Mom divides parents after bringing her 11-year-old son into a women’s changing room: ‘He was taller than me’

When it comes to the do’s and don’ts of public changing rooms, a mom has seriously divided opinions online.

It all began when a woman visited her local aquatic center and made a dash to the changing room before a class, only to be greeted by an unexpected sight — an 11-year-old boy.

The woman wrote in a post on Mumsnet, “he was taller than me,” and said he had clearly hit his growth spurt already.

“He’s only 11,” mom says

“He watched me get changed, which left me very uncomfortable,” the woman recalled, adding that there were only benches inside and no cubicles, so you had to get changed in the communal area.

The boy’s mom seemed oblivious to the awkward dynamic, so the woman left as quickly as possible.

“I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why,” she explained. “So my friend went over and spoke to the mom who got really angry and said he was entitled to be in there, he’s only 11.”

The pair were unsatisfied with her justification that he was “still a child,” so they complained to the staff when they were leaving. 

“They were a bit horrified. Apparently, the unofficial age limit is seven,” she said, but they didn’t tell off the mother. 

“So is it unreasonable to expect an 11-year-old to use their own sex changing room?”

“This is ridiculous”

Cue the range of opinions from the court of public opinion.

Many echoed the woman’s concern, with one commenter writing: “There is no reason why a male over the age of eight or nine needs to be in the female changing room, especially if there is only public changing available.”

Others also agreed that kids should switch to gender-aligned change rooms around that age. “You were right to complain. This is ridiculous. He should have definitely been in the male-changing areas at that age,” someone claimed. 

“Every pool I’ve been to has had signs up saying anyone over eight has to use the correct changing room for their sex. I thought that was an industry standard of some sort,” shared another. “Other women don’t have to just put up with this sort of thing because women like her feel entitled to make others uncomfortable by bringing in sons old enough to get themselves dressed.”

Then, a fellow boy mom weighed in, saying: “My son is 11, and he always uses the men’s changing rooms alone. He manages fine. He likes independence, actually, and it’s the right thing for everyone.”

“He would be the more vulnerable one in the male changing room”

Yet, amid this, some argued that the boy wouldn’t be safe going into the men’s changing room alone at that age. 

“I actually think he would be the more vulnerable one in the male changing room,” one user replied before suggesting that perhaps the gym’s lack of private cubicles is the real issue at play.

Another mom agreed: “While I appreciate the OP’s discomfort, I also wouldn’t be comfortable sending my son into a male changing room where I assume there would be a similar set-up with grown males and him being naked in the same space.”

Then, finally, this person provided this balanced take, “Of course, I would rather my nine-year-old son be in the changing room with me, but that isn’t other women’s problem.”