Everything We Know About 'Selling Sunset' Star Amanza Smith's Missing Ex-Husband, Ralph Brown

Selling Sunset star Amanza Smith had to share her family's trauma with the world when she learned that her ex-husband, former NFL player Ralph Brown, went missing in August 2019 while she was filming the Netflix show's second season.

With cameras following her at all hours of the day for more than seven months, Smith said there was no way she could hide such a big part of her life. Brown's disappearance became a storyline on the hit reality series as the interior designer–turned–real estate agent began fighting for full custody of their two children, daughter Noah and son Braker.

Brown’s whereabouts are still unknown, and Smith still has no idea where he might be. Over the years, she has shared several updates on the situation — and how she and her family are coping. Here's everything we know about Brown before and after his disappearance.

His marriage to Smith was short-lived

Brown, who played football for the University of Nebraska and was a fifth-round draft pick for the New York Giants in 2000 before retiring in 2009, married Smith on July 17, 2010. They called it quits after just two years together, divorcing in 2012. Their daughter, Noah, was born prior to the wedding and was in attendance at the Indianapolis nuptials. Their son, Braker, was born a year later, in 2011.

Brown and Smith initially shared 50/50 custody of their two kids

Smith has revealed that, before Brown’s disappearance, she and the former athlete shared equal custody of the kids for the eight years since their divorce, with the kids spending half the week with him and half with her.

In October 2021, two years after Brown went missing, Smith was awarded full custody of their two children. The ruling, handed down in a Los Angeles courthouse, resulted in Smith obtaining sole legal and physical custody of Noah and Braker. Brown would also not have visitation rights, according to court documents.

"I'm relieved that this long process is over,” Smith told PEOPLE in a statement. “It's been incredibly hard on me and especially the children.”

She continued: "We will never be 'over' the absence of their father, but hopefully we can move forward in a more positive way now that we are unhindered by the legal obstacles that prevented me from making the decisions that are best for us as a family of three."

He was allegedly unable to pay child support

On the Oct. 6, 2020, episode of Dear Media’s Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, Smith told host Amanda Hirsch that Brown "paid child support for a year and a half" after their divorce "and then stopped."

"He wasn't in a place where he could give me support, because after he retired from the NFL, he blew through his money. It's a typical story," she explained, noting that actor Taye Diggs — whom she later dated for nearly five years — helped financially support her family while they were together.

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He was a very involved father prior to his disappearance

"He was a great father when he was around. He was a very loyal, hands-on, dedicated, interactive father," Smith said of Brown on Not Skinny But Not Fat, explaining that he was always punctual and taught the kids to be well-mannered.

He was last seen with the kids in August 2019

In August 2020, Smith told E! News the last time Brown was seen was on Aug. 26, 2019, when he dropped the kids off at their school in Los Angeles.

On Not Skinny But Not Fat, Smith recalled the last time she heard from him was a few days later, on Sept. 1, 2019. "He sent me an email, and he said, 'My situation isn't good right now. I can't financially take care of the children. It's not safe for them to be with me. You need to keep them until my situation changes,' " she remembered Brown telling her.

His friends and former teammates haven’t heard from him either

Smith told Entertainment Tonight in August 2020 that she's had many people in Brown's life contact her to see if she has any idea where he is. "I've had at least 20 of his ex-NFL teammates reach out to me saying, 'Hey, have you heard from him? Do you know what's going on?’ ” she shared.

"His best friend of 20 years has no idea," she continued. "He's alive somewhere because otherwise, we would know. There are so many people actively trying and there's just no answer."

His family members will not respond to Smith — and have blocked her

Smith has said Brown’s family, however, has actively avoided her.

On Not Skinny But Not Fat, Smith told Hirsch that Brown's family is as unresponsive as he is, despite her attempts to contact them by phone, email and text message. "Anytime I reach out to anyone, I get blocked," she shared, adding that the lack of communication has been “especially traumatic for the family” because the kids were "very close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles.”

“I've had to pick up the pieces and mend little broken hearts," she said.

He tried to change his address with the courts

"At one point he submitted something to the courts where he did a change of address," Smith told Hirsch. She took this as evidence of Brown still being alive and simply trying to live under the radar. "We traced it back, and it's a P.O. Box at like, a UPS store," she said.

He is not technically considered a missing person

Smith has said that she filed a missing person's report after two months of not hearing from Brown but was told it could not be accepted because of the email he sent her on Sept. 1.

"I was redirected to an investigator in [the Glendale police] office, but after reviewing my case they came back to me stating that he was not a missing person because there was no sign of foul play — and he had also sent me an email telling me that it was 'not safe for the children to be with him right now,' and I would need to keep them until his situation changed," she told E! News in August 2020.

Smith also hired a private investigator at one point but said "they never got a visual" on his whereabouts.

Smith has considered that he may be suffering from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE)

When discussing what she thinks may have led to Brown’s disappearance, Smith told Entertainment Tonight in August 2020 that she's debated whether his football injuries — specifically CTE, a brain condition associated with repeated trauma to the head — may have something to do with it.

"In my mind, it's like, okay, if he's had some sort of mental breakdown or — he played in the NFL for 11 years, I have to wonder if maybe it's CTE," she said, adding, "Those are real [issues]."

According to the Alzheimer's Association, CTE is "associated with the development of dementia" and potential signs of CTE are problems with thinking and memory; personality changes; and behavioral changes, including aggression and depression. These symptoms often don't present until many years after brain injuries occur.

He was still around when Smith began filming Selling Sunset

Smith told Entertainment Tonight in August 2020 that Brown disappeared about two weeks into filming season 2 of Selling Sunset.

"We filmed for seven and a half months, when he was still nowhere to be found," she said. "This is a huge part of my life and I have cameras following me 24/7. You can't hide."

Smith has been a cast member on Selling Sunset since season 2. The show's sixth season premiered in May 2023.