Most people by now have heard about the Will Smith-Chris Rock ruckus at this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. Hardly a shining moment for the academy or Will Smith. It’s hard for me to understand the kind hubris it takes, in a setting like that, to get up from your seat, walk on stage and physically assault someone. That the event was being broadcast live around the world makes Smith’s actions all the more astounding.
I understand a husband’s desire to defend his wife from what Smith perceived as a verbal assault, but his behavior was nothing short of disgraceful, and he deserves every bit of the criticism he’s received since.
Having said that, it now seems Smith has had time to reflect on his behavior and come to his senses.
To his credit, he issued a statement apologizing to Rock, to his colleagues, to the academy, and to everyone around the world who witnessed the attack. He called his own actions “unacceptable and inexcusable” and ended by explaining that, as a person, he is still a “work in progress.”
Who isn’t?
So what should our reaction be to Smith’s apology? He is an individual who used extraordinarily poor judgement committing a violent act for all to see, and despite Rock’s decision not to press charges, there can be no doubt what Smith did was a crime.
Doesn’t the cancel culture world in which we live demand he be shunned and lose his ability to make a living as an entertainer? Others have suffered that fate for much less.
Perhaps there should be consequences for his egregious lack of judgement. He certainly should be grateful Rock has taken such a gracious position concerning the incident, and we will learn soon what sanctions, if any, the academy will impose on Smith, but cancel culture demands much.
Why is our culture so intent on destroying people?
Who among us can say they are not a “work in progress?” Who hasn’t done something in the past that, but for the grace of God, would have resulted in serious consequences?
In circumstances like these, a person’s willingness to extend forgiveness to an offending party is usually a function of whether or not they generally agree with that person’s social or political views or personal values. We are much more likely to forgive offenders whose views align with our own, and we are much more likely to desire the harshest of consequences for individuals with whom we disagree.
This attitude stems from a political environment, and enabled by a news media, that far too often characterizes people with contrary points of view as, “evil incarnate.” We have divided ourselves into competing clans, with anyone outside our clan considered and treated as an enemy. In such an environment there is little room for mercy, but if there is ever to be reconciliation in this country, it is absolutely essential we learn how to forgive.
Today, at the slightest provocation, we are ready to throw each other to the wolves. Forgiveness is one of the highest virtues. No less than Jesus taught we are to forgive offending parties, not once, not seven times, but 70 times seven times. Yet for too many of us, one time is one too many.
We all offend and we all get offended. Maybe our poor choices are not as egregious or as public as Smith’s, but surely each of us has said or done things for which we need to be forgiven.
If we want forgiveness, we need to learn to give it.
Through pain and heartache, the most important lessons in life are learned, but that outcome is most often determined by what happens in the aftermath of an offense. Amazing personal growth can occur, but so can the hardening of poisonous attitudes.
Growth takes time and nurturing. It takes a forgiving, loving attitude. In the most difficult of circumstances, we need to remember we’ve all been on the other side of the coin and respond in a way we would want others to respond were we the offending party.
We need to learn to talk to each other and stop trying to silence those with whom we disagree. Only by engaging with others and listening to points of view different than our own will we learn and grow as individuals, even if that means we must listen to and consider points of view we find offensive.
That requires a willingness to show empathy, and a desire to achieve a higher plane of understanding.
In my opinion, Chris Rock is the hero of the story. His reaction to Smith’s assault was amazing, both in the moment and in the aftermath. He deserves our respect and praise, and it is my hope, in the days to come, when this unfortunate incident is discussed, we focus more on Rock’s reaction to Smith’s assault than on the assault itself.
It might also be a good idea that we refrain from making comments about someone else’s spouse.
Chris Roemer is a retired banker and educator who resides in Finksburg. He can be contacted at [email protected]
