Here's Everything to Know About Using a Vibrator

Vibrators can be incredible tools to help you maximize your sexual pleasure. They can open a brand new door to solo pleasure that goes beyond what you can get from your fingers alone, and they can amplify sensations for both (or all!) parties during partnered sex. They can make orgasms stronger, help you cum quicker and more often, and help you rest assured that every sexual experience will be the best it can be—if you know how to use them to your advantage, that is. That’s why knowing how to use a vibrator, and which type of vibrator works for you, is such helpful info. Another notch in your sexual pleasure tool belt, if you will!

The first step towards making vibrators a mainstay in your arsenal is figuring out what sensations you like. “Do you want internal or external stimulation? Both maybe?” asks certified sex and relationship psychotherapist Gigi Engle, sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app Taimi. “This will dictate the type of toy you want to buy.” A great place to start is by using your hands and masturbating the ol’ fashioned way. Do the same during partnered sex to see if external stimulation makes the internal stuff feel even better. Once you’ve got an idea, the fun part (although, let’s be honest, all parts of this process are fun) begins. It’s time to do a little shopping. 😈

“Grabbing the wrong pleasure tool will leave a bad taste in your mouth, and not in a fun way," cautions Goody Howard, a sexologist, educator, and consultant. That’s why you want to make sure your vibrator is coming from a reputable company, suggests Engle. Opt for a specialized sex toy retailer instead of a big-bulk website, if you can swing it. And remember: “Toys should always be made of body-safe or medical grade silicone,” says Engle, who suggests opting for a toy that’s USB-rechargeable, as they tend to be better quality than battery-powered devices.

Below, we put together a handy (pun intended 😉) list of each type of vibrator—from bullets to cock rings and everything in between—to serve as a cheat sheet for your shopping experience. We’ve covered what each type of toy does, how to use them, and pro tips to make them work to the absolute best of their abilities for you and your pleasure. Never wander aimlessly through the virtual aisles again!

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Bullet Vibrators

LELO MIA 2

$89 at LELO$85 at Walmart

Bedroom Kandi Rock It

$22 at bedroomkandi.com

Tracey Cox Supersex Powerful Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

$55 at Lovehoney

Presenting: The classic starter vibrator. It's small, bullet-shaped, and can fit discreetly pretty much anywhere. “Bullet vibrators provide a focused vibration in one specific area, so think about where you want to experience that sensation,” suggests sexual wellness educator Elise Schuster, founder of Okayso, a free app that connects anyone with questions about sex to experts.

How to Use a Bullet Vibrator

Using your hand, place the bullet vibrator somewhere externally—your clitoris, nipples, or anal opening, suggests Schuster. “Start out with a light pressure and listen to your body. If you feel like you need more, increase the pressure.” (For this, Howard recommends a bullet vibe with a finger strap or some kind of accessory to make it easier to hold.)

Pro Tip

If you’re coupled up, try using a bullet vibe with your SO. “These can be attached to special cock rings during partnered sex so that it stimulates the clitoris and vulva during penetration,” says sexuality coach Jennifer Doan. Alternatively, Howard suggests holding the bullet "under the chin while performing oral sex."

Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless Vibrator

Now 20% Off

$120 at Walmart$90 at Walmart

Blush Nöje Fauna Pleasure Wand with Attachments

Now 50% Off

$30 at PinkCherry

Unbound Ollie Wand Vibrator

$76 at Unbound$76 at amazon.com$76 at revolve.com

Wand massagers are the OG sex toy that you’re probably already familiar with if you watch porn (or if you've seen that episode of Sex and the City). And though its exterior might look rather intimidating, trust that this sex toy is a fan-favorite for a reason. “The wand massager is a classic, unisex device that doubles as a body massager and self-pleasure device,” says certified sexologist and pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan. “The wand is ergonomically designed to curve around the body, and is either rechargeable or runs on outlet power.”

How to Use a Wand Massager

Wand massagers "can be used to massage on and around genitals for arousal," but if you want to build some foreplay into the mix, they can “also be used to help relax the muscles of any part of the body from tense shoulders to sore feet,” she adds.

Position is really the name of the game with a wand massager. You can choose to either lie down with your knees in butterfly position, or on all fours reaching back toward the clitoris, suggests Morgan. But if that's not really working for you, don't be afraid to get a little inventive! "Exploring new positions can expand your access to pleasure," says Howard, who recommends wireless wands to "give you room to play."

Pro Tip

Both Morgan and Howard agree, wand massagers should be used with water-based lube (yes, it’s important to use lube—even when you’re masturbating!) to protect silicone material. And don't forget to take care of your vibrator. Morgan advises, “Just remember to give the device a rest every 15 minutes to prevent burnout.”

