In case you haven’t heard, sex is so much more than just penetrative intercourse. Basically, any form of erotic touch or play enjoyed between two or more people (or between you and yourself) for the sake of sensual pleasure “counts as” sex. And whether you and your go-to toy are vibing along to a fantasy or you’re trying out new positions with a partner (or two, or three, etc.), a lot of your favorite freaky-deaky activities may just fall under the category of kinks and fetishes.
Now, wherever you fall on the kinkiness scale, from experienced kinkster to 100 percent vanilla, you may be wondering what exactly makes a kink a kink—and, for that matter, what makes a fetish a fetish. Hence why we’ve put together this comprehensive list of kinks and fetishes, from common ones you may already be familiar with—like BDSM—to more niche practices you may have never heard of.
But before we break down the individual kinks and fetishes themselves, let’s first get clear on what we’re really talking about here. “‘Kink’ is an umbrella term for any sexual activity or turn-on that is outside of the mainstream of what is generally considered to be sexual,” says sex therapist Sara Rosen, LCSW. Basically, a kink can refer to any sex act, fantasy, or turn-on that goes beyond the norm of strictly vanilla sex, says sex therapist Liz Powell, PhD.
Of course, this also means that what constitutes kink is subjective, adds Rosen. If kink is something that “deviates from the norm,” then what counts as kinky depends on what we (both as individuals and, to some extent, as a society) define as normal or “vanilla.” For example, using toys during sex might be kinky for one person, while totally run-of-the-mill for another, says Rosen. Basically, while there are plenty of sex practices that are widely considered kinky (like many of the ones listed here!) there’s an extent to which kinkiness is in the eye of the beholder.
It’s also important to note that while there’s a lot of overlap between kinks and fetishes, they’re not the same thing. “A fetish is similar to a kink, but it is typically something that is needed in order for arousal to occur,” Rosen explains, adding that some fetishists consider their fetish to be as inherent to their sexual identity as their sexual orientation. "A kink enhances play, while a fetish is integral to it.”
Naturally, there tends to be a lot of crossover between kinks and fetishes because—as is true of sexuality in general—the way we experience our unique sexual interests and behaviors is nuanced, and the way we talk about them is constantly evolving. This also means there’s a lot more nuance to many of these kinks and fetishes than we were able to get into in this glossary—hi, we had a lot of ground to cover! The good news? We’ve explored many of these topics extensively in separate articles of their own, which we've linked throughout. So if you want to learn more about a particular term, just follow the links for tons more info on these kinks and how they're practiced.
Whether you have a kink, a fetish, or prefer to stick to a more vanilla way of life, the important thing to remember is that what you do (or want to do or fantasize about doing) is yours to experience and define as you see fit—and there should be exactly zero shame attached to it. Likewise, what other folks are into (provided it all takes place between consenting adults, obviously) is also totally fine and wonderful and deserving of respect.
“There is no ‘normal’ in sex,” says sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD. “There are only two parameters that define normal and healthy sex: consent and pleasure. That's it, just two boxes to check. The mantra I like to use is, ‘All sex is good sex as long as it’s consensual and pleasurable.’”
So just keep that in mind as you peruse this list of 56 kinks, fetishes, and related terms people use to talk about those experiences and desires. Some of them may be familiar, some not so much, and some of them may be things you’re into yourself. Either way, it’s all part of the beautifully kinky and diverse fabric of the human sexual experience. Welcome to the wonderfully weird (in the best possible way!) world of kink!
1. Role play
Role-playing is one of the most common kinks and involves playing characters outside of your day-to-day lives, usually as part of a sex scene. This can range from tossing on a tie and pretending to be the boss of your partner, channeling your favorite TV character, or even creating a whole character-filled scenario.
2. Dirty talk
Dirty talk might seem pretty low-key on the kinkiness scale, but that doesn't make it any less legitimate—or any less hot as hell. "Some kinks are more typical than others, but they aren't more normal or acceptable for that reason," Richmond says. While exchanging nasty sweet nothings during sex can be a kink in its own right, it's also a lovely way to dip your toes in the water of other kinks that might take more time, energy, and preparation. For example, let's say that you're super turned on by the idea of an MMF threesome but not quite ready to go there yet in real life. Dirty talking about the act with your partner can press all the right buttons and allow you to explore such a scenario before you dive into the deep end.
