every frat.”
Jack and his wife, Wendy Abele, filed a negligence lawsuit in spring 2017 against the Delta Xi chapter of Sigma Nu; Sigma Nu House Authority, the registered owner of the frat house; and several then-members of the fraternity and a former advisor to the chapter. They reached a confidential settlement in March 2019.
“You have to look at what’s taking place,” he said. “I think you should suspend the frats that are drugging girls, investigate them. But I don’t think you should suspend every social event ever.”