Remote Control Vibrators + Wearables

Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Remote Panty Vibrator

$90 at Lovehoney$72 at Walmart

Lovehoney Rechargeable Remote Control Small Love Egg

$55 at Lovehoney

Magic Motion Flamingo

Now 18% Off

$93 at Babeland

These bbs are, well, pretty much exactly what they sound like: remote control vibrators. The variation of pulses, vibrations, and speeds are controlled either through a downloadable app or physical remotes. These can help couples ~play~ together from a distance (ahem, all of you in LDRs), but they can also give you a bit more freedom during solo play. Vibrating panties also fall under this category.

How to Use a Wearable Vibrator

It depends on the type of wearable. Some wearable vibrators are meant to be inserted partially or completely (like egg vibrators), and others are made to turn any underwear into a pair of vibrating panties. Whatever type of wearable vibrator you're using, if you plan on being vertical, Howard recommends wearing tight underwear to make sure the toy stays in place. "Not only will that help keep the vibe in place and hold it to your body for maximum stimulation, it will also muffle the buzz so you can wear it discreetly almost anywhere," she says.

Pro Tip

If you have a thing for BDSM, try using these vibrators in a kinky Dom/sub role play, suggests Morgan. “The Dom holds the controls, and the sub wears the device, awaiting for the Dom to control their arousal and orgasmic peak.”

Satisfyer Satisfyer Pro 2+

$70 at satisfyer.com$49 at Adam & Eve$41 at Amazon

Inya The Rose Rechargeable Suction Vibe

$59 at loversstores.com$18 at Macy's$42 at walmart.com

Womanizer Classic Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator

$129 at Lovehoney$97 at Walmart

These vibrations simulate a sensation of pulling and sucking—similar to how it may feel when someone goes down on you. “Suction vibrators can be really fun, but it’s all about getting it in the right position,” says Schuster. “You may need to play around with it a bit before you find the sweet spot.”

How to Use a Suction Vibrator

Place the hollowed hole attached to it directly over the clitoris, says Doan. The suction cup stimulates the area on and around the clitoris, so the toy doesn’t require a ton of pressure. Adjust the vibration level and intensity to your liking as you continue to play around with it. “You may find that you only need to hover the toy in place to get the desired effect,” says Doan.

Howard, however, has a different approach. "You'll have more fun if you explore the sides and top of the clitoris" before placing it directly over the clitoris. She also recommends using it on your/your partner's nipples.

Pro Tip

Use the autopilot mode, if the toy has one. “You can benefit from the heightened pleasure of unpredictability, but you also don’t have to think about adjusting it manually. It also uses smart technology so that the pleasure air doesn’t begin until you press it against your skin,” says Jess O'Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist for Astroglide. If the sensation is too strong, Howard recommends "putting a scarf between you and the accessory, or maybe even keeping your underwear on."

Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

Now 20% Off

$43 at Amazon$100 at Adam & Eve

Wonderlust Harmony Rabbit Vibrator

$45 at Walmart$48 at She Vibe

Lelo Enigma

Now 10% Off

$179 at LELO$147 at amazon.com

A dual-pronged, or “rabbit style” vibrator has two ends: one that inserts into the vagina and one that sits externally on top of the clitoris. “Typically, the shorter end stays outside the body, and the longer end sits inside,” says Doan.

How to Use a Dual Massaging Vibrator

Generally, these toys work the magic themselves, it's getting them in the right position that's the hard part. "The space between the vaginal opening and the clitoris is different for everybody, and it's important to make sure that your vibe is in the right place for maximum pleasure," Howard says. Once you've positioned each part (the longer end inside of you, shorter end on your clitoris or vulva), set the speed and intensity you like, then hold it in your hand or try rocking and rotating it, says Schuster.

Pro Tip

Lube can (and will!) totally enhance this experience for you. But if the dual pressure is too much for you, stick to one type at a time instead of internal and external pressure simultaneously, says O'Reilly.

Svakom Cici Waterproof Silicone Vibrator

$70 at Babeland$50 at She Vibe

Tracy's Dog Lina G Spot Vibrator

Now 48% Off

$17 at tracysdog.com$26 at Walmart

Dame Arc

Now 20% Off

$79 at dame.com$115 at Bloomingdale's

The squishy, ridged area on the front wall of your vagina can feel really good when touched, and an internal vibrator was created specifically to stimulate that area, says Doan. These toys are typically curved, have a long handle, and vibrate at the tip, not the base.