3. Group sex
Threesomes, orgies, and swinging, oh my! Sometimes one other person just isn't enough. The bedroom is one place where you're allowed to be as greedy as you want. You might have a group sex kink (so hot and so normal) if the idea of enjoying multiple partners at once makes you want to come your face off.
4. Sex parties
Some people are voyeurs, some are exhibitionists, and others get off on the entire idea of a sex party. Not only can attending such an event allow you to show off, watch others, or both, but it's an ideal place to enjoy group sex or get to know other kinksters and integrate yourself into your local sex-positive community. "Once you find a kinky community, you'll quickly learn you're not alone, and many people share similar kinks," says sex educator Carly S.
5. Macrophilia
Recently named the 2024 Fetish of the Year by Clips4Sale, a macrophilia fetish, involves “sexual fantasies related to giant persons, whether male (giant) or female (giantess),” sociologist Sarah Melancon, PhD, previously told Cosmo. These fantasies often involve being crushed or consumed by the giant(ess), which brings us to…
6. Vore
Short for vorarephilia, a vore fetish eroticizes the act of consuming and/or being consumed, Celina Criss, PhD, a sex coach specializing in BDSM, previously told Cosmo. While there are some similarities between vore and cannibalism kinks, the latter tends to focus more specifically on cooking/eating a sexual partner, while vore fantasies are more about the desire to be swallowed/consumed whole.
7. Primal play
Primal play is a form of sexual activity in which partners leave behind the more “rational” or “logical” sides of themselves and tap into their animal instincts. This might involve animal role play, grunting, snarling, or other animal-like noises. Not all primal play is non-verbal, but it often is.
8. FinDom
Short for “financial domination,” this kink is rooted in the transfer of money from a submissive individual to their dom. “This act signifies a profound transfer of power and control,” psychologist Nazanin Moali, PhD, sex therapist and host of the Sexology podcast, previously told Cosmo. FinDom differs from regular old gift-giving in that “the submissive often gives money or assets specifically because the dominator has demanded it,” adds Moali.
9. Money kink
Speaking of sex and money, you can also just have a plain ol’ money kink. According to Melancon, when we refer to “money kinks,” we’re not exactly talking about being literally horny for, like, paper money itself. Rather, it’s about being turned on by what that money represents in our capitalist society: power, status, luxury, and a largely unattainable lifestyle. The difference between having a money kink and simply enjoying nice things is pretty straightforward. If you have a money kink, you legitimately become sexually aroused by money and luxury. If you just like nice things, you may get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but you don’t get sexually turned on, per se.
10. Electrostimulation
Craving fireworks in the bedroom? An electrostimulation kink involves the use of electric shocks, such as through the infamous Violet Wand, for erotic pleasure. This kind of play often involves a dominant partner administering controlled electric shocks to a submissive's erogenous zones or lightly teasing them over their body. However, before you jump into the world of electrostimulation, know that this one definitely falls under the category of edge play, aka BDSM practices that are considered riskier than others. As with any form of edge-play, it's crucial to follow stringent safety measures, establish a safeword, and ensure ongoing, enthusiastic consent and communication from all parties involved.
11. Objectification
As a kink or fetish, objectification refers to arousal by being dehumanized. For example, someone who wants to be erotically hypnotized to see themselves as a sex doll or object would have an objectification kink (or fetish, if that's the only way they can get off).
12. Objectum kink
Not the same thing as objectification, those with objectum fantasies have sexual relationships with or attraction to inanimate objects.
13. Pregnancy fetish
As the name suggests, a pregnancy fetish is having an intense sexual attraction to some or all aspects of pregnancy. For some people, it might be the round belly, whereas for other, it could be the lactation—whether it’s the actual act of breastfeeding or the milk itself, explains sexuality professional and mental health clinician Shanae Adams.
