If you had trouble processing Wednesday’s news that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy is retiring, you’re not alone. Stephen Colbert is flummoxed too.
“Listen, if you’re on a low-carb diet, you’re in luck ’cause ain’t no way to sugarcoat this,” Colbert began, before announcing Justice Kennedy’s decision to retire from the Supreme Court.
“I never thought I’d say this, but you’re only 81!” he continued.
The Supreme Court centrist’s decision opens the door for President Trump to tilt the court sharply to the right and could endanger protections for reproductive and LGBTQ rights, among other issues.
“Oh, we are supremely screwed,” Colbert bemoaned.
“This could have huge repercussions,” he continued. “Think about it. The court that just this week crippled unions, upheld Trump’s Muslim ban and race-based gerrymandering might turn conservative.”
“So enjoy your gay marriages now, because as of Aug. 1, you’re back to being roommates,” Colbert concluded, referring to Kennedy’s retirement on July 31.
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Justice Anthony Kennedy retires, allowing Trump to replace pivotal swing vote on Supreme Court
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