How to Watch It Ends With Us as a Domestic Violence Survivor

For survivors of domestic violence, watching Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni’s latest film It Ends With Us may be challenging.

Based on Colleen Hoover's bestselling 2016 novel, both the book and movie version of It Ends With Us follows Lily Bloom as she embarks on a romance with Ryle. However, over time, Ryle’s violent side emerges and he emotionally, sexually and physically abuses her.

As the movie hits theaters, the National Domestic Violence Hotline spoke to PEOPLE about how the film may be triggering and offered tips for how watching it.

Survivors can keep themselves safe by first recognizing the signs of secondary trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This includes elevated heart rate, difficulty breathing, difficulty focusing, feelings of hopelessness, negative feelings towards yourself or others, and memories or flashbacks of abuse you may have experienced or seen. 

“Hearing stories of domestic violence on the news or seeing violence depicted can be incredibly upsetting. Sometimes these events can cause a reaction that we are unable to understand or identify,” the organization says. “It can be scary when you have those types of experiences. That’s why it is important to have self-care practices that you can do to help soothe yourself.”

Self-care looks different for everyone. Although it’s important for survivors to figure out what practices work best for them, the National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests a few that can be beneficial.

One practice includes minimizing triggers. “In our fast-paced world, stories of abuse and triggering photos can sometimes come out of nowhere,” the organization explains. “One thing that can help prevent these triggering moments is limiting the information that you see.” 

They suggest changing the channel when domestic violence is covered on the news. Also, using the “mute” option on social media for words or phrases to remove content that is violent or abusive from your feed.

Another suggestion is trying grounding exercises, which can be important in helping a survivor remind themselves that they are in a safe environment.

“Oftentimes when we are triggered by traumatic content, the emotions or memories that come up can be overwhelming. They can take us back to a time when we experienced abuse ourselves, or to a time when we saw abuse firsthand. These flashbacks can be incredibly realistic and can still cause a lot of emotional pain. Using grounding exercises can be a helpful way to bring yourself back to the present moment where you are safer and in a better place.”

A third tip is to simply take a break and do something different. The change in pace can be a good way to navigate stress and allow you to focus on something other than the trauma. This can include going for a walk, doing a centering meditation, creating art through drawing or coloring, or doing some form of physical activity, the organization says.

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Additionally, for those who are going to watch the film, the National Domestic Violence Hotline encourages survivors to talk to someone and get support.

“No matter where it happens, triggers of abuse and domestic violence can be overwhelming,” they stress. “You may have a trusted family member or friend that you can talk to, or perhaps you have been involved in a support group for victims and survivors of domestic violence.” 

Because they recognize the challenges that may arise when seeking professional help due to socioeconomic status or organizations that may lack cultural competency, the National Domestic Violence Hotline says they offer 24/7 support from advocates who can discuss the best self-care practices and more.

“You can call at 1.800.799.7233, chat with us at thehotline.org, or text “Start” to 88788 to speak with our advocates,” the organization adds. “You are not alone.”

Because It Ends With Us tackles dark subjects, Baldoni — who portrays Ryle and also directs the film — said it was important for him to partner with No More, a foundation that is dedicated to ending domestic and sexual violence. He said he wants to create change and create a safer world through compassion and empathy. 

“The last thing I wanted to do was have a male gaze penetrate these very important moments that need to be told in a truthful way, to represent all of the women that experience them every day,” Baldoni told CBS. “We need to end the cycle.”

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.