Gen Zers and millennials are ‘quiet quitting’ their friendships — here’s why
Best friends — but not necessarily forever.
Gen Z workers made waves two years ago by quiet quitting their jobs — a clever term for doing the bare minimum to get by, also known as acting your wage.
Now, they’re doing the same with less-than-perfect friendships and relationships — the ones where they’re no longer really feeling it.
In a TikTok clip posted last month, content creator and mom Melissa Ann Marie detailed her experience with “quiet quitting” friendships in her own life.
“You can only give so much to people who are not reciprocating the same energy back to you,” she said in the video, adding that she is now in her 30s and has had her fair share of friend break-ups.
Now, she’s at a time in her life where she doesn’t “have time for bulls–t.”
“Breaking up with a friend is weird because it’s not like a romantic relationship where it has to end because you’re seeing other people, but it kind of just has to slowly fade because you’re not prioritizing each other anymore,” she explained.
The hardest part about it, she added, is that they aren’t “treated like actual break-ups,” in that often times there is not a “closure” conversation.
In a subsequent clip, the creator detailed the reasons why she essentially had to dump her various friends — from gossiping to lack of effort — as viewers agreed with her sentiments about “quiet quitting” friendships.
“Currently quiet quitting most of my friendships. It’s lonely but better off,” one user wrote.
“I stopped reaching out because I wasn’t being reached out to. It’s sad but you finally learn,” another agreed.
“While losing enduring connections can lead to feelings of isolation or missing out, quiet quitting may also be a healthy way for millennials and Gen Zers to prune their social lives, allowing new, richer relationships to grow,” clinical psychologist Daniel Glazer told Business Insider.
He noted that he’s seen an increase in “an instinctual impulse among millennials and Gen Zers to start molting connections” that could be “hindering” their personal growth.
Trimming down your social circle can open you up to newer, better connections — but it also has its downsides.
“Quiet quitting” friendships should not be utilized as a method to avoid conflict, warned psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer, who is also the cofounder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy.
He told Business Insider that, instead of splitting up, issues within a friendship “should be addressed” to resolve the problem or “bring an end to the relationship.”
And not to mention, to the person on the other end of the “quiet quitting,” it could feel just like getting ghosted.
“The act of distancing without any explanation can understandably leave lingering discomfort and unanswered questions,” clinical psychologist Sophie Mort, who also works as a mental health expert at Headspace, told Business Insider.
“For the person initiating the distancing, there may be feelings of regret or remorse, especially if their reasons for doing so were due to avoiding confrontation, which can later leave a sense of a missed opportunity to resolve things.”