14. Breeding kink
A breeding kink refers to being into sex that could result in pregnancy—i.e. unprotected or fluid-bonded sex, typically involving one partner ejaculating inside the other. While enjoying condomless sex and internal ejaculation isn’t necessarily a kink and in of itself, those with a breeding kink are often turned on specifically by the possibility (and/or risk) of pregnancy associated with the act, even if pregnancy isn’t actually a desired end result. FYI, many folks with a breeding kink do not actually wish to become pregnant, and many also use some form of birth control other than condoms. Rather, this kink is often more about the risk, intimacy, and potentially dominant/submissive aspects of unprotected sex than an actual desire to get pregnant.
15. Exhibitionism
In a sexual context, “exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which the person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others,” clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon previously told Cosmopolitan. If you’re into the thought of someone watching you masturbate or change or get it on, this one's for you.
16. Voyeurism
“Voyeurism is getting sexual excitement from watching others when they are naked or engaging in sex acts,” says Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics sexologist. And while the pleasure is most commonly derived from watching others, the fetish could also include hearing others engage in sexual acts or even being told about other people’s sexual experiences.
17. Temperature play
This one is pretty much what it sounds like: sexual activity that involves elements of temperature. “Temperature play is an erotic form of consensual sensation play that's often carried out by people who engage in BDSM play or kink,” sex and relationship expert Shamyra Howard, LCSW, previously told Cosmopolitan. “The goal of temperature play is to use the elements of heat and cold to heighten the senses.”
18. Foot fetish
According to Powell, foot fetishes are "shockingly common," and usually seen in people with penises. People with foot fetishes may be submissives, meaning they have a desire to "worship" at someone's feet through kissing and massage or even giving a pedicure, Powell explains, though a foot fetish isn’t necessarily submissive.
19. Nylon fetish
Going hand-in-hand with foot fetishes, a nylon kink or fetish involves sexual attraction to, you guessed it, nylons. This could mean you like the look and feel of them or enjoy touching someone's legs in nylon stockings (or like to wear them yourself). As with many fetishes, this could also be a kink if it's something you don't need to get off. Either way, get thee some stockings and get to playing.
20. Breath play
Okay, so breath play refers to the BDSM practice of having your breathing restricted during sexual activity—but it's not exactly safe (for obvious reasons). A potentially safer alternative for those who aren’t interested in full-on edge play: Holding your own breath. The excitement of the action, plus the excitement of the power exchange, is a great alternative, suggests Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen, PhD.
21. BDSM
"BDSM is a catch-all acronym for several different aspects of the kink community," Powell explains. "The B and D are for bondage and discipline, the D and S are for domination and submission, and the S and M are for sadism and masochism." All BDSM involves a consensual power exchange, which means a submissive partner consents to letting the dominant power take control through various scenes.
22. Scene or scene play
A "scene" is a term for the time period in which the kinky play goes down. While you might refer to a night of sex as a hookup, those within the kink community often refer to kinky sex sessions with partners as "scenes."
23. Dominant and submissive
A dominant is someone who enjoys dominating their partner through various kinky activities. These can be physical—like choking—or mental—like calling someone names. The submissive partner enjoys being dominated, and being the one who is consensually tied up, slapped, humiliated, etc.
"Usually when we hear people use terms like ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive' to describe themselves, these are more identity-based than action-based," Cameron Glover, sex educator and Sex Ed in Color podcast host, explains. "But these don't have to be set in stone—there are people that use these terms interchangeably."
24. Switch
A switch is someone who, as Glover explains, "switches" between dominant and submissive roles.
25. Sadism and masochism
A sadist is someone who (consensually) derives sexual pleasure out of inflicting physical pain or psychological humiliation on their partner. Someone who identifies as a masochist derives sexual pleasure from receiving pain or humiliation. If this feels similar to the dominant and submissive dynamic, that’s because it is. But not all dominants identify as sadists, and the same goes for submissives and masochists.
26. Age play
Like many (but not all!) kinks, age play is what it sounds like—a role-play scenario in which one (or both) partners act out being a different age than they are, often with a significant age gap in mind. If you’ve ever had a thing for calling a partner “Daddy” or “Baby” in bed, chances are you’ve already played out a form (albeit a potentially light one) of this kink. In more involved scenarios, age play can take the form of the Dom Daddy/little girl (often abbreviated as “DD/lg”) dynamic, in which an older partner takes on the role of caregiver to their “little.”
