Usually, when you decide to get married, it means that you're making a forever commitment to your partner. Obviously, throughout the course of a marriage things might happen that cause two people to split up.
![Bride in an elegant, lace wedding gown and groom in a tailored black suit holding hands while walking down a park pathway](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/17/asset/dfd14c008338/sub-buzz-4490-1719941293-8.jpg?downsize=700%3A%2A&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto)
However, this redditor who recently shared his story on the subreddit r/relationship_advice is conflicted about what to do after his wife came to him suddenly asking for an open marriage after being in a monogamous marriage for 15 years. Here is what they shared:
![A person seeks advice on processing their wife's recent decision (bi-sexual, open marriage), mentioning family challenges, their job, and reflections on attractiveness](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/17/asset/6137b58246c6/sub-buzz-706-1719942556-1.png?downsize=700%3A%2A&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto)
To summarize, the OP mentioned a few months ago that the Redditor's wife started texting a new female friend, and they had some similar interests. "Our sex life was not great (maybe 4-8 times a year until last year). She had turned 40, and her sex drive increased. For the last six months, it was 1-2 times a week. I loved it, and she was having a great time (the one thing I am good at). However, out of the blue (around the same time), she asked if I would be ok with a threesome. I said I would be self-conscious (I was startled)."
![Text describing a conversation about changes in a couple's sex life, including trying new experiences. It ends with an unresolved conflict and potential separation](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/15/asset/741496c26b06/sub-buzz-4907-1719932773-1.png)
The OP concluded by writing, "This whole thing has completely upended my mental health. I am starting on anti-depressants, and I am not sleeping. I am ashamed at how little I stick up for myself, but she is my best friend and the love of my life. I don't think I can go through an open marriage. We start couples counseling later this month. She has been more lovey and open and thinks our marriage is improving greatly. I am not sure. Reddit threads on this subject are awful (outcome-wise). What should I do? Is there any hope for us? How do I navigate this with her?" the OP asked.
![Summary of text: A person shares their struggles with their mental health and marriage, mentioning starting anti-depressants, seeking couples counseling, and asking for advice](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/15/asset/d97795073d1a/sub-buzz-2883-1719932783-1.png)
Over 100 people chimed in in the comment section, offering advice, explaining their thoughts on the situation.
![A Reddit post by user Heavy-Quail-7295 discussing bisexual people in monogamous relationships and expressing a stance against open marriages](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/15/asset/af8d39f56c4c/sub-buzz-1394-1719933369-7.jpg)
This person showed got super honest with the OP.
![Summary of text: The writer advises to say no to a wife wanting to explore her sexuality with another, suggesting offering a speedy divorce as she will leave for her friend](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/15/asset/f811d269489d/sub-buzz-3043-1719933653-9.jpg)
This commenter explained what the OP's wife was doing, and they have a good point.
![A Reddit comment discussing how one woman didn't reciprocate feelings, leading to complications in OP's marriage. Section showing 23 upvotes, award, reply, and share options](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/15/asset/72d25a790d59/sub-buzz-457-1719935246-6.jpg)
And this person in an open relationship shared their experience while giving the OP solid advice.
![Reddit post by user Low-Goal-9068 advising against starting an open relationship if there is pressure or emotional turmoil, stressing communication and mutual enthusiasm](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2024-07/2/16/asset/06094fa0dd33/sub-buzz-883-1719937426-1.jpg)
What do you think? Why do you think the wife is suddenly asking for an open marriage? Is there a right or wrong way of handling this situation? Share all your thoughts with me in the comments below!
Note: Some edits have been made due to length and/or clarity.