'VPR' 's Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney Were Missing 'Intimacy' in Their Marriage Before Split: Source

Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney-Schwartz lost the spark in their relationship, a source tells PEOPLE.

The Vanderpump Rules stars, who announced their split after 12 years together on Tuesday, had been lacking "intimacy" in their relationship "for quite a while," the source says.

"They act like terrific roommates," the insider explained, adding that the reality stars are still "a part of each other's lives" despite the breakup.

But when it came to their future, the source says the pair were looking for different things in their relationship, with Schwartz, 39, seeking "more flexibility with his life" and Maloney, 35, wanting "more of a traditional marriage."

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Schwartz and Maloney got married in 2016, though they did not file the official paperwork until 2019. Rumors of the couple's separation arose earlier in the week after Maloney was spotted on her Instagram without her wedding ring.

Both Schwartz and Maloney confirmed their split in separate Instagram posts on Tuesday. Maloney shared her announcement alongside a collection of photos from the pair's relationship.

"I never thought I would have to make an announcement like this. But I feel it's important that I'm open about my life with you," Maloney wrote. "After 12 years on an adventure through life together Tom and I are ending our marriage. This ending is not met with resentment or animosity, no sides to choose. We have deep admiration for one another that will always remain and we cherish our friendship."

She continued, "Although we may be on different paths we will continue to love and support one another's happiness. Thank you for all the kind words and support."

Schwartz shared a similar message on his Instagram page alongside more photos of the two, writing, "Well this sucks. How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f–in canned Instagram caption. What picture am I supposed to use?"

Schwartz said he is "not quite ready to use the 'D' word" yet because "it's too painful" for him. "Yes my heart aches but I'll be ok," he continued.

"Fully respect Katie's decision and we've had healthy, productive conversations about it. It would be far sadder if she decided to stay with me whilst not happy," Schwartz wrote, adding that "we had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanly possible over the course of our relationship" and that Maloney has "taught me so much about love & being a better partner."

Schwartz added that he doesn't consider his marriage to Maloney "as a failure," though the reality star said it is "hard not to feel like a statistic."

"As sad as I am, still happy to say there is no anger or bitterness. Zero," he wrote before telling Maloney he still has "so much love" for her and her family. "Always & forever you'll be on my heart. On my ass? Maybe not so much."