How to Use an Internal Vibrator

Insert the vibrator inside of you and make sure the curved part is angled toward the belly button. “You can rock it, twist it, slide it in and out, or whatever feels good,” says Schuster. Howard adds that once the vibrator is hitting the right spot, "close your legs and cross your ankles for hands free fun."

Pro Tip

“This kind of stimulation can feel like a large amount of pressure building up inside you and the pressing need to urinate. If you relax into those feelings, both orgasm and squirting is a possibility,” says Doan. Just remember, if you're playing with a toy that might cause squirting, keep a folded towel handy. "Extra points for a puppy pad or splash blanket," Howard adds.

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Anal Plug Vibrators

Evolved Novelties Adam & Eve's Rechargeable Vibrating Anal Plug

Now 72% Off

$25 at PinkCherry$61 at Walmart

b-Vibe Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Rimming Butt Plug

$160 at Lovehoney$165 at b-Vibe$148 at Amazon

X-Gen Frederick's of Hollywood Vibrating Butt Plug

Now 60% Off

$12 at PinkCherry

How to Use an Anal Plug Vibrator

Insert the flared base gently by using a water-based lube or silicone-based lube (just not with toys made of silicone!). “The flared base ensures it stays in place comfortably, and the spirals on its neck makes removal easy after extended play,” says Morgan. If the pressure is too much, start with your fingers and build up to the toy. "Don't be overzealous when deciding on what size plug to buy," Howard says. "Start small and work your way up." She also recommends using a remote controlled vibe so you don't have to worry about setting it before you insert.

Pro Tip

For anal vibes, Howard likes to use a jelly lubricant instead of a regular liquid. "Jelly helps conduct the rumble and keep the butt plug in place," she explains.

Another pro tip: Don't forget to clean! “Use antibacterial toy cleaner or soap after play,” says Morgan, and remember: Do. Not. Double. Dip. What goes in the anal area should not be put anywhere vaginally, or else you could be at risk for UTIs or other annoying vaginal pains like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.

How to Use a Cock Ring

Cock rings can do more than help maintain erections (by slowing down blood flow to the penis, which can make for longer, stronger erections). “These toys create a unique sensation for people with penises that is unlike using other sex toys,” says Engle. They often come with a buzzy raised base that can help vulva-owners with clitoral stimulation during penetration, and can help people with erectile issues feel more confident during sex. “If we’re less worried about staying hard, we’re more easily able to stay hard,” says Engle.

Pro Tip

Engle suggests using a high-quality water-based lube to help with comfort, placement, and ease of removal. Also, keep an eye on the time. “Don’t use a cock ring for more than 15 minutes or so, because you don’t want to restrict blood flow to any part of the body for extended periods of time,” she says. “If anything feels painful or numb, remove the ring as soon as possible.” Go for a fit that’s snug, but not too tight. Pleasure is the motive, not discomfort.

When choosing the best vibrator for you, it's important to think about what kind of pleasure sensation you enjoy. "Do you like internal pleasure or clitoral stimulation?" asks Howard. "How do you feel about butt stuff?" Or maybe you're looking for a vibrator to help experiment with new sensations. Bottom line: the better you know yourself, the easier it'll be to pick the best vibrator for you.

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Absolutely yes because if you don’t, you risk shortening your vibrator’s shelf life, and, more importantly, you risk coming into contact with built-up bacteria. No thanks!

Engle recommends cleaning your sex toys after each and every use. Opt for a mild soap and warm water on a washcloth, “especially if you’re using it internally,” says Engle. There are also sex toy cleaners you can purchase for quick cleanups. “If you're feeling lazy, you can use a vibrator over a blanket, underwear, or clothes eternally on the clitoris, and this can allow you to skip such frequent cleanings, as it isn't coming into contact with any bodily fluids or skin. If you do want to use that same toy with a partner, however, clean it first.”

• Tyomi Morgan is a certified sexologist, pleasure coach, and intimacy coordinator. She is the founder of the Cowgirl Workout and the sex education blog Glamerotica101.
• Goody Howard is a sex educator and sexologist. She holds sexual education workshops, called RIDEology, with the aim of expanding society's understanding of sexuality and health, and dishes out tips and tidbits on her website, AskGoody.com.
• Elise Schuster, MPH, is a sexuality educator and co-founder of Okayso, a personal Q&A app with experts specializing in sexuality, identity, and sex.
• Jennifer Doan is a sexuality coach and former host of the Taking Back Slut podcast.
• Gigi Engle is a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app, Taimi.

Veronica Lopez

Veronica Lopez is the sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers and edits stories about single life, dating, relationships, sex, identity, and more. Previously, she was the sex and dating editor at Elite Daily. Follow her on Instagram here and on Twitter here.