They say caviar black comedy “The Party” has “killer one-liners” and a “brilliant cast” of Cherry Jones, Kristin Scott Thomas, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson.
Kristin didn’t show. Cherry was home sick. Patricia showed in more feathers than a partridge. “I own this. It was in my closet. I bought it myself.” She’s size 2. A live partridge couldn’t look this good.
“I play a brutal truth-telling viper. There’s a scene where Kristin’s giving a party to celebrate her new position in the British government. I, her dearest friend, pick this time to tell her the truth. About her life. And that she must stop with the tweeds and blouses. And if she wants to run Britain, she has to change her hair.”
Mortimer. “I play Jinny. A chef. Cherry Jones is my wife. We’re invited to this dinner party to celebrate Kristin becoming a health minister. Meantime, I’m pregnant. And with triplets. And I vomit in the loo.”
Nice.
Also there — but just to see the movie — Golden Globe winner and Oscar and Tony nominee Kathleen Turner, who said in that famous trademark husky voice: “Forty years ago they asked me to sing. I said I don’t sing. I act.
“Now, 40 years later, I’m singing. I just did Philly and San Francisco. I’m set May 22 to June 2 for the Carlyle. April 17 to May 6, I’m already booked in London’s Other Palace. Not the one the queen lives in. The theater.
“They said they want me to add stories to tell so now I’m working on anecdotes.”
Please try to pay attention
Assorted stuff I’m hearing or knowing or repeating: Smashing Pumpkin Billy Corgan did NYC’s UES Beach Cafe, which has 150 American flags. His patriotic cap was red, white and blue . . . The late Rep. Mario Biaggi’s Fordham law grandkid Alessandra Biaggi running for Westchester’s 34th State District seat.
What’s so great about her?
“I’m feisty, fiery, and it’s hard to beat someone who doesn’t give up,” she says . . . From a fotog: His Eminence Cardinal Dolan doesn’t love posing for photos. Or even like to look at the camera . . . FROM a lawyer: Both Harvey and brother Bob Weinstein quick-changed from office schloompies to a better shirt and pants to go out — but never stopped to wash, shave, hit the john or brush the teeth. Just changed shmattas.
It’s mumbled Ronan Farrow’s locked onto another magazine piece. Supposedly it’s into fact-checking. Another male name we know. Involved in the media.
Mission impossible
In “Annihilation,” Jennifer Jason Leigh leads Natalie Portman on a “suicide mission” into what’s called the Shimmer.
A character says “self-destructive tendencies blow up our own lives.” Musical comedy, this isn’t.
Could Portman explain the movie, maybe? Not so much.
And Jennifer: “Natalie’s work has a subterranean quality.” Find a Rosetta Stone and see it.
Opening’s the 23rd.
V-Day origins
Before Angie and Brad and their whole tribe, before Darren Aronofsky woo’d Rachel Weisz (now Mrs. Daniel Craig) on bent knee, before Justin and Selena grabbed headlines and one another again, even before Roseanne Barr told her security guard he’s her next husband after Tom Arnold and he supposedly replied: “I’ll buy a tux for that” — Valentine’s Day was born.
It began in Century 3, when some cranky emperor killed two guys named Valentine. That’s even before foxy Katie Holmes found Jamie Foxx.
Just letting you know.
Guards are monitoring everything around El Chapo.
One inmate’s relative brought a roast chicken, and suspicious guards heard the prisoner mumble to its wings: “Can you hear me now . . . can you hear me now?”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.