Sunday’s NYPost pictured the Waldorf unloading baubles from its Duke and Duchess of Windsor’s suite. June ’61, I interviewed a previously divorced nearly royal duchess (pay attention Meghan Sparkle) in this very suite. Here’s a sampling from that newspaper syndicate story.
Wallis Warfield Simpson, duchess: “Everybody should give up the silly belief that His Royal Highness [which Prince Harry is no more] and I are rich. People think we have a great deal of money. Not true. I don’t know how much longer we can come here. The Waldorf gives us a diplomatic discount, but each year it’s more expensive.”
She sat alongside himself’s framed photo in naval uniform (like Harry in his air force threads). On the couch a leopard-skin throw. “It’s ours. We always take it with us. The duke shot it. They used to decorate specially for us, but now we do with the hotel furnishings. We formerly shipped certain furnishings whenever we came here but it was costing too much.”
The six-room suite had three bedrooms plus maid’s quarters, plus sitting room, plus extra space for one male, one female secretary, plus hairdresser. Nice considering she talked poverty and lacked Netflix.
“I prefer being a perfectly ordinary soul. I don’t see why anyone wants to interview us. We hate publicity.” (Former HRH Harry is quoted saying he loves kicking a water ball. Nice. He already knows to kick his country and its queen. Meanwhile, wife Sparkle Plenty’s English money goes for p.r. people to post daily photos of them ladling in soup kitchens.)
Back to the duchess: “I’m not at liberty to discuss the royal family.” (Harry, Sparkle, pay attention.) “But I don’t see why holding a job would be wrong. Suppose the duke sold Cadillacs for a living. Why would that detract from his position?”
This semi-poverty-stricken woman’s secretary — the male one — then ushered me out.
And action action!
Speaking of regal levels of poverty, Tom Cruise, worth give or take a MetroCard $600 million, flew on his own plane to Rome yesterday. It’s where his enchanted wedding to beloved Katie Holmes was. He’s on “Mission: Impossible 8,000,” with more shoot’em-ups … Another bang-bang-shoot’em-up: new “Godfather” movie’s coming. Director: Barry Levinson. Oscar Isaac plays Francis Ford Coppola, Jake Gyllenhaal becomes studio big Robert Evans, all about the making of the ’72 classic.
Blue sky dreams
From a Blue Stater:
“We may split. Forming our own country will benefit new people like from Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, Guam and DC. We then get the major shipping ports, so good luck to Red States getting in goods. Also, we get Costco, Starbucks, Boeing. You, Oklahoma and the South. We, stem cell research, nice beaches, Statue of Liberty. You, Branson, Missouri. Blue States have 85 percent of USA’s venture capital. Red States have Mississippi.
“Blue States control 80 percent of our fresh water, 92 percent fresh fruit, 95 percent of the nation’s cheese, 90 percent high-tech industry, low-sulfur coal, redwoods, sequoias, all Ivy schools. In exchange Red States have 88 percent of obese Americans (and their health care costs), 92 percent of mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of tornadoes and hurricanes, plus 100 percent of all televangelists. Also 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you have higher morals than we lefties. (Forget that part about divorces.)
“In addition, we get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.”
Comes now the following message from the White House Social Office. Subject:”Postponed. Message: The reception celebrating the Rose Garden sculpture unveiling scheduled for Friday, October 9, 2020 at 6:00 p.m. has been postponed until further notice.”
Then: We apologize for the inconvenience.”
Yes, given the host and hostess’ circumstances, I think we understand.
Only in the capital, kids, only in the capital.