Glazer’s NFL mailbag: On rookie running backs, freshman coaches and a Jay-organized prank

Jay is back to answer your questions on breakout rookie running backs, what to do if Antonio Brown is on your fantasy team, plus the tale of a Jay-orchestrated prank that involved a fake law firm. Thanks as always for your questions. 

Which rookie running back are you looking at to have a breakout season? —AJ M.

I’ve said it since the offseason: David Montgomery from the Bears. I loved him coming out, just loved him. I think he’s primed to have a really good, productive season in that system and culture. I’ve been hearing great things about him. He’s had a strong start.

Also, the Vikings have a rookie RB named Alexander Mattison who they were all raving about when I stopped by their camp. I mean, to a man, couldn’t stop preaching his gospel. I still think Dalvin Cook will be the man but they were all about Mattison’s talent.

I’ve gotten the sense that Josh McCown coming out of retirement wasn’t on anyone’s radar. Perhaps this is asking you to speculate too much but do you think it was really just a matter of him waiting for a contender to show up knocking on his door? We’ve seen a few of these un-retirements lately. —Michael C.

Actually, when I was in Philadelphia last week, they were talking to me about him. When Nate Sudfeld went down, they were asking about him. What a phenomenal pickup. Great dude. Great leader. If there’s any team that understands the value of a solid veteran backup quarterback, it’s the Philadelphia Eagles. No one appreciates it more than them for obvious reasons.

Jay, how on earth is Cooper Kupp back this soon? —Darwin J.

I wrote about it two or three weeks ago, it’s ridiculous. I think he’s always grinded so hard and he’s always pushed himself so much, his body finally got a chance to rest. With that rest, he was able to respond in a way where he’s faster.  All his test scores, coming out of his breaks, agility, quickness, every test timed better than it was before he tore his ACL. It’s incredible.

Who are the freshman coaches this year who will have the most success? —Joey B.

I don’t know about the most success but I do think the Kliff Kingsbury-Kyler Murray show in Arizona will certainly be a lot of fun to watch one way or the other. I think it’s going to be great. Preseason is like sparring. You put stuff in to work out the kinks, stuff to get into a rhythm, see what works, see what doesn’t work. Don’t put too much into what happens in the preseason at all.

If I have Antonio Brown on my fantasy football team, what the heck do I do? —Quinn R.

There’s no inside analysis on which way the wind is going to blow on one day or another with him. He’s still one of the most talented guys in the NFL if he’s playing and his head is in the game. What do you do with AB? You really want me to predict what you should do with that guy? Call Miss Cleo on that one.

I do hope he’d stay with his teammates regardless of what happens with his grievance. His problem isn’t with his teammates so he shouldn’t let them suffer because of it. Be around your guys.

What are your thoughts on Sam Darnold heading into the season? Have the Jets finally found their quarterback? —Mitchell S.

They certainly have. I loved him last year. He’s a guy who plays really well when things break down. He did that at USC a lot but I expect a lot from him now, especially now that he has Adam Gase there to guide him — Gase is like a little evil genius sometimes with these quarterbacks.

What are the expectations for the 49ers season? —Michael R.

I think that Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch really haven’t had a fair shake yet because of all the injuries. It’s hard to judge anything. Despite Jimmy Garroppolo having a really bad game this week, that’s the first time he’s had any live action in a while, we’ve got to take that with a grain of salt. The guy is accurate, we know he has talent. He has all the intangibles you want, he just hasn’t done it in a while. They’ve got to knock the rust off of him here and hope they can gel. This team has just been decimated by injuries for the last couple of years, it’s still going to take some time.

What do you think has contributed to the decline league-wide of overall offensive line play? —Austin R.

Here’s the problem. The offensive tackles come into the NFL and they’ve never actually been in a huddle or a three-point stance. Bruce Arians once told me that he had to have a separate practice for his offensive line to teach them how to be in a huddle. From pop warner to high school to college, the offensive linemen that come in the league have mostly just looked to the sideline for plays being called in and set in two-point stances.

Some of them don’t even know where to stand in the huddle, guys don’t know where to put their hands, they only know where to run. You’re just taking raw talent for the most part. It’s not like how it used to be, not even close. They have to completely learn how to be an offensive lineman in the NFL.

Jay, I see you’ve been spanning the country on your training camp tour. What was your last stop on your latest leg? I saw you doing laundry in the Falcons equipment room. —Luke R.

Yup, the Falcons. I got one more week though on the road.

I told you in the past I usually can’t tell about a team just being there one day. I don’t know what they’re working on that day. Many of these teams allow me into their team meetings and coaching staff meetings and I still have no idea what the hell they are talking about because I’m not smart enough to understand their terminology. But you can tell energy and man, the Falcons’ pace and their energy stood out. This is the time of camp where everyone wants to get the heck out of there but these guys were just flying around. Now that Dan Quinn is the defensive coordinator as well as the head coach, it just seems like a different energy over there.

Jay, I only come for the prank stories. Have you been involved with any training camp pranks? —Avery M.

Me? I’ve been involved in a ton because I’m extremely immature… and demented…did I say immature yet?

I got Tony Gonzalez really bad/great one year when he was in Kansas City but I cannot report on that in the family-friendly confines of The Athletic.

However, I can’t disappoint you guys so I have one from early in my career. I used my little BFF Michael Strahan to be my cohort on this. The Giants were in the locker room one day having a conversation and Strahan calls me howling laughing, explaining that there was a guy in there who… well, let’s just say he wasn’t splitting atoms any time soon. Strahan said, “We were joking around in the locker room and someone brought up how it’s like if you’re with a girl for more than 12 hours she can take half your stuff.” They turn around and they see this player counting on his fingers how long he was with his girl the night before. He was dead serious.

Oh, that’s magical right there.

I hatch this idea, I write up a letter, a fake letter, from the law offices of Noodleman, Lipshitz & Schwartz (come on, you gotta admit that’s a phenomenal fake name for a law firm) claiming that this player was with a girl for 15 hours the night before and as a result she is entitled to half his belongings and stated for him to please list all his assets, bank information, and accounts so she could garner half of his stuff.

I typed it up, stamped it, made it look official then gave it to Michael to put it in the player’s mailbox at Giants Stadium. In the letter, I put in there that he had to show up to Hackensack Family Court with a date, a time, courtroom number, the whole nine yards. I was going to take it as far as filming him if it worked to the point where he actually showed up to the court house.

According to Strahan and some other players who were watching along, this poor sap goes to his mailbox, took the letter out and opened it up, he reads it, he’s looking at it scratching his head. He shakes his head and puts it away thinking he’s going to court. It was perfect! I had it all set up.

Then…freaking Strahan grows a heart. He let him in on the prank a couple days before the guy could show up to a court date that doesn’t exist. Come on Stray. We gotta see this through! Who would think you’d have to give up half your stuff for being with someone for 15 hours?!?

You’ve got to give me credit, gang. The law offices of Noodleman, Lipshitz & Schwartz? C’mon now.