Set to exit left & right
I’m filled with messages about a maybe floppola failure.
Mouths kvetch that the debate won’t debate.
The Biden v. Trump bout is June 27. Smarmy Stormy’s trial gets decided — guess when?
The earliest ever for a presidential debate.
Joe’s counting on cancellation if Trump’s found guilty. Reading from the prompter he’ll say he can’t debate a felon. Slick shtick to reverse his sick poll numbers.
And if acquittal Joe and Jill scramble up the hill to fetch only a pail of water — not election.
But attention please: Anyone note Obama’s at the White House more often since Joe’s numbers declined?
And anyone think Michelle’s last name is enough to sit her behind in the Oval Office?!
Per CNNers, both candidates want out of it. Both sides have second thoughts about agreed to rules.
Trump who interrupts and talks over his opponents needs a live studio audience and open mikes.
The debate prohibits a studio audience plus audio turned off when each candidate’s answer time expires.
Both camps are having second (third and fourth) thoughts about these agreed to rules.
Biden needs an early debate to jump-start his campaign and energize his base but frets this is too early and may have no real impact because it will get forgotten.
Watch Donald bring excuses like demanding Biden be drug-tested beforehand — and no earpiece so that Jill — sitting with her colorist — can dictate answers that have nothing to do with her bleach.
Do not pick on me! Only reporting what I’m hearing.
A few top dogs
Listen, not all our Chiefs of State were brain surgeons.
Ulysses S. Grant. No charmer, he should’ve lost that first name. Working in his dad’s leather store then becoming a West Pointer, he was an antisemite. Plus a drunk. Smoker, gambler, his office smelled of scandal and cronyism.
1884, Grover Cleveland. Could also have lost that first name. Bald, fat, called “A Stalled Ox.” Grover was a rover. An illicit affair with widow Maria Halpin delivered him a boy whom he — barely — acknowledged.
James Polk. Shouted at him was: “Damn you. Go home where you belong.” Polk won by only 39,000 in the popular vote. Called “floating” voter fraud, a New Orleans Dem boss sent a boatload up the Mississippi to vote for him in three places.
Martin Van Buren. His pa owned a bar. Called “a dandy,” Marty did not inspire passion. He got compared to “a fox prowling near a barn” and “a mole burrowing near the ground” and whateverthehell’s “a fish who plunges deep in the ocean.”
Trick ’n’ treat
And big applause for off-B’way’s spectacular magic show “Stalker” at West 50th’s New World Stages. It’s produced by Penn & Teller. The production’s thrilling.
More Chiefs of Stealth tomorrow. Meanwhile, I just sort of idly wonder if sweet sex pro Stormy Daniels ever even considered the fact that a hairdresser who only does sex workers is called a “primp.”
Only in a hotel, kids, only in a hotel.