Remember “Give My Regards to Broadway?” “Take Me Out to the Ballgame?” “The Sidewalks of New York?” “Take the A Train?”
Try “I Love New York.” “New York State of Mind.” How about “New York, New York, a helluva town?”
The question is, how do you restart New York?
The answer is, Andrew Cuomo.
Last week the governor got on the horn. A call to industry’s major players — a nice little group who consider Fort Knox pocket change — and who make this greatest town in the whole effing world different from, let’s say that great, big, large tourist trap, Whitefish, Mont.
It was a reach-out. A beginning. A pack answered our governor’s call to solicit opinions. Submit ideas on how to reopen NYC. Restart our economy.
It was a whole collection of names and industries. Like the hotel group. Like the museum group repping places such as MoMA, Natural History Museum. The Broadway group included Scott Rudin, Jimmy Nederlander. Movies: Tribeca Film Festival’s Jane Rosenthal. TV: CNN’s Jeff Zucker. Networks: Bob Bakish. Sports: Yankees’ Hal Steinbrenner, Randy Levine, MSG’s Jimmy Dolan, Brooklyn Nets’ Joseph Tsai, NFL and MLB commissioners.
The calls were to trigger a comeback process. The beginnings of a think tank.
Plus, there’s a finance group. Blackstone’s Bill Mulrow and MacAndrews & Forbes’ Steven M. Cohen unveil their strategy at tomorrow’s meeting of the Association for a Better New York.
I’m so grateful
My thanks to the president tweeting how I still look like I’m only 39. But after inhaling all those birthday cakes, that’s now the size of my waist. Just walking on a boulevard, I could make it a one-way street. Hair not done in eight weeks, fake eyelashes gone, toenails the length of chopsticks, I’d put Rip Van Winkle back to sleep.
Because I couldn’t throw a party, I thank Fox-TV’s Rosanna Scotto for her piece on me. I thank Steve Cuozzo for his double-page New York Post story on me. I thank Town & Country’s May issue asking if I’m home swanning in Chanel, which I read while awaiting takeout in a raggy sweater awaiting throw-out.
Everyone, realizing I was born when Betsy Ross was sewing something, was gracious. I told Cardinal Dolan, “When your Fifth Avenue candy store reopens, you can throw me a belated blessing.” And I thank the hundred who rang, from Sen. Chuck Schumer to Comptroller Scott Stringer to a first call in 10 years from Dan Rather, who said: “If you ever need bail money, you can call on me.”
Listen, here’s what I’m hearing
Meanwhile, be it known the coronavirus stimulus bill isn’t all that’s getting hairy these days. While huffing and puffing in quarantine, bluffing Jerry Nadler’s grown a full beard. I only mention this because I knew you’d want to know … Also meanwhile, you may have read that Matt Damon’s quarantining on Ireland’s Amalfi Coast. Gated community. Pricy neighborhood. Shooting Ridley Scott’s “The Last Duel” drama. He wears a baseball cap. Smiles. Does autographs. Walks around. Is friendly. Breezes by the local pub. Talks to people. They love him there. Almost as much as those neighbors do near his $16.8 million Brooklyn pile.
As our planet struggles against the pandemic, scientists are asked the big question: “How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?”
And the answer is: “Nobody knows, it’s never happened.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.