13-Year-Old Hangs Herself, But Bullying Killed Her

YUCAIPA, CA — Freddie and Charlene Avila moved their children away from Pasadena, California, more than four years ago to keep them safe from the stray bullets of gang wars. But 70 miles away in relatively calm Yucaipa they faced an “unseen danger” — bullies at 13-year-old Rosalie Avila’s middle school — that would change their family forever.

Rosalie was an aspiring lawyer, talented artist and straight-A student, said her father, who described his daughter as "beautiful, bright, wonderful and funny."

A week ago, though, Rosalie’s brother picked a lock on the door of her bedroom and discovered his sister had hanged herself. She left behind a note: “Sorry, Mom and Dad. I love you. …” In another, she apologized to her mother. “Sorry, Mom,” it read, “that you’re going to find me like this.”

She had been on life support in the days following the family's horrific discovery.

“We thought we were doing right,” the father, Freddie Avila, told Patch Monday, hours before his daughter’s organs were harvested, something he said Rosalie would have liked. “There are no gangs and not a lot of drugs here. If it wasn’t for the bullies, we would be living happily ever after.”

Moving from Pasadena took Rosalie out of the range of random bullets, but she became a target for meanness and cruelty that went beyond common playground taunts. As is often the case with bullied children, social media intensified the torment.

A study by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests the growing use of social media among teens can have deadly consequences. Researchers have linked the increase in the time adolescents spend on computers and cell phones — and, specifically, on social media — with a startling increase in the rate of adolescents ending their lives.

The study found teen suicides increased more than 30 percent overall from 2010 to 2015, when the study ended. For girls, the increase soared by 65 percent.

Causes for mental health issues are difficult to determine with precision when considering large segments of society. But the research, published in November in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, was clear on this: the more exposure adolescents had to electronic devices and social media, the more likely they were to suffer serious depression, attempt suicide or actually take their lives.

In 2010, about 5.4 adolescents per 100,000 killed themselves; by 2015, the number rose to more than 7 per 100,000. (Depression increased from about 16 percent of teens to more than 21 percent; suicide attempts or plans increased from almost 32 percent to more than 34 percent.)

That's for all kids, not just those subjected to constant online bullying like the kind Rosalie endured.

For generations, kids with braces on their teeth have been favorite targets for teasing. A picture of Rosalie at a happy time shows her smiling so wide she seems to be displaying her mouth full of wire. But the teasing went well beyond "brace face!" and other relatively harmless taunts when a boy recorded a video of her on his smartphone and posted the footage on social media. The caption: “Here’s an ugly girl.”

“She was really hurt over that video,” Avila recalled. “We talked, and I said, ‘Honey, don’t worry, they’re just stupid kids.”

Staying offline would provide no escape.

“They called her a ‘wannabe’ and said she tried to fit in too hard,” he said. “I bought her nice clothes, and they said they were fake. They said her shoes were fake and that she bought them from a swap meet. They said she was poor, and she needed to kill herself. They said she was ugly.

“What a horrible thing to say: You’re ugly, kill yourself,” he said, repeating the taunt as if to convince himself that some kid had actually said that.

Avila said he knew his daughter had been tormented and said she had been “a little distant,” spending a lot of time in her room since Halloween. She had begun cutting herself, so he got her counseling. The therapist dismissed the girl despite her fathers's plea that the sessions continue.

Still, he didn't think she'd kill herself.

“She was a tender reed,” Avila said, his voice cracking. “I thought she could handle this.”

His daughter wasn’t the only one at Mesa View Middle School who was bullied, said Avila, who doesn’t think the school district did enough to stop the mistreatment.

The Yucaipa-Calimesa Joint Unified School District declined to comment, citing an ongoing police investigation, but said in a statement that school officials are working closely with San Bernardino County police who are looking into the allegations of bullying. Anyone with information should call Detective Mike Madril at (909) 918-2305.

“Sadly, as the public learns about this tragedy, false rumors and social media posts disrespecting Rosalie and her family have begun to spread,” the district said. “These posts are being handled by the appropriate authority.”

Even as the investigation continues, the girl's tormenters have remained relentless. They have turned their wrath on the people mourning her. After Rosalie's death, the family received a meme on social media that showed photos of Rosalie. “Hey mom. Next time don’t tuck me in this," it said with an arrow pointing to a bed. "Tuck me in THIS.” The all-caps THIS was accompanied by a second arrow pointing to a picture of a grave.

At a vigil Friday, the day Rosalie was pronounced dead, two kids were escorted away by police, Avila said. One was the boy who had posted the video calling her “the ugly girl”; the other had said, “Oh, I am glad she’s dead. Who cares that she’s dead?”

One student told the father, “they really were mean to your daughter.” A couple of others said the same.

Something happened a week ago that pushed Rosalie to suicide, her dad said. He’s not sure what it was, but he's determined to find justice for her.

“This needs to stop,” Avila said. “The most horrible thing for any father is to bury his daughter.”

To those who bullied Rosalie, the grieving father says this:

“You put my daughter where she’s at today with your hatred and attacks.”

Avila said he forgives them, because that’s what the Bible says he should do. But as the Avilas prepare to bury their daughter, they’re not going to go away silently.

“They messed with the wrong family,” Avila said. “I don’t believe in violence, but I do believe in pursuing what’s right.”

The Avilas hope to set up a nonprofit group in Rosalie’s name to help kids learn how to speak out in the face of torment.

“My goal is there will be no more ‘Rosalie Avila dead at 13’ type headlines,” he said.

The family has established a GoFundMe account to offset medical and funeral expenses. More than $47,000 had been raised by Tuesday.

Watch Now: Bullied California Teen Hangs Herself

Photo courtesy of the Avila family.