Cruise

Cruise Ship Etiquette: How to Politely Get Around Assigned Seating

There are ways to ditch that boring tablemate—with minimal drama.
View from clifftop over the caldera after sunset illuminated cruise ship anchored off the volcanic island of Nea Kameni...
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You’ve just boarded a cruise, found the dining room on the first night, and been escorted to your table with your dining companions. The moment of truth has arrived: Will your assigned table be to your liking? 

A good number of cruise lines today still offer "traditional" dining, which dates back to the era of transoceanic liners: a fixed mealtime at the same assigned table each night. This leaves passengers with some degree of uncertainty, like where their table will be and who they'll be sitting with. Other cruise lines, however, ask for preference on table size at the time of booking, and generally seat guests at tables ranging in size from two to eight seats. 

Cruisers' preferences vary as well. Some actually enjoy sitting at tables with strangers, while others prefer to request tables the same size as their traveling party. A spokesperson for Cunard—which has been in service since 1840 and has more experience with oceangoing table assignments than any other cruise line—noted that in recent years guest demand has driven an increase in the number of tables for two in the main dining rooms on the company’s ships. 

So, what should cruise passengers do to make sure their preferences are met ahead of time? The secret is to visit the dining room early on embarkation day. It’s standard practice on most cruise lines to have the chief steward available on embarkation day to confirm table assignments and accommodate last-minute requests. It’s also a good time to confirm any dietary restrictions or requests. Cruise lines typically list this in their daily programs for embarkation day. It’s typically only for a few hours in the afternoon, so if a table assignment is a concern, make that your first stop after boarding.

How to share a table

Sharing a table, depending on your preference, can either greatly enhance or detract from the cruise experience. When it comes to manners and conversation, shoreside rules apply—it’s polite to introduce yourself to your tablemates, and to engage in polite conversation throughout the meal. Thankfully, there’s almost never a shortage of good safe topics among strangers onboard a cruise ship, including: 

  • Whether this is their first time sailing on a cruise, or with this cruise line or onboard this ship
  • How taking a cruise compares to a land-based vacation
  • Upcoming ports on the itinerary, or—later on during the voyage—how tablemates spent their day in port 
  • The ship's shore excursions or onboard activities
  • Anecdotes from other cruises or other non-cruise travels

Just like on land, there are topics to be avoided (consider religion and politics largely taboo). It’s also a good idea to resist the urge to comment on tablemates' dining or dietary habits, such as the number of courses or calorie counts of the dishes they order. It’s also a good idea not to evangelize—a pleasant dinner isn’t the place to gain converts to a fad diet or promote your multi-level marketing products. 

Dining room staff are pretty good about pacing courses at tables that have ordered at a different cadence, so diners who order three courses won’t be waiting for their main courses while their tablemates are still on soups and appetizers. That said, it’s also generally understood there’s no obligation to stay through the entire meal, particularly if there’s scheduled entertainment to get to. 

How to change tables during the voyage

It’s not uncommon for diners to request changes to their table assignments during the voyage—and they do so for a variety of reasons. A common reason for changing tables is that diners simply prefer a different table size or decide they prefer an earlier or later seating. The chief steward can typically accommodate those requests if they have the space. 

Diners may also change tables because they haven’t clicked with their tablemates. Simply explain the situation to the chief steward, and they can look for alternatives for your party. If there’s nothing available for the next evening, consider a specialty restaurant or other dining option, then check back.

Once you’re introduced to your tablemates, it’s polite to acknowledge them in passing elsewhere on the ship, even if you change tables. Don’t feel obligated to explain why you’ve changed tables (similarly, if tablemates have moved away from your table, resist the urge to ask why), but if asked, there are always no-fault excuses, like dining in a specialty restaurant, preferring another table size or location (“I get seasick by the window!”) or other polite deflections. 

Ultimately, a cruise is your vacation time, and it shouldn’t be spent with unenjoyable company. Sometimes it takes a little advance legwork or some mid-voyage fine-tuning, but there are plenty of options available for maintaining a pleasant onboard experience.