Celebrities put their best bikinis — and boardshorts — forward this summer as they sunned, swam and swanned around hot spots from South Beach to St. Barts and Martha’s Vineyard to Mykonos. The rest of us were left admiring their figures on social media while we sweated it out getting to work during mass transit’s Summer of Hell.
But while celebs such as J.Lo and Halle Berry basked in beach glory, others committed fashion crimes in paradise — from Darren Criss’ ill-advised banana hammock to Lindsay Lohan’s beach-burka experiment.
Here is Page Six’s Best of Summer Beach Bodies.
Best beach body over 50: Elizabeth Hurley
Liz Hurley is 52, and her Instagram account looks like a one-woman Swimsuit Issue. She just gets better with age, while ex Hugh Grant is still regretting that drive down Sunset.
Runners-up
Christie Brinkley, 63, appeared in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and outshined her daughters.
Cindy Crawford, 51, said, “I don’t need everyone on Instagram pointing out that I don’t look the same way I did when I was 20.” Fine, she looks the same as when she was 25.
Yolanda Hadid, 53, has good genes, handing them down to her model daughters, Bella and Gigi.
Kris Jenner, 61, can still give her daughters (and her ex-husband, for that matter) a run for their money.
Halle Berry, 51, has quipped, “Gravity says, ‘I’m coming, and I’m coming to get you.’ ” But she keeps defying the laws of physics.
Best female beach body overall: Gabrielle Union
We were bowled over by the pictures of the actress, 44, on vacation in Mykonos, Greece, this week with her husband, NBA star Dwyane Wade.
Runners-up
Top contenders for the title include born-to-be-in-a-bikini Brazilian supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, Heidi Klum, curvy Sports Illustrated Swimsuit star Ashley Graham, Kate Upton and Chrissy Teigen.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BWOSMZrgrEk/Best beach body over 40: Naomi Campbell
The British supermodel has reigned on top of the fashion world for 30 years, thanks to her astonishingly ageless physique. At 47, she makes us think that supermodels may actually have special powers. Campbell’s seems to be the power to defy gravity.
Runners-up
At 47, Gwen Stefani’s body is the product of either careful diet and a rigorous training program, or witchcraft.
The evangelical clean living of Gwyneth Paltrow, 44, may attract the ire of mere mortals — but boy, does it work.
Kate Beckinsale’s 18-year-old daughter Lily has been making waves with her Instagram bikini shots this summer. But for our money, her 44-year-old mom is still the real bombshell.
Jennifer Lopez. J-Rod’s loved-up workout Instagram posts might inspire envy — but that doesn’t mean they don’t work.
Kelly Bensimon says she feels “sexiest at 49.” We agree.
Sofía Vergara: Apparently she feels overdressed in a bikini, posing nude for Women’s Health to celebrate her 45th birthday.
Best male beach body overall: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
The Rock has a unique brand of sexiness: He looks like he could smash something and then sing you a song from “Moana.” Even though “Baywatch” wiped out at the box office, the “Ballers” star has an enviable 12-pack.
Runners-up
Soccer legend Cristiano Ronaldo pulls off the remarkable feat of having the oiled-up physique of a Greek god, even after having three children.
Scott Eastwood: Young. Hot. Wealthy. Hollywood dynasty. Abs. Nothing more to be said.
Worst swimsuit selection of the summer: Lindsay Lohan
We’ve got nothing against the “Burkini,” except that La Lohan attempted to do a sexy photo shoot in Thailand wearing one, and spectacularly failed.
Runners-up
We’re not sure if Italian millionaire Gianluca Vacchi is keen to show off his tattoos or something else. The motor-home mogul-turned-DJ, worth more than $400 million, has racked up 11.2 million Instagram followers.
Darren Criss donned some saggy red budgie smugglers while filming “American Crime Story: Versace.” He plays the killer, but his banana hammock is the bigger crime.
Andrea Bocelli was seen windsurfing in a tiny Speedo. But, given that he is blind, and able to windsurf, why should he give a falsetto about how he looks?
Beached Whale Award: Chris Christie
The New Jersey governor went man-spreading on a beach that was closed because of a government shutdown, testing the limits of both public patience and the elastic on his swim shorts.
Tell us who you think won Summer 2017: