Taylor Swift was heartbroken on Eras tour post-Joe Alwyn split: ‘Smile even when you wanna die’
It wasn’t the stuff of her wildest dreams.
On Taylor Swift’s latest album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” which dropped Friday, the pop star, 34, seemingly admits that she was more emotionally wounded from her breakup with British actor Joe Alwyn than it seemed at the time.
In her song “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” the 13th track on the album, Swift says that she was only pretending to be happy following their split, which took place just before she started her Eras tour last year.
Lyrics supposedly about the “Conversations With Friends” star include: “Cause I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my s—t / They said, ‘Baby, gotta fake it till you make it,’ and I did / Lights, camera, bitch, smile, even when you wanna die / He said he’d love me all his life.”
Swift, who has since moved on to NFL player Travis Kelce, 34, also says in the song that she was “shattered” while crowds chanted “more” from her.
Swift dated Alwyn, 33, for six years, from 2016 to 2023.
Their relationship was more low-key and private than her relationship with past famous exes, such as Tom Hiddleston, 43.
Neither Alwyn nor Swift has publicly spoken much about the other, but this song appears to offer a peek behind the curtains.
And the view it gives is a sharp contrast to a statement that Swift made in May last year. During an Eras tour stop in Massachusetts, she told the crowd, “I’ve just never been this happy in my life — in all aspects of my life — ever before. And I just want to thank you for being a part of that. I don’t know. It’s not just the tour. My life finally feels like it makes sense.”
This isn’t the only track where Swift talks about Alwyn.
Another song called “So Long, London” is a goodbye to the city where the pop star once lived with the actor.
To demonstrate how deep those Swift Easter eggs can be hidden, that track is 9 minutes and 28 seconds — which happens to mirror when the exes are rumored to have started dating in 2016: Sept. 28.
Alwyn is also rumored to figure into the album title, which may be a snarky spin on the name of a group chat, the Tortured Man Club, that he had with actors Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott.
Alwyn and Mescal, 28, opened up about their group chat during a 2022 interview with Variety. It was founded by Scott, 47.
“[Scott is] just on it every day. He’s just on it by himself,” Mescal told the outlet, with Alwyn joking that the “Fleabag” actor is “just messaging himself good mornings.”
Here's what to know about Taylor Swift's new album 'The Tortured Poets Department':
- The 14-time Grammy winner released her highly anticipated 11th studio album “The Tortured Poets Department” on Friday.
- Swift sent her fans into a frenzy at 2 a.m. after revealing the record is a double album. Titled “The Anthology,” Swift’s late-night surprise includes 15 bonus tracks, bringing the total song count to a whopping 31.
- Swift initially unveiled her 16-song album at midnight, including collaborations with Post Malone and Florence Welch on two tracks. There are also four bonus tracks, “The Manuscript,” “The Bolter,” “The Albatross” and “The Black Dog” that are featured on various vinyl versions of the album. The four tracks, as well as 11 new songs, are included in “The Anthology.”
- A poem about heartbreak that serves as a prologue for the album was written by Fleetwood Mac alum Stevie Nicks.
- There are several celeb names peppered throughout the album’s lyrics. The mention of singer Charlie Puth’s name took some Swifties by surprise.
- While some of Swift’s exes aren’t spared on “TTPD,” the singer, 34, does seemingly reference her current beau Travis Kelce on the new album’s track “The Alchemy” in a loving way.
- As for her exes, 1975 frontman Matty Healy is reportedly referenced throughout the 31-song-strong record. In fact, Healy — who, before their summer split, was a rebound romance for the pop superstar following her breakup with British actor Joe Alwyn after six years — appears to be the subject of the vicious takedown “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” Other fans, however, may speculate the “sparkling summer” line is about Alwyn. There are also hints that “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” — gotta love that title — might be about 35-year-old Healy.
- As for Alwyn, Swift dropped hints about the pair’s ill-fated six-year romance for a good — or for him, not so good — part of the album. Check out the 10 Alwyn-related references we’ve spotted.
- Read The Post’s review of “The Tortured Poets Department” here.
- Shop special-edition vinyls of Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” at Target.
- Buy “The Tortured Poets Department” Ghosted White 2 LP special edition set now.
In an interview with GQ UK, Alwyn added that the chat name was “a reflection on Connell and Nick.” Alwyn played the character Nick on “Conversations With Friends,” while Mescal played Connell on “Normal People.” Both TV series were adaptations from books written by Irish author Sally Rooney.
Further lyrics by Swift say, “I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks, cause I can do it with a broken heart / I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthday every day. I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague / I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art.”
