Royal life’s wear and tear
Her Serene Highness Princess Grace Kelly — long before Kate Middleton — once gave me a lesson in the life of a commoner-turned-princess.
Back aways, when we were guests of the Shah celebrating Iran’s 2,500th anniversary of the founding of his city of Persepolis, she told me:
“In this kind of a special marriage — with a commoner marrying a crowned head — the man automatically must be the head of the household. My husband’s used to being the undisputed ruler. His word is law. Basically there is no choice. But of course there’s occasional lapses where I try a little lobbying now and then.”
Grace Kelly, born in Philadelphia, actress in Hollywood, shared some girl talk.
“I had to adapt to his life, his way of doing things. I had to become royalized. Marriage to a future king is different. Life’s dictated by protocol, obligations.”
So, can palace life be homey — like put your feet on the coffee table? Her sigh followed with “I try.”
Then in her 40s, she smiled ruefully. Years had touched her with a feather. Hair, slightly less blond. Figure slightly less svelte. “Listen, if you can figure out the diet problem, let me know.”
Thinking of Princess Kate now, I remember asking then if Her Serene Highness Grace ever itched to get off the world for a little privacy?
She sighed and said: “Yes. One must go away to recharge the batteries. I actually went to New Hampshire for one month. I sat around with no obligations, no makeup, relaxed. I let everything drop.
“You cannot with the palace and press watching. Breaks are needed just for my husband and me to talk. At home we always communicate via secretary. To catch him alone it’s always to say such and such party we must go to. Then we sit across a table with many people. I only really get to be with him on time away.”
Mazel tov Melissa & Steve
Melissa Rivers — a k a Joan Rivers’ writer/producer/entertainer/actress/ fashionista/really rich good-looking daughter — is getting married. Again.
Her son Edgar is 23. The new ring she’s gotten is almost that big. He’s LA lawyer Steve Mitchel. They’ve been around one another a year and a half.
The engagement was in Mexico which I know was one of mom Joan’s favorite places because I’ve vacationed with her there.
Melissa: “Here are the details so far: It’s a year from now. March 2025. In Jackson Hole, Wyo. No traditional ceremony. It’s a ‘Hell Freezes Over’ theme. Like a great party and, at some point in the evening, we will stop and do a brief ceremony. A fun weekend with my friends is about all I can handle.”
Our court’s filled with nonsense
OK, so, meanwhile, back to us civilians and what’s new in today’s Federal Court:
A plastic surgeon’s suing for sexual advances made during liposuction and a Brazilian butt lift procedure.
Plus, some nobody No. 1 began an action against some nobody No. 2 for using a website photo without authorization.
Another got hit with a case for taking too many bathroom breaks during work. Like, to pee or not to pee?
Also, a tour company was sued for providing a defective scooter causing the rider to hit a pole.
And a Fashion Week partygoer claims he was arrested for no good reason. And someone messed up another someone’s credit report.
Mazel tov to us all — except for Kamala Harris, who believes a vice president is one who stands ready to lay down your life for her country.
We seem partway, semi, almost back to normal.
Oy. Only in New York, kids, only in New York.