Josh Ho-Sang had to pause and think for a moment whether he had more nerves when he made his NHL debut with the Islanders or last week when he released his first rap album, “SAME.”
He chuckled and then responded.
“Honestly, probably the album because it was such a new feel. Hockey I know I got that,” Ho-Sang told The Post by phone. “My music was literally like minor hockey. I felt like I was doing ‘Learn to Skate,’ like I was exposed.”
Considering the meaning behind his music and the app Pick-Up Pro Sports or PUP — aimed at allowing users to find pickup games, events, and practices and reward them for being active — it’s understandable the nerves that Ho-Sang had when the two passion projects were released days apart from one another.
The app, in Ho-Sang’s words, allows people to “connect on an even higher level” while creating a space “where people can be active, learn and be rewarded.”
At 28 years old and several years removed from his time with the Islanders, who selected the forward 28th overall in the 2014 NHL Draft, Ho-Sang is in a much different place than he was during his sometimes chaotic experience on Long Island.
In a nearly 45-minute, candid conversation with The Post, Ho-Sang, who is also restarting his hockey career with the ECHL’s Florida Everblades, explained how music played a role in his mental healing after hearing the constant criticisms and getting “clouded by noise,” which led to some of the mistakes he made over the years.
“It is weird being told what you are throughout your developmental stages at 18-22. People are like ‘You’re lazy, you don’t do this, you don’t do that.’ And you’re still trying to figure out your identity at that age,” Ho-Sang said. “I think with the music I really wanted to express some of the depth that all athletes have, not just me. Being able to offer perspective on some of the things that I’ve experienced and being able to share that some of the stuff that I’ve been through has hurt, but it hasn’t defeated me.”
Ho-Sang’s tenure with the Islanders is still viewed as a what-if by fans, who were quick to embrace him when he was drafted a decade ago.
His offensive ability was unquestioned, but questions regarding character issues came with him.
He didn’t help his cause at times either, which Ho-Sang acknowledges.
“All you can do is take accountability for what you did and if I could tell you right now I was perfect in New York, I would. I wasn’t, but that’s the reality. I made a couple of mistakes here and there,” Ho-Sang said.
Ho-Sang said he remembered the highs more than the lows during his time with the Islanders — pointing to the fact he was able to play with Brock Nelson, Josh Bailey and witnessed Mat Barzal have a standout rookie campaign.
Nevertheless, one thing that did become clear was the impact his public dressing down had in 2015 during the first day of training camp.
Ho-Sang showed up late and was made to run the stairs at Nassau Coliseum for three-plus hours by then-general manager Garth Snow, then was sent packing back to junior hockey, while word of the incident became fodder in the media.
“So imagine that at 19, right?” he said. “Having those eight hours of just hell. For me that messed me up a bit. I was fortunate enough to be sent to a great organization in the Niagara IceDogs and they sort of helped me find some footings and I was able to have some success from there.”
The winger said he understood “some of” why the Islanders chose to make the details as public as they did, but said it made him feel “very naked.”
Ho-Sang would go on to play 53 NHL games with the Islanders, including a 21-game stint in 2016-17 when he scored four goals and had 10 points, but the stigma always seemed to follow and the outside noise stayed with him.
“I think that some things that maybe didn’t come across clearly for people was I was a 19-year-old who had articles in the New York Times and the New York Post and the Toronto Star about how I was late and how I basically made the biggest uh-oh in the last five years of a draft pick,” Ho-Sang said. “And then I also don’t play the most straight-line game, so when your game starts getting questioned then everything sort of falls into question.”
Music had always been a part of Ho-Sang’s life from when he was a kid and would go see his dad — Wayne Ho-Sang, a member of the reggae band Fujahtive — perform or hear him playing the piano in the house and became an outlet for him later in life at the suggestion of his therapist, which Ho-Sang said he started to see outside the organizational structure.
“My therapist encouraged me to use my music to see how I feel,” he said. “‘Just write, write songs and if you see anything is coming up repetitively it’s a good sign that this is on your mind and you should address it.’ So I started using music that way. Then just through my battle, I guess from 22 to now, music has saved me in so many regards. There are songs that have literally saved my life.”
Fast-forward to this month and Ho-Sang hoped that the songs on “SAME” can help people who are going through a tough time and that his journey can be a source of inspiration.
Ho-Sang said he has heard from a number of people across the hockey world who have listened to his music and reached out expressing a greater understanding for what he had been going through, including a number of former general managers, though he wouldn’t specify which ones.
The forward did express fear that his message would get lost in some of the more explicit lyrics in the songs, but the positive messages he’s gotten has reaffirmed “what I thought, which is no one in hockey is bad. It’s sometimes people don’t know.”
Ho-Sang scored his first ECHL goal and finished with two points on Saturday in his second game with the Everblades.
Is the NHL still the goal?
“For me I just want to play hockey. If those guys think I’m pretty and they want to put me in the NHL then that’s cool, but for me, I just want to win,” Ho-Sang said.
And more importantly, he’s finding peace.
“I’m so incredibly proud of where I’m standing today,” he said. “Because there was times I didn’t think I would be and I think that being able to overcome that doubt that I felt in the past gives me so much strength for the future. I feel like I’m in a mental state where I feel like I can do anything.
“I dropped a rap album people didn’t hate. I dropped an app that will empower society in activity and get people going, having fun and for me to be able to offer those gifts to the world. And then to be able to come back and play hockey, which is the gift to myself is like. … Yeah, happiest guy in the world.”
