Parenting

‘I’m OK being the bad guy’: I refuse to let my wife’s family feed my child

When it comes to your kids, your family is always the one who loves to push your boundaries and limits, especially around food. 

One father was furious when his wife’s Aunt gave his 14-month-old daughter a lollipop.

He jumped into action, and drama ensued. 

“I was away for a moment and walked back over to see my child (14 months old) in my wife’s Aunt’s arms with a lollipop in her mouth. I’m no expert, as I’m only a first-time dad, but I’m pretty sure hard candies are a no-no at this age,” he starts his post on Reddit. 

When he asked his wife who had given it to her, the Aunt admitted it was her and asked, “Is something wrong with that?”

There was. 

“Da-da doesn’t want you to have a treat”

“My facial expression showed that I didn’t approve, as she said, ‘Fine, I’ll take it away.’ Of course, at that point, my child started crying, to which the response was, ‘Sorry, your Da-Da doesn’t want you to have a treat.’

“She made a whole scene about it in front of multiple of my wife’s family members, and it came across that they also thought I was overreacting. All I could say at this point is, ‘Sorry, it’s a choking hazard’.”

Dad takes a candy away from his little daughter
One father was furious when his wife’s Aunt gave his 14-month-old daughter a lollipop. pyrozenko13 – stock.adobe.com

When it comes to his daughter’s safety, the father didn’t mind being the ‘bad guy'” — as his wife didn’t want to confront her family. 

He then proceeded to ask if he was not just the bad guy but an a–hole. Overwhelmingly, the answer was no!  

“I can’t imagine overstepping that way”

Never feed a child (or pet) anything before you ask for permission. Basic human knowledge,” the top commenter wrote.

Another offered this advice: “Until my kid could reliably tell others about her allergies, I stuck a sticker on her back saying, “Don’t feed me! I have allergies,” whenever we went somewhere that might have food.”

“Seriously. I’m chill AF, and even my MIL asked before giving my kid apple juice,” a third added. 

Dad and Mom comfort an crying baby, mother wip his tears
When he asked his wife who had given it to her, the Aunt admitted it was her and asked, “Is something wrong with that?” Zelma – stock.adobe.com

Others were questioning if this was a generational issue. 

“Is it a generational thing? I’m asking because I (Gen X) had this issue with my parents and in-laws as a young mother. They always thought their way was the only way and would blatantly ignore me. My in-laws scoffed at car seats when my oldest was born,” one mother added. 

A boomer grandparent responded, saying: “Oh wow. I can’t imagine overstepping that way. I love to spoil my grandson as much as anyone, but his parents make the rules, and it’s important that he follows them.”

“No need to make such a big deal”

But not everyone was willing to throw the Aunty under the bus: “Simple reflex on Aunt’s part to give a child a lollipop. No need to make such a big deal out of it. Did the Aunt even know you didn’t want your child to have sweets?”

The OP replied, “It was more so the choking aspect that concerned me.”

Even though the mother was too timid to say anything, the father wanted everyone to know what a fantastic mother she is to their daughter. 

“Glad to know the overwhelming sentiment is Aunt’s. This was a bad move on the Aunt’s part. I did want to add that my wife is a spectacular mother but has an obvious flaw in that she avoids confrontation. Obviously, she should’ve said something in this circumstance, but I do not want you guys to get the wrong idea about her as a parent.”