Oh, money, root of all evil and means to most ends.
Because we live and work under the crushing wheel of capitalism, having money to spend feels aspirational, while saving money feels sacrificial.
To combat a shoddy economy and an ever-climbing cost of living, the youngest among us are digging ourselves into debt through the dangerous stress management/self-soothing tactic of doom spending, and saving by shacking up in inflationships.
Fun fact: “Money” comes from Moneta, the surname of the Roman goddess Juno, near whose temple on Capitoline Hill currency was coined.
Juno was the goddess of love and marriage, so it tracks that cash is the enduring source of many a marital argument. It would also seem the “financial flame” dating trend of today has its roots in these ancient associations.
Experts are stressing that people start the new year by committing to financial resolutions, while some fiscal forecasters are predicting 2K24 will see the largest crash in a generation. The bubble is set to burst in more ways than one, folks, meaning there’s never been a finer time to get right with your revenue. Read on to see what savings hack best serves your zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
The 30-day rule
Patience is not typically your virtue, Aries, but an exercise in thoughtful restraint may help you save money and discern between what is a true need versus a temporary want. If you’re considering a big-ticket item — a rowing machine, flame thrower, vintage Mortal Kombat console, etc., write it down and place it in a drawer. If you forget about it or decide you don’t need it, you’ve put money back in your pocket and self-control in your arsenal. Cha-ching.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Dedicate one day a week to zero spending
As rulers of the house of wealth and worth, you Taureans oft self-soothe with your purchasing power. A great challenge for the horned contingent is to set aside one day a week for zero spending. It may take a little planning — and some minimal meal prep — but do your damnedest to spend zero dollars the whole day through. Redefine indulgence and see how much joy you can mine from what you already own.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Keep your savings account separate
As the sign of the twins and a sign predisposed to dipping into savings for spending, sometimes out of sight and out of bounds is truly better for you, Gemini. Consider keeping your savings account completely separate from your checking account rather than linked to it. An added obstacle may just be what paves your way to financial freedom.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Order your groceries online
Ruling the milk-doling, life-giving chest, Cancer is the sign of nourishment — caloric, emotional, and otherwise. Many crab folks enjoy tending to themselves and others through the sacred gift of a home-cooked meal. Ordering groceries online allows you to honor that impulse while balancing your budget. In addition to sparing you time and energy, ordering ahead rather than perusing hungry saves you from the temptation to add more to the cart than you need. Knowing what your tally is before you commit to buy also frees you to remove at-will and save at length.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Give yourself a monthly allowance
It may seem infantilizing to have an allowance, Leo, but if you imagine yourself as both Eloise at the Plaza and your own well-meaning patron, then an allowance can help you take control, curb impulse purchases, and save for what will truly serve you. Give yourself an envelope of cash, and when it’s empty, you’re cut off. High drama, delusions of grandeur, and total control — a fiscal wet dream for Leos if ever there was one.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
DIY
Ruled by Mercury and driven by mastery, Virgo folk are more primed than any other sign to learn a skill rather than hire a hand. From a YouTube tutorial on spark plug replacement to ones on how to mend your own clothes, tile your own bathroom, and build your own bird feeders, where there’s a will there’s a way…and a website that will show you how.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Check in with someone before you spend a large amount of money
As the sign of partnership, Libra, you can lean into your instinct to share and exchange and create an accountability plan for savings. Find a fiscal friend (or partner) and agree that you will check in with them before you spend anything over a certain dollar amount, say $100. Libras are conflict-averse, so the mere thought of such a check-in might be enough to deter you from shelling out the cash.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Stick to 50/15/5
Divide and conquer is the name of the game for Scorpios looking to save. Many financial experts recommend a simple strategy for allotting your income and budgeting your way to freedom: Spend 50% of your after-tax cash on necessities, put 15% into savings, and save 5% for emergencies. The remaining 30% can be spent on travel, blackout curtains, leather goods, professional hexes, and other fun stuff.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Stay for free or get paid to house-sit
As the sign of skyward arrows and the open road, you like to go, Sagittarius. You can get your travel jollies and still stick to your budget by securing a house-sitting or pet-sitting job in the US or abroad. This thrifty setup allows you to travel on the cheap, go farther, and stay for longer periods. Minding a country cottage in the Cotswolds or a Great Dane in Dubrovnik? Why the hell not? Check out TrustedHousesitters, Housecarers, or Nomador to get vetted and well on your way to jet set.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Buy high-end secondhand items
Capricorn folk like the finer things, believing in buying the good stuff once and making it last. Cheers to longevity, but you sea goats could double down and save twice by shopping secondhand and pre-loved. Whether it’s refurbished electronics or vintage cashmere, you can save without having to sacrifice.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Install a rain barrel
As a sign symbolized by the mythical water bearer, there is perhaps no more apropos money-saving hack for Aquarius than a rain barrel. Easy to DIY, a rain barrel is eco-friendly, saves on the water bill, and may make you eligible for tax incentives. For those living in apartments or dry climates, consider using a bucket in the shower to collect the cold water that runs while it’s heating up. You can use this to water plants or wash dishes. Additionally, showering with your partner cuts down on costs while increasing intimacy, a clear win-win.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Follow frugal folks on social media
As mutable water, Pisces, it is easy for you to absorb and be influenced by the energy and intentions of those around you. Use this inborn psychic sponge to your advantage by filling your feed with people who stress a “save more, spend less” ethos and who encourage you to pay off debt and take control. Pro tip: Remove accounts that make you want to book air travel, buy into a diuretic smoothie routine, or adopt a purebred lap dog.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