27. Praise kink
A praise kink is when you or a partner get off on being, well, praised. Ever thrilled to the feeling of being called a “good girl” by someone you’re having sex with? That’s a praise kink at its finest—or at least most fundamental.
28. DD/lg
A form of age play, DD/lg relationships or scenes involve a dominant partner taking on the role of a care-giver while the submissive partner assumes the role of a younger person/child.
29. Vomit fetish
Aka emetophilia, a fetish that involves sexual attraction to the act, sight, or sound of vomiting, or of someone else’s vomiting.
30. Spectrophilia
Whether or not you believe ghosts exist, trust that attraction to them is very real. Spectrophilia refers to sexual attraction to—or even experiences/relationships with—ghosts or otherworldly figures.
31. Tentacle stuff
Best believe that sexual attraction to aliens/octopi/anything with tentacles is very real. So real, in fact, that there’s an entire genre of porn devoted to this fantasy. And if that’s not enough, there are also literal tentacle-shaped dildos and sex toys meant to cater specifically to this fantasy. So yeah, it’s a thing.
32. Sploshing
If you’re turned on by mess, then this might be the kink for you. Sploshing is a kink that involves a sexual response/attraction to being surrounded by or immersed in wet substances. These are often food-based—think: cake-sitting, jello tubs, pudding, etc.—but might also involve non-food substances, like shaving cream or anything that, well, has the potential to pack a splosh.
33. Robot fetish
Yep, you can be horny for robots. This includes hyper-realistic sex dolls, cyborgs, and even just reading fan-fiction about sex with robotic/otherwise not-quite-human-but-definitely-human-made beings/products.
34. Quirofilia
Attraction to hands! Someone with this kink might be attracted to hands/fingers themselves, hands/fingers doing certain things, or a specific kind of manicure. As is the case with all kinks or fetishes, how it plays out/is experienced depends on a kinkster’s individual taste. Generally speaking, however, quirofilia means you’re into hands/fingers/nails in some regard.
35. Melolagnia
This one is all about having a kink for music, but it's a little different than having a fave sex playlist or wanting to bang a hot drummer. Melolagnia means experiencing intense sexual reactions to music itself.
36. Trichophilia
Attraction to hair. Of course, we all love a good head of hair, but trichophilia refers to a specifically erotic response to hair be it of the armpit, chest, pubic, or head variety.
37. Golden showers and piss play
Golden showers are a form of piss play (which, yes, is any play involving urine). Golden showers specifically refer to peeing on a partner."Beyond golden showers, piss play (also called 'urophilia') can include peeing on or in different body parts, clothes wetting, or making a partner hold in their pee as part of the scene play," Glover says.
38. Edge play
"Edge play in kink is any kind of activity that is further out there and considered more dangerous," Powell says. What qualifies as edge play is different for everyone. Some common forms include blood play, breath play, knife play, and needle play. As you may have guessed, edge play is usually pretty risky, and should only be practiced by informed and consenting partners who understand the risks associated with a particular sex act and how to minimize those risks. (See here for more info on how to explore edge play safely.)
39. Blood kink/fetish
People with a blood kink are into, uh, blood. Blood play is a form of edge play and might include knife play, i.e. cutting yourself or a partner, incorporating menstrual blood into your play, or otherwise intentionally introducing blood into the bedroom. For obvious reasons, blood play can be risky, but there are ways to mitigate that risk and enjoy this kink if that's your thing.
40. Wax play
Another one that’s pretty much what it sounds like, wax play involves dripping hot candle wax onto a sexual partner. While it’s often part of BDSM play (and is sometimes considered a form of edge play) it isn’t always. “Hot wax can be a frightening and high-sensation element in play, and BDSM often eroticizes that kind of experience,” Queen previously told Cosmopolitan.
41. Katoptronophilia
Mirror sex, baby! If you’re turned on by watching yourself masturbate or have sex in front of a mirror, this one’s for you.
42. Gagging
A gagging kink can run the gamut from enjoying the feeling or sound of a partner choking (especially on the receiving partner’s penis) to getting turned on by that sound/feeling as the giver, to even vomiting or being vomited on as a result of gag-inducing sexual play.
