Community Corner
1 Year Later, Mallory Grossman Lives On In Anti-Bullying Efforts
Mallory Grossman's suicide death a year ago today has sparked a massive anti-bullying movement, spearheaded by her mother.
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ROCKAWAY, NJ — A year ago today, June 14, 2017, started off as a tough day for the Grossman family. Mom Dianne had a meeting with administrators at Copeland Middle School to discuss the bullying her 12-year-old daughter Mallory was facing.
The meeting didn’t go well, and the fact that it happened at all angered Mallory, who was worried the bullies would view her as a "tattle tale" and would retaliate.
"You just made it worse," Grossman says Mallory told her after school that day. "You don't get it, you just made it worse."
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Grossman says she tried to comfort Mallory at home by making her a favorite meal for dinner, Chef BoyRDee Spaghetti with meatballs. It would be Mallory's last.
"She sat quietly eating. Refusing to have useless chatter with me... Mom talk, I call it. The making conversations hoping they will open up ... I reassured her it was over..." Grossman writes.
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Grossman says she lay with Mallory in her bed after dinner for one last time, telling her it would be alright, before leaving to take her older daughter into Manhattan for a mommy-daughter night.
Three hours later, husband Seth called her, she said, to deliver the news of what happened. By the time Grossman made it back to Rockaway, Mallory was gone.
On June 14, 2017, Mallory took her own life. She was just 12 years old.
Despite the devastation of losing her daughter, Grossman has channeled the pain into advocacy work, allowing Mallory's suicide death to spark a movement. In the year since, Dianne Grossman has started Mallory's Army, a non-profit dedicated to bullying prevention and kindness, and, alongside Seth, has filed a lawsuit against the Rockaway School district for their handling of the bullying.
Although that lawsuit is still winding its way through the courts, Grossman's tireless anti-bullying efforts with Mallory's Army have gone full force ahead. The organization began to take form in the summer after her death, with the establishment of the Mallory's Army Facebook page as a way to remember Mallory, and for other parents of bullied children to share their stories.
"Over the last year... I’ve seen and heard from so many 'Like Mal.' I push forward everyday... to help the 'like Mal' children ... our daughter died by suicide... but yours doesn’t have to ... if you just listen..." Grossman wrote on the anniversary of her daughter's death.
Since August 2017, Grossman has worked to establish Mallory's Army as a 501(c)3 nonprofit that educates on the dangers of bullying, while also using the Facebook page as an outlet for her grief.
Grossman has taught workshops to educate parents on anti-bullying and harassment rules in place at local schools, and has provided anti-bullying information to parents and educators. The organization has hosted informational booths at local carnivals, spoken in front of the New Jersey State Policeman's PBA, and advocated for more comprehensive anti-bullying laws.
The local community has rallied around the cause, donating over $77,000 to a fundraising efforts, and local businesses, including Jersey Mike's, Harley Davidson, and a State Police PBA, have sponsored fundraisers. In December, the organization was honored with a ceremonial resolution from the New Jersey State Assembly.
It's not just Morris County that has connected to Mallory's story. Grossman has appeared on national television shows, including with Megyn Kelly, and the cause has earned the support of famous rock star Dee Snider and former Giants football player Lee Rouson. Parents from around the country have shared their stories of bullying with Grossman.
The organization has had an active online presence, with Grossman and family friend Katee Reddin Petro providing a steady stream of updates on the organization's efforts, in addition to emotional posts looking back on the events that lead to Mallory's death, as well as the things they loved about her.
"All I can do is remember Mallory. That’s what we have left, memories and personal items to remind us of our memories with her," Grossman wrote.
Memories of Mallory range from the mundane, things like driving her to cheerleading practice, attending birthday parties or hanging out in the pool, to the reflective and somber, like Mallory’s final moments, the last photo mother and daughter took together, or the struggle of meeting with school officials. But the posts all illustrate the same painful point: Mallory was here. She was alive. And now, because of the bullying she faced, she’s gone.
In August 2017, the family announced their intent to file suit against the district, but were required by law to wait for six months before actually filing the suit. At the time, the family said they also intended to name the alleged bullies and their parents in the suit.
Bruce Nagal, the attorney representing the family, confirmed to Patch they are proceeding with the lawsuit, but declined to elaborate further on Thursday. He said more information about the lawsuit would be released on Monday.
The Rockaway school district did not return multiple requests for comment. The law firm that issued a statement on behalf of the district last August said they were not longer representing the school, and did not know the status of the lawsuit.
The district last issued a statement in August 2017, calling the claims that they ignored bullying against Mallory "categorically false."
Peter DiGennaro, a spokesperson for the Morris County Prosecutor's Office, confirmed that the death remained under investigation, but declined to comment further, citing privacy issues.
To mark her death, the family will privately release twelve butterflies in their backyard. For those who wish to remember Mallory together, a candlelight walk will be held at the Parks Lake Gazebo in Rockaway at 7:30 p.m. The family will not be in attendance.
Read More:
- Candlelight Walk On 1st Anniversary of Mallory Grossman's Death
- Mom Shares 'Last Selfie' Taken With Mallory Grossman Before Death
- Bullying Against Mallory Grossman Wasn't Ignored, Rockaway School Officials Say
- Mallory Grossman's Family Sues Rockaway Schools Over Bullying That Led To Suicide
- Mother Of Rockaway 12-Year-Old Who Died Complained To School About Bullying
- 'Mallory's Army' Fights Back Against Bullying After 12-Year-Old's Sudden Death
- Rockaway 6th Grader Who Passed Away Remembered As Charitable And Outdoorsy
- Community Donates $64K To Family Of Rockaway Middle Schooler Who Died Last Week
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.
Image via GoFundMe, a Patch promotional partner, background image via Shutterstock
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