It’s one of the oldest sex debates in the book: Morning sex vs. night sex, which one’s better? (For the record, afternoon sex is secretly where it’s at, but some of you aren’t ready to have that conversation yet.)
Of course, there’s no reason you have to choose one or the other—like, this isn’t a make-or-break, two-party system kinda situation. After all, seasoned sex-havers know the real move is to do it at night, then wake up for round two in the a.m. (which is pretty much the only reason it’s worth sharing a bed with someone, TBH). Still, we all like to have our loyalties. While morning sex certainly has its stans, nighttime seems to remain the default sex-having hour for most.
That said, if you’re saving all your sexing for after dark, you are simply missing out, friends. Not only are you wasting a perfectly good opportunity to have more sex, (more isn’t always better, but when it comes to sex, it kinda is) but there are tons of legit reasons morning sex is actually downright good for you.
“Sex in the morning can help you start your day in a good mood, due to the endorphins released, and because oxytocin can reduce cortisol levels, reducing the experience of stress,” says psychologist Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, a sex therapist and founder of Modern Intimacy. Meanwhile, she adds, morning sex can also boost energy and improve cognition and focus. So, basically, having sex in the morning makes you happier, smarter, and less stressed. Need we say more?
Of course, we will say more. Below, just several reasons you should seriously consider adding a little morning sex to your a.m. routine, plus a handful of tips and positions that will make a morning person out of just about anyone.
1. Your Boss Will Be Like “Who Dis?”
“Orgasms release dopamine, which can aid in helping you be more productive and make better decisions,” says certified sex coach Lisa Rogers. What this means: Say bye to your to-do list and fights with your S.O. about what you want to eat for dinner tonight.
2. You Won’t Get That Gnarly Mid-Day Headache
“Orgasms can help diminish pain,” says Rogers. So basically, this ensures you start your day ache-free. Whether it's a headache, some weird neck cranks, or that lower-back pain you've been complaining about, no need to bring the Tylenol today.
3. It Can Basically Replace Your Workout
If you’re not digging the idea of getting up early for the gym, might we suggest staying in bed and letting your partner give you a different kind of workout? “Sex has many of the same benefits as exercise for the body, so a little nookie can be comparable to a morning run,” says Balestrieri.
4. You’re Horniest Before the Sun Comes Out
“Testosterone levels are highest in the morning,” says Roger. And since this hormone increases desire and libido, why prolong your urges? Sure, a lil build-up during the day can be hot (especially if you're sexting), but sometimes it's best to just start your day on an actual high, y'know?
5. Your Skin Will Be Glow-Ing
TL;DR: Orgasms are nature’s makeup. “Blood rushes to all parts of the body, including the face,” says sex therapist Erica Evans-Weaver, PhD. Basically, your cheeks and face will be dewy without putting on your face with blush, bronzer, or highlighter (save that $$$, girl).
6. You'll Feel More in Love With Your S.O.
“Having sex in the morning releases oxytocin—also known as the cuddle hormone,” says sexpert Emily Morse, PhD. “Oxytocin makes you feel more connected with your partner and more loved. These warm feelings will stay with you throughout the day, or at least throughout the morning commute.”
7. You’re Probably a Little More Present
If you save all your sexing for night, you’re probably tired and stressed from a long day (or, if we’re being honest, turnt and tipsy from date-night cocktails) by the time you finally get around to doing it. Surprise, surprise, doing it in the morning when you’re well-rested and clear-headed can make for a more mindful sexperience.
8. It Won't Mess With Your Sleep Schedule
Weirdly enough, a good night's sleep is directly correlated with your sex drive. This means going to bed wayyy later because you had sex could not only make you groggy the next day, but could also mess with your sex drive in the long run. What’s the fun of having an orgasm if it ultimately makes you exhausted?
9. You Won't Feel Pressure to Have Sex When You’re Tired
Sex after a full day of work, a big dinner, and a glass of red can feel so tiring, no matter how much you love your partner. Pushing yourself to perk up because of some societal standard of night-only sex is a surefire buzzkill.
10. Spoon Sex Was Literally Made for Mornings
All you have to do is roll over, cuddle and fuck. Maximum morning pleasure meets minimum morning effort. If that’s not a win-win, I don’t know what is.
11. It Can Feel a Little More ~Intimate~
“Morning sex is often more honest sex, without the veneer of sexy outfits, or the buzz of a hot date,” says Balestrieri. “It’s more naked—in a possibly literal and certainly metaphoric way—and vulnerable, which can bring you closer together.” In other words, when it’s just you, your person, and your morning breath, things can get a little more real—in a good way.
12. You'll Get a Much Better View of, Well, Everything
Night lighting is cool and all, but sometimes the hottest sex involves seeing everything in plain view. It’s also the most vulnerable time to see your partner in all their naked beauty, which is a surefire way to bring you closer amid their chest hair.
13. You'll Save $$$ With Shower Sex
If you and your S.O. are regular a.m. showerers, cut down on time by showering together. “For the best water-sex position, bend over while they enter from behind,” Morse says. Avoid slipping and falling by holding on to a wall or shower door or putting down one of those rubber mats. BTW, be sure to use silicone-based lube (since water-based washes right off).
14. You'll Have an Excuse to Be Lazy
Hey, it’s still the morning: You have every excuse to be a wee bit sleepy and a whole lotta lazy. But honestly? Lazy sex slays. More often than not, it's pretty intimate... or a laid-back quickie that's pretty awesome too.
15. You Can Stay in Bed Just a Lil Longer
Looking at all of you not-not morning people, who just really enjoy morning sex. Say it with me now: sleep, sex, back to sleep.
16. Morning Is Prime Time for Missionary Sex
Listen, I’m a big ol’ missionary gal and I’m not afraid to admit it. Give me missionary any time of day. That said, morning sex is a particularly good opportunity to bask in the glory that is this classic, if tragically underrated, sex position. You just got up, you’re both tired, so there’s no pressure to get too creative here. Just roll on top of each other and go at it.
17. No One Said Morning Sex Has to Be Partnered Sex
If you don’t love the idea of waking up with another human in your bed, (I get it, separate bedrooms for life, baby) there’s nothing wrong with starting your day with a little solo session. “Some people think morning sex if off-limits because they don’t have time for a big production,” says Balestrieri. False. All you need to start your day with a bang is your favorite vibrator. Masturbating before coffee is way better than doomscrolling before coffee, trust.
18. You Can Avoid Doctor's Appointments
According to research, morning sex can actually strengthen your immune system by boosting your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection. No need to stress over making your own doctor's appointments anymore if you don't have to go to the doctor.
19. Your Partner Might Last Longer
“When men have higher testosterone and are well-rested, they have more energy during sex," says sex therapist Arlene Goldman, PhD. “That energy will help them last longer.” Sooo... if you want something longer than the average 5-7 minutes, morning sex might be your best bet.
20. More People Do it Than You Think
Not that you need anyone else to validate the sex you want to have, but a solid 34 percent of people prefer to bone in the morning than any other time. I kind of get it. See above.
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Taylor is the former Sex and Relationships editor who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge, why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex). You can follow her on Instagram here.
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
