Tory Markham-Beech

The best relationships are not an instant success, there is no magic potion. There are a number of key ingredients that can help you build your own: 1 - Be authentic! It breeds trust and confidence! 2 - Show up! If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there, be present! 3 - If you say you are going to call, call! Email is exactly the same. People quickly turn off when the interaction seems disingenuous so if you say your going to do something - DO IT! 4 - Make yourself available, make it easy to ask for more information and make the process as simple as possible. 5 - Get the right balance and know when enough is plenty. Always leave the door open

Creating an environment where communication can happen openly and transparently without fear of being misunderstood is vitally important. When people feel heard and understood communication becomes easier for everyone. Communication is often inhibited when people feel they won't be taken seriously or that it may cause a conflict. That's okay! We don't have to agree with everyone all of the time and often some of the most inspired ideas emerge as a result of differing opinions. As long as you continue to communicate respectfully and with empathy you can begin to harness the power of conflicting opinion. Remember the 3 gates, consider what you are about to say: 1 - is it necessary? 2 - is it true? 3 - is it kind? Answer 3/3 or keep quiet :)

Someone once said to me " We have two ears and one mouth for a reason..." this has stayed with me forever and it's a phrase I have used more times than I care to remember. There are so many benefits attached to this simple behaviour but it doesn't come easily to everyone. I strongly believe that the optimum listening style is 'active listening'. When you are actively listening you retain much more of the information you are actually hearing. This is further enhanced by the additional clues you will be able to observe such as body language, emotional state and so on. By keeping shtum while someone speaks you are also demonstrating a higher degree of respect, it is likely this will produce a greater yield from the entire interaction.

Healthy body - healthy mind. You cannot have one without the other so be kind to yourself. Things you ought to do and things I do myself: Drink plenty of water! Exercise, nothing is better than a walk amongst rustling trees or the sound of running water. Get out there if you can. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, when you begin to burnout, this can become increasingly difficult which exacerbates the whole situation. Get used to saying 'NO'. We often over commit because we feel obligated or pressured. If you'd prefer to go home after you knock off on a Friday rather than nip down to the pub for drinks just say NO! Practice mindfulness, it need not be complicated, there are an abundance of apps you can access through your smart phone.

Set boundaries - DEFINITELY! I previously worked for a company that expected me to use my own mobile phone for business purposes. This is absolutely NOT ok in my view. It can become almost impossible to separate home life from work life. Not only that, if you end up with a client who is p***** off the last thing you need is them hounding you on what is essentially your home phone! Also, what's with all the WhatsApp groups? It is healthy to set clear boundaries so you can completely switch off when you are not at work.

Before we start talking about taking breaks lets start at the beginning! Often the term is used carelessly , maybe after a busy day 'I'm feeling a bit burnt out'. Real burnout is serious and extremely debilitating. It can take up to 2 years to fully recover. Here are the common symptoms: Common signs of burnout: Feeling tired or drained most of the time Feeling helpless, trapped and/or defeated Feeling detached/alone in the world Having a cynical/negative outlook Self-doubt Procrastinating and taking longer to get things done Feeling overwhelmed. When you reach true burnout it is almost impossible to function. Learn to recognise the signs not just in yourself but also in others. Check in on each other and yes! TAKE REGULAR BREAKS!