The Actors Fund. Between honorees Warren Beatty, Kenny Leon, Chita, Uma, Broadway’s offstage bitchery even beat whatever’s onstage.
Like: “Despite four hours in ‘The Iceman Cometh’ Denzel got no Outer Critics Circle or Drama Desk nomination.
“It’s because we all know Glenda [Jackson] wins the Tony for ‘Three Tall Women’ and Andrew Garfield for ‘Angels in America.’ ”
And: “The Tonys June 10 will be worst ever. Besides Springsteen, no big names.”
And: “Certain advance awards didn’t cite any new musical. They only gave ‘Harry Potter’ one prize and for technical reasons.”
“Angels in America” producer Jordan Roth wore a rhinestone neon jacket. “Saint Laurent,” he said. Please. Even Martians with macular degeneration could see it wasn’t a Macy’s knockoff.
“Mean Girls” was Tony nominated. Is its Miss Barrett Wilbert Weed — whose name could barely fit on a marquee — excited? “We hop a bus, go to the theater, get off the bus, do our stuff and get back on the bus. Never even see the awards.”
Andrew Garfield: “Opening night my parents and close friends were in the audience. This wasn’t just another production. The story’s of a most profound period in the history of the United States. I was nervous. It was nearly overwhelming. Look, I’m always nervous at such moments, but I’d say this time it was in a reverential way.”
Multi-honored “Children of a Lesser God” director Leon: “Just being on Broadway is a gift. I only know that so far this season I’ve been to at least nine awards events.”
Lauren Ridloff, the Tony-nominated deaf lead in “Children of a Lesser God,” is superskinny. So what’s she consume for food? Following along with her sign language, her interpreter, Candice, replied: “Pho. Vietnamese noodle soup.” If Lauren wins the Antoinette Perry statuette, Candice, who will be with her, will be her voice.
Honoree Rivera: “I’m now a University of Florida Doctor of Arts. I’m getting the Tonys’ special Lifetime Achievement Award. I’m doing a solo concert in January at 54 Below.”
Bebe Neuwirth: “In March, I also just worked 54 Below. The place has the best lighting, best sound, best personnel, best people, best wait staff. I’m returning in August.”
Director Barry Levinson’s “Paterno,” starring Al Pacino, was just on HBO and he himself has an Oscar, three Emmys and another crate of trophies. His thoughts on the Tonys? “I’ve never been to the Tonys.”
Not every stage personality’s familiar. One camera guy repeatedly photographed a pair of actresses I didn’t recognize. As he snapped and resnapped them, I asked, “Who are they?” His answer: “No idea.”
Please pay attention
Commedienne Marilyn Michaels’ anti-cookbook newie “How Not To Cook, for the Rest of Your Life” is part scrimp-’n’-save philosophy, part stuff on working with Woody, Liza, Trump, Cosby, Streisand, Burt Reynolds, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Ed Sullivan, Orson Welles, Debbie Reynolds, Carrie Fisher and a partridge in a pear tree. Available on Amazon.com . . . Cannes. In airport hangar No. 16, a Picasso, a Dalí and for 90,000 euros some 1987 Naomi Campbell photograph posing in some shmatta got auctioned. Carla Bruni and Bella Hadid, excited about this whole thing, wanted a photo taken of them together. Nobody bid on it.
Some schloomp sent me the difference between “erotic” and “kinky.”
Erotic is “one time while watching Judge Judy.”
Kinky is “one time with Judge Judy.”
Only to some New Yorker, kids, only to some New Yorker.