“How crazy are you?!” Tiago* asked in his beautiful Portuguese accent when I entered my hotel lobby. It had only been two hours since my plane touched down in Norway and I was on a mission—determined to fuck a Norwegian, but thrilled to adjust for a Brazilian on his way to citizenship. I downloaded Hinge back at the lounge in LAX and checked my matches the moment I hopped off the plane and connected to Wi-Fi (yes, I’m a rich-ass sex worker, and no, I won’t pay for international data). Apparently Tiago was bored sitting alone in his apartment that night, so he jumped at the chance of my wild, extremely-last-minute proposal. We decided to link up for a date as soon as I got to my hotel, right after I took the World’s Fastest Shower.
“Let’s see which one of us is crazier,” I replied with a smile and wet hair as we headed out the door. Tiago was handsome! Five-foot-ten with dark, suave hair and, sartorially speaking, a classic European aesthetic—fitted gray jeans, tailored jacket to match, and a black polo tying it all together.
You should probably know: I’m not on any dating apps in America. My potential international fuck-fest was truly a “When in Norway…” sort of sitch, so I was in uncharted territory when we got to the wine bar in the hipster neighborhood of Oslo. Will we kiss? Will we go all the way? I had no experience or expectations and, one glass of natural wine in, found myself willing to be pleasantly surprised by whatever may unfold. (Remind me to take this dating philosophy back to the states.)
Tiago and I got deep fast, talking about his previous marriage and recent divorce, and how thoroughly he’s been living it up since. He spilled the tea on local sex parties and I shared my OnlyFans and legal sex work journey. Okay, I thought as our subject matter turned sultry, this could really happen. Still, it wasn’t until we finished our vino and tapas, walked back to my hotel suite, and sat down on opposite ends of the blue suede couch that we finally broke the seal.
“Say what you really want right now in Portuguese,” I teased, no physical contact besides an arm graze preceding this moment.
“Something, something, obrigado,” he replied in his native tongue.
“You’re saying you want to kiss me,” I fed him, knowing full well it was not the translation. Close enough! He came right over.
Our first kiss felt like that rewarding moment in a movie when the guy finally gets the girl—like we’d known each other longer than just a few hours. Quickly thereafter, Tiago was on his knees in front of me, lifting up the silk robe I’d changed into and diving head first between my thighs.
“Sí, sí, sí,” I moaned en español (our other shared language) as he licked and sucked his way all around my kitty and ass, sticking his tongue deeper inside both holes than any lover had before. How perfect is my life?! The ink of my passport stamp had barely dried and I was already on my way to climaxing in a land unknown, with a man unabashed.
I popped in a female condom, ready to come and then sleep off my jet lag. If you’re new to the game of female condoms, let me tell you: They’re the bomb. They’re worn from inside the vagina out, giving you total control over your safety. (One could call them “stealth-proof.”) Plus they’re great for accommodating girthier cocks without suffocation when needed. And in Tiago’s case: oh boy, did we need ’em.
He was thick—like, glass-bottle-of-Topo-Chico thick, with a nice tapering tip and enough length that I couldn’t get near his base when I attempted to deep throat him.
“Ouch!” I squealed as we tried inserting him in my pussy.
“Sorry! I’ll be gentle,” he said in his hot accent.
With some trying, we managed to fit him inside me from behind, and it wasn’t long before we both came at the exact same time. And then we both went—Tiago home, and me to sleep. We exchanged contacts over WhatsApp and hoped it wouldn’t be the last time we saw each other, though I’d be joining my family the next morning for a week of hiking through the majestic nature of Norway.
I kept Hinge active, but found myself swiping left again and again. I was only turned on by the memory of my date with Tiago back in Oslo. Could I really have made a lover-friend that quickly and easily? Several mountains, fjords, hikes, trains, sheep, dick pics from my new foreign bae, and one floating sauna later, I’d find the answer to that question to be a resounding “Yes.”
It was my last night in Norway, and my last chance for some alone time away from my fam. I had to see him.
“Should I just cancel my hotel?” I asked.
“I think that would be very smart,” he answered, offering to make me dinner and have me stay the (short) night at his place before my flight home.
How badass I felt to be pseudo-living like a local in Norway! Tiago picked me up from the tram and showed me around his gorgeous top-floor apartment. (If you live in NYC or LA like me, trust me when I say: You do not want to know how affordable the nicest apartment in the nicest part of Oslo is—it hurts.)
We put on one of my playlists, lit candles, and mauled each other—only pausing because we were so hungry. Tiago cooked me a delicious steak, pasta, and homemade tomato sauce dinner while I sipped more natural wine and showered off my long day’s journey.
I felt so comfortable being in his space, this man I had met exactly one week prior. Why? I don’t know, but I decided to stop questioning it when he pinned me to the couch after dinner and immediately went down on me again.
“So…good!” I huffed.
“You’re so gorgeous,” Tiago replied. “Your pussy is beautiful—you know that, right? And your asshole is perfect.” (American lovers, take note of all the compliments). “Will you do me a favor and sit your ass on my face, please?”
I’ve sometimes felt self-conscious sitting on faces, but that night I was right at home—Tiago’s enthusiasm ensuring me I could really smother him. He warmed up both my holes with his expert tonguing, then flipped me on my belly and put a finger in my ass.
“Ahh!” I yipped—it had been over two years since I had anyone in that hole.
“We’ll go slow,” he reassured me.
The truth is: I was nervous to have anal play because I’ve had injuries to the area in the past. But, when in Norway…, so I decided to let myself relax and trust destiny. Tiago must be the person fated to help me return to the realm of anal pleasure, I decided, letting myself surrender to his penetration.
He made me feel fully at ease as he slid a second finger in my ass, adding lube all around and whispering in my ear