The Worst Character in Fiction: A Guest Post by Alex Hirsch
For all of you still living in the world of Gravity Falls, Alex Hirsch has brought back his most nefarious of villains — Bill. The Book of Bill is Bill’s chance to tell his story, from his evil origin to an interactive array of puzzles and ciphers, all brought to you by the mastermind himself. This is Gravity Falls as you’ve never seen before. Even better, the Barnes & Noble exclusive brings you even more Bill.
Hardcover $26.99
The Book of Bill (B&N Exclusive Edition)
The Book of Bill (B&N Exclusive Edition)
By Alex Hirsch
In Stock Online
Hardcover $26.99
The demon that terrorized Gravity Falls is back from the great beyond to finally tell his side of the story in The Book of Bill, written by none other than Bill Cipher himself.
The demon that terrorized Gravity Falls is back from the great beyond to finally tell his side of the story in The Book of Bill, written by none other than Bill Cipher himself.
Dear Reader,
Hello! I’m Alex Hirsch, creator of Gravity Falls, as well as the short-lived Hannah Montana spin-off Veronica Hannukah about a teen rabbi who solves mysteries (still hoping for season two!). In 2023, the fine folks at Disney Publishing reached out to ask me if I would have any interest in writing a book from the perspective of Bill Cipher. What a cute idea! I told them “Absolutely not!” and then threw my phone into the ocean. The reason should be obvious: Bill Cipher is the worst character in the history of fiction.
He is shrill. He’s manic. He has no moral compass and no indoor voice, and every second I spend “writing” him does irreparable damage to both my mental health and the caps lock button on my keyboard. I would rather pour sulfuric acid into my eyes than write a book about Bill Cipher.
Despite me being very, very clear on this subject, six months after I rejected the offer, I received a message from Disney “congratulating” me on finishing The Book of Bill, along with a package on my doorstep with a book inside. After reviewing the manuscript, I’m here to tell you that I have NO IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM, have ZERO MEMORY OF WRITING IT, and DO NOT ENDORSE THIS BOOK IN ANY WAY. Flipping briefly through, it seems to be an incoherent pile of dubious advice, pointless activities, lies, libel, and (somehow) live bees. This may be the only book capable of actually reducing literacy rates. It is an anti-book. It will make you dumber.
If you somehow find this cursed object in your possession, my advice is to throw it out of a moving car, wash your hands with boiling-hot lye, and consult your nearest priest, rabbi, or exorcist. By purchasing this product, you are agreeing that I am in no way legally or morally responsible for what happens to you when you read it. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!
Your Pal,
Alex Hirsch
PS: PB SXSSHW LV VR FXWH ZKHQ KH’V PDG
PPS: I DIDN’T WRITE THAT!!!
