The only thing getting bigger is their nose.
Men’s penises might be growing, according to some research — but that trend apparently hasn’t stopped us from lying about it anyway.
Scientists in Denmark have discovered that the average male sex-aggerates the length of their manhood, adding about a fifth of their actual length to the claim — and also attaches several centimeters to their height.
The researchers set out to investigate whether the average man “would overestimate certain bodily markers linked to masculinity” and to what extent, authors wrote in a new study published recently in the journal “Frontiers in Psychology.”
The Danish scientists asked 200 men, ages 18 to 35, to self-report on physical attributes classically linked to “manly” men, such as their height, weight and penis size, among other factors.
They then cross-referenced their responses with the national averages in each category.
After tallying the tallywackers, scientists found that participants on average claimed they swung 7.10 inches — 21.1% larger than the mean Danish penis length of 5.85 inches.
Furthermore, these results excluded participants who outright lied about the dimensions of their todger, including several who insisted that their organs exceeded 13 inches while erect — as big as the world record held by New York actor Jonah Falcon.
Meanwhile, one penile Pinocchio even claimed that their member was 50 times larger than the penis of an adult elephant, which boasts the biggest phallus of any land animal.
However, the crown jewel of phallic fibs concerned a respondent who said their willy extended for half a mile — that’s 2,640 feet or 31,680 inches.
Interestingly, money seemed to factor into these phallic fabrications.
Respondents were paid either $5 or $22 for their participation. Researchers found that those paid more money inflated numbers less, bringing new meaning to the term “financial compensation.”
The study also revealed that men on average add several centimeters to their height and subtract several pounds from their weight.
The researchers ultimately deduced that men have the propensity to spin physical “fish stories,” in part “because men and, to some extent, women seem to equate bigger with better when it comes to male markers of masculinity,” they wrote in the new report.
Interestingly, bigger isn’t necessarily better when it comes to success in the sack: A 2022 survey of women found that 8 inches is the optimal size to make a woman orgasm while climax-inducing capabilities drop off dramatically in anything bigger than 9 inches.
As for height exaggerations, the researchers concluded that men weave tall tales because people are perceived more positively due to their “altitude advantage.”
Recent studies found that beanpoles of both sexes earn more salary on average than their more diminutive counterparts.
Scientists contributed this to the fact that tall people may have greater confidence from literally “looking down on others” and are also perceived as more authoritative and leaderlike.
Ultimately, it’s not too surprising that participants would exaggerate certain “male markers of masculinity” — a behavior that’s been lampooned to the point of cliché.
However, scientists claim their research is significant because it shows “the magnitude of this exaggeration,” per the study.