43. Figging
“Figging is a sexual activity that involves putting ginger root in the anus or vagina to create a deliberate and intense burning sensation,” Julieta Chiara, a kink instructor and sex expert, previously told Cosmo. This kink is often part of BDSM play, so, as with other kinky sex acts with which you may be more familiar—spanking, flogging, etc.—the pain is all part of the game.
44. Needle play
Needle play, sometimes called piercing play, is a form of S/M play in which one temporarily pierces the skin of a consenting partner with sterile needles to produce a heightened state of sexual arousal.
45. Consensual non-consent
While it may sound like a total oxymoron, consensual non-consent (often abbreviated CNC) is a form of role play in which partners simulate a forced (often but not always sexual) experience. Rape fantasies, for example, are a form of CNC. The key word here, of course, is “consensual.” While consensual non-consent simulates forced sex, enthusiastic consent and clear communication are integral to any CNC play.
46. Hypnokink
Hypnokink, aka erotic hypnosis, refers to the practice of incorporating hypnotism into sex. While it’s not always part of a kink or fetish (some use erotic hypnosis to work through sexual trauma, or feel more connected to a partner during sex), it certainly can be, and sometimes falls under the BDSM umbrella.
47. RACK
RACK is not a kink, even though it sounds like one. It stands for "risk aware consensual kink," and is the most common guideline kinksters live by to make sure all parties are safe. The idea of RACK is not that you find a way to eliminate all risks, but that you ensure all parties involved in a particular sex act are aware of the risks involved and give their informed consent to engage.
48. Erotic humiliation
Like most kinks, erotic humiliation exists on a spectrum. It can mean a dominant partner consensually calling their submissive partner names like "slut" during sex. It can also be as extreme as someone being consensually "forced" to watch their partner have sex with someone else in front of them.
49. Cuckolding
Cuckolding is a form of the aforementioned erotic humiliation of watching your partner have sex with someone else. And yes, it’s where the term "cuck" came from. A cuck is a submissive who gets off on their partner having sex with someone else.
50. Aftercare
Aftercare isn’t technically a kink, but it’s another word that anyone engaging in kinky play needs to know. It’s basically a fancy word for checking in with one another after a scene to make sure all parties feel happy and comfortable with what happened. "It can include cleaning up the space you were in, putting away any toys that were used, and checking in on each other’s mental space," Powell says. If anything about the scene felt off or unenjoyable, this is your time to discuss and figure out what you need to improve the experience in the future.
51. CBT
Most people hear "CBT" and think of cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of therapy that focuses on regulating emotional responses and developing helpful coping mechanisms. But in the world of kink, CBT refers to cock and ball torture. It’s fairly self-explanatory, and usually involves a dominatrix inflicting consensual pain on a submissive’s genitals: think stepping on testicles while wearing heels, punching and slapping the penis, or "forcing" penis-having submissives to wear an uncomfortable chastity device.
52. Impact play
Usually done by a dominant to a submissive, impact play refers to hitting or spanking a partner’s body. Spanking is a common form of impact play, and others enjoy using toys like crops, paddles, or whips. To keep impact play safe and comfortable, most partners decide on a safe word, agree to only hit fatty areas (like the butt or thighs) to lessen pain, agree to be communicative about any discomfort or unwanted pain, and communicate during the scene to make sure the submissive is okay with the pain level.
53. 24/7
While people may generally identify as a submissive or dominant, some partners take it to the next level and enter a 24/7 arrangement, meaning that the consensual power exchange occurs full time, often while living together. The dominant and submissive roles are not only taken on for a scene, which may last just a few hours, but literally full time, on a 24/7 basis.
54. Rope bondage
Rope bondage is when a partner (usually the "top" or dominant partner) restrains another (typically the submissive) using rope. It can be as simple as using rope to tie a partner’s arms together, or as intricate as shibari, which is a form of Japanese rope tying that involves intricate knots and patterns and is considered an art.
55. Fisting
The act of inserting an entire hand, or fist, into a bodily orifice—like the vagina or rectum—is called fisting. Please use a lot of lube.
56. Orgasm control
Orgasm control involves a usually submissive partner allowing a dominant partner to, well, control their orgasm. This could include edging, orgasm denial, forced orgasms, or ruined orgasms.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
