Crisis-hit royals’ new nightmare: Kate Middleton’s loose cannon Uncle Gary becomes ‘Big Brother’ star

He describes himself as “a toddler on sugar,” has been caught in a cocaine sting by an undercover reporter and is a multimillionaire who pleaded guilty to assaulting his fourth wife.

Uncle Gary Goldsmith is Princess Kate’s worst relative, even by his own admission, with a “self-destruct mode” he can’t control.

So the last thing Britain’s crisis-hit royal family would need right now is a loose cannon like him dropping truth bombs on television.

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But that is precisely what is happening — just as the royals grapple with Princess Kate’s mysterious prolonged absence due to an unknown health condition, and King Charles’ cancer.

Uncle Gary, Kate’s mother’s younger brother, made his first appearance on Britain’s “Celebrity Big Brother” on Tuesday night and made an immediate splash with his loud personality and comments about his royal relations.

While Gary claims to adore his niece, in an interview before he went in, he threw lighter fluid on her and Prince William’s feud with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle by saying of them: “Throwing your family under the bus just seems inappropriate.”

He also told the Sun that he understood why his sister Carole, the princess’s mother, who was seen in photographs driving her daughter, might want to avoid watching him. 

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“I think she will probably be watching me from behind the sofa, slightly anxious,” he said.

“But I do think if the best version of Gary turns up, she’d be proud of me — that’s what we were hoping for!” But he warned: “I have a self-destruct mode, though, and my mouth runs away with me.”

Calling himself the “buncle” — the bad uncle — the 58-year-old’s appearance on the daily network television show could not come at a worse time for his niece or her blue-blooded relations. 

A photo published Monday of Princess Kate being driven by her mother has started a new round of internet conspiracy theories about what is so wrong with her that she cannot be seen publicly.

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Although she was initially due to be back on the royal circuit after Easter, there was more confusion Tuesday when her appearance at the annual military parade called Trooping the Colour in June was announced by the military but then not confirmed by Kensington Palace.

In contrast, her father-in-law, King Charles, has cancer but has been photographed with the prime minister and other British officials and has resumed work. 

Gary is the very opposite of his sister Carole Middleton, who is the picture of demure discretion. 

While he may feel that his heart is in the right place and he wants to show loyalty to Kate and William, millions are tuning into the show in the hope that he spills some new royal secrets — giving the show its best ratings in eight years. 

In his first show, he was quizzed by music manager Louis Walsh about what it was like having a member of his family marry into the most famous royal family in the world. 

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“I didn’t vote for it, it happened to me and then suddenly there’s a spotlight on you,” he said. Claiming that Kate and William are both “the savior of the royal family,” he added that sometimes he struggled to get hold of his niece, who was a bridesmaid at one of his weddings. 

“It’s difficult to get hold of Kate at the best of times,” he added. “She’s got children and I love the fact that she’s putting family first.”

While he insisted he is not the black sheep of the family as painted, he also claimed: “Every part of me is just riddled with mischief and danger.”

That love of danger has already gotten Goldsmith, a father of one, into trouble and caused embarrassment for his family.

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In 2009, he was caught in a drug sting at his Spanish villa on the party island of Ibiza — a villa he nicknamed Le Maison de Bang Bang and where he hosted Kate and William.

He was filmed by a tabloid newspaper reporter handing over cocaine. Goldsmith denied taking drugs and the reporter was later jailed for perverting the course of justice in the aftermath of an unrelated sting. 

More problematic is the royal relative’s conviction for assaulting his fourth wife, Julie-Ann, in 2017. He was accused of knocking her to the ground after she accused him of taking drugs during a drunken fight.

He pleaded guilty to one count of assault by beating and was fined $6,300 and given a 12-month community order — the UK’s most serious form of non-custodial sentence — and 20 sessions of rehab. He insists he is now a better man. 

Gary and older sister Carole grew up in public housing in western London, where their father was a house painter and their mother worked in a shop.

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While Carole, who became an air hostess, set up a party decorations company which made her wealthy, Gary set up a recruitment company which he sold for nearly $40 million. 

Despite the scandal attached to him, he attended the weddings of both Kate and her sister, Pippa, and remains close to his sister.

While Kate and William have never spoken publicly about the many allegations leveled at them by Harry and Meghan, Gary has also proved to be loyal to his niece, insisting in several interviews that he was outraged that she could be called racist, adding that “she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

“I think Gary’s appearance on ‘Big Brother’ is not timed brilliantly and I hope that he will be sensitive to Kate’s position and keeps that at the back of his mind at all times,” said royal commentator Jonathan Sacerdoti.

“If Kensington Palace had their way, members of Kate’s family wouldn’t be appearing on reality shows — let’s hope it is not a problem.”