Whitney Port Tears Up as She Says She's 'Not Ready' to Discuss Having Another Baby After Miscarriage

Whitney Port is sharing her feelings about having another baby after suffering a miscarriage.

In an emotional, raw audio diary unveiled on Tuesday's episode of her Dear Media podcast With Whit, the 36-year-old discusses how she was feeling after finding out she had lost the baby and her thoughts on wanting to try again to expand her family.

The fashion designer revealed she and husband Tim Rosenman suffered a pregnancy loss on Nov. 17, two weeks after announcing she was seven weeks pregnant with "likely another unhealthy pregnancy." Port has previously suffered two miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy.

"Today, we found out as a final conclusion that the pregnancy was and is not viable. There was no heartbeat. I went to the doctor today by myself, actually. I didn't even think that there was a possibility of bad news. I don't know why," she begins the podcast. "I felt like I was feeling super hopeful from hearing that the baby had doubled in size last week and I just felt like it was only up from here."

"He looked at the ultrasound and looked at me and raised his eyebrows and just shook his head, and in that moment, I just knew, and it just felt like Groundhog's Day, like, just the feeling of grief is all too familiar."

Port, who also shares 4-year-old Sonny Sanford with Rosenman, says her doctor continued to tell her "it's just a really unlucky set of circumstances" and she should go to a fertility specialist and make healthy embryos should she want another baby.

Subscribe to our new 12-episode weekly podcast, Me Becoming Mom, to hear celebrity moms open up exclusively to PEOPLE about their extraordinary roads to motherhood.

"I'm just obviously going to start going down that journey and not even quite yet, I'm not even really fully ready to have that discussion, even though I know that we want a second kid, because the thought of not having a second kid makes me feel already too regretful and remorseful," Port says.

"But then," she continues, "the thought of having to go through this physical illness and nausea of the first trimester is daunting and scary and taxing. I literally have not been able to do anything. Like I have felt like the laziest person."

The reality TV star also discusses feeling "really depressed because I felt like I was letting everybody down."

"Like, I wasn't being a present mom. I wasn't being a present wife. I wasn't being a present employee and co-worker and partner and that I was just constantly disappointing people," she explains.

"I just don't want to be a mess anymore...You know, it was like, this is it. This is, this is going to be that I've dealt with the two miscarriages. This is going to be the healthy one. I'm not going to have to think about it anymore," she continues later in the episode.

"I'm not going to have to make the decision of like, do I even want to have a second child anymore? Do I want to go through IVF? Do I want to make a child in a lab? I just didn't think I was going to have to answer all those questions and now it just feels like I have a lot of responsibility to make those decisions," she adds through tears.

She says she also "feels guilty for even complaining because I have Sonny" as others out there "haven't even had the opportunity to have one [child]."

As she wraps the episode, Port says she's going to try to "take it day by day and not force anything on myself."

"Be honest about my feelings and not try to hide them, but also try my best to be strong and positive," she adds.

In her YouTube update shared on Nov. 17, Port and Rosenman said that at their latest visit the "doctor didn't hear a heartbeat."

"I went today for the eight [week] and four day ultrasound, and last week the baby had doubled and he heard the heartbeat, and then this week there was no heartbeat," Port tearfully explained, adding that the doctor "said it's done — that when I had that ultrasound that … looked like there was no embryo inside and the yolk sac was thin. That was maybe a sign of it not being healthy from the beginning."

Port shared in July 2019 that she had suffered a miscarriage, and announced that she had another pregnancy loss in January of this year.