Step right up and try your luck folks, because it’s National Game Day.
Celebrated each year on December the 20th, this is a day to honor the ancient spirit of competition and its myriad expressions.
We humans have been playing games, psychological and otherwise since time immemorial, of course.
A kind of conditioning, they encourage critical thinking, concentration, sociability and problem solving skills. The oldest tabletop game ever discovered — the Royal Game of Ur, played in ancient Sumer — dates to circa 2,600-2,400 B.C.
Game shows developed a little more recently, taking over the radio and television airwaves beginning in the 1930’s, peaking in popularity in the mid 20th century with an orally-fixated Libra Groucho Marx leaving his mustached mark on the genre as host of “You Bet Your Life.”
But it wasn’t all laugh tracks, quick cash and sports coats, nay.
Game shows took a hit in the late 1950’s when it was revealed (gasp) that many of the winners and outcomes were biased at best and scripted/deceptive at worst.
And it just gets darker from there. As Post television editor Michael Starr details, “Behind that small-screen facade of cheery, perfectly coiffed, telegenic hosts lurks a sinister cauldron of sex, greed, cheating and inappropriate behavior that occasionally rears its head, exposing its ugly underbelly to America.”
Yikes.
In celebration of lighthearted competition and ugly underbellies, we’re bringing you a list of the zodiac signs as game shows. Read on, right on.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Cash Cab
Aries is the sign of octane and adrenaline, cheap laughs and fast thrills. Enter “Cash Cab,” which pairs the element of surprise with competition, comedy, changing scenery, and casino-esque interiors. Taking it on the run, with a chance to exit a moving vehicle richer than when you entered it? Pure cardinal fire power.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Supermarket Sweep
Taurus rules the second house of wealth and worth, assets and aesthetic, making a show whose premise is assigning value to consumable goods a full bull affair. Add to the evidence that as a fixed earth sign born with a serious appetite and baptized in the need for more, the only time you will ever see a Taurus run it will be towards groceries — or a sale rack.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
The $100,000 Pyramid
Symbolized by the twins, Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of communication and exchange, lyrics and insults. In kind and in catch phrase, “The $100,000 Pyramid” is predicated on curiosity and partnership, richly rewarding those that manage to be synced up — and smart enough to guess at what word or phrase their teammate is holding.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Family Feud
Cancer rules the fourth house of family, home, ancestral trauma, passive aggressive tendencies and the root systems that bind. Low stakes and wholesome with an emphasis on quality time, easy laughs, good natured competition and bloodline bonds, “Family Feud” fits the bill for the Cancer ilk.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
Born to win, with a heart on for bright lights and big monies, Leo rules the fifth house of pleasure and play, parlor games, finger painting and the eternal spirit of the inner child. “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?,” which pits child stars against eager adults for a chance to win cash prizes, gets the lion share of friendly competition and good clean fun.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Jeopardy!
Ruled by Mercury and driven by a need to improve itself and others, Virgo is the sign of meticulous accountability. True to form, “Jeopardy!” judges double-check their own rulings throughout production of each episode to ensure correctness, adjusting contestant scores to reflect any discrepancies. This energy is reflected in the persnickety nature of fans/critics who wasted no opportunity to publicly disparage former host Mayim Bialik’s “inconsistent” judging. Uptight about being right, the hallmark of any self-respecting Virgo.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
The Dating Game
As a cerebral air sign ruled by Venus, planet of assets and attraction, love is a game and banter the bread and butter of Libras. Enter “The Dating Game,” whose premise is wit as worth, with three contestants answering a series of provocative questions and each episode ending with the winner blowing a kiss to the audience.
Associated with leisure, partnership and social climbing, Libras will vibe with the all-expenses-paid first date promise of the show and its history as a springboard for fame, with notable alumni including Farrah Fawcett, Suzanne Somers, Leif Garrett, Tom Selleck, Lee Majors, Michael Richards, Joanna Cameron, Andy Kaufman, Steve Martin, Burt Reynolds, John Ritter, Phil Hartman, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Wheel of Fortune
Helmed by Scorpio host Pat Sajak, recognized by the Guinness World Records for having the “longest career as a game show host for the same show,” “Wheel of Fortune,” is a hotbed of scorpionic energy. Rulers of the eight house of sex, death and other people’s money, it tracks that this enduring game show would come under fire for egregious pay discrepancies betwixt its male and female hosts — Sajak and the ageless, albeit long-suffering letter turner Vanna White.
Scorpions have a reputation for brutal honesty, power moves and cut throat commentary — Sajak is no exception. In addition to verbal shaming, he’s raised eyebrows and concerns for putting a contestant in a chokehold, making light of stalking Vanna and asking a wheel spinning contender to remove his shirt.
While Scorpio is not a sign that estranged from controversy, it is fixed water and built to last — a quality that helps explain the longevity of the show and Sajak and White’s four decade tenures.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
The Price is Right
Sagittarius is the sign of high ideals and low brow humor, free wheeling vibes and friendly fanaticism. Hosted since the dawn of time — until the late aughts — by problematic archer Bob Barker, the show’s signature sendoff was a call to spay and neuter pets; a fitting final note for a sign associated with rallying cries and the pointed arrows of aspirational directives.
Apropos of the tongue in cheek, zero f–ks comedic timing of this mutable fire sign, in 2019, CBS opted to interrupt then President Trump’s national emergency declaration to return viewers to their regularly scheduled “The Price Is Right.” Sticking it to the man — and POTUS — with bright lights and broadcast shade.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
Who wants to be a millionaire? Every Capricorn you’ve ever met, including former host and serious side part Meredith Vieira. Capricorn is the sign of striving, a punishing sort that gets off on difficulty and isn’t happy til it hurts.
Apropos of this, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” features multiple choice questions of increasing difficulty to be answered under the added pressure of a clock countdown, time being the tenant of strict daddy Saturn, the ruling planet of sea goats.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Deal or No Deal
The most compelling aspect of “Deal or No Deal,” (aside from host Howie Mandel insisting on wearing latex gloves/germ condoms to shake the hands of contestants) is the faceless, voiceless character known only as “The Banker.”
Wheeling and dealing from a skybox perch, he communicates via proxy, all the while embodying, or disembodying as it were, the distant yet compelling fixed star energy of the Aquarius archetype.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Let’s Make a Deal
Pisces is governed by Neptune, planet of illusions and fantasy, dreams and costumes. In the spirit of the sign, “Let’s Make a Deal” encourages would be contestants to dress up in all manner of garb to garner the favor of the host. A ‘pick me, I can become anything you need me to be, promise to love me the most’ vibe? Consistent with every Pisces I have ever met.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
