Julian Smith

Resilience is learned and built upon, just like anything else in life. I coach my clients to understand that sometimes the door that's just closed behind them is inferior to the window that's just opened up, and that every setback comes with an opportunity to learn more about themselves and to come back stronger than before...

I disagree with this statement; rejection should be taken as a sign that you weren't successful - but there could be multiple reasons why you were rejected, from a more suitable candidate to an internal choice, and it doesn't necessarily follow that you should 'accept defeat' and start broadening your horizons. When I coach clients we work on short-, medium- and long-term goals; aim for the 'Holy Grail' of jobs in the short term, but understand how long you can afford to keep chasing the perfect job, before then turning to 'Plan B', which is a broadening of scope and a medium-term approach if the short-term hasn't worked. And so on. But, even if you broaden your horizons, don't give up looking for the job of your dreams...

The first thing I always advise clients to do is to chase feedback for unsuccessful interviews, especially when it's not forthcoming. Establishing a good rapport with your interviewers encourages them to be more open to giving you constructive, genuine feedback, and this is crucial to improving your interview performance... Being sufficiently self-aware to be able to take the feedback on board is key to learning here. It almost doesn't matter whether or not you agree with them; if they're telling you how you came across, then this is hugely valuable, even if you're tempted to disagree with them. Remember that there are always two sides to a story and every situation is open to different interpretation...

A no can be seen as a 'not yet', as a learning opportunity to come back stronger and better prepared. We've all been knocked back at various stages in our lives, yet we're still here - so what's the worse that's really happened here? You entered a competition but someone else came first, so rather than dwell on the rejection, regroup, learn from the experience and come back stronger next time...

I help my clients to see it as a 'mis-match' rather than a rejection, and try to build their resilience. It's an opportunity for a learning experience, and there's always another opportunity around the corner! Dwelling on a rejection won't help preparation for the next interview, and can sometimes (unfairly) knock confidence levels.

Be authentic I agree with all of the other contributions to this post, but the thing that helps #Memcom the most is our authenticity and understanding. We understand the nuances of the membership sector, and we spend time getting to understand the needs of our partners. If we can align the two then we can create a successful authentic partnership which will hopefully last for several years, but if not we have to walk away. Being authentic to me is about being honest about what you can deliver and not over-promising. Being honest sometimes means admitting that you can’t provide a new partner with the access or contacts they need. I think this explains why some of our partners continue to support Memcom after more than a decade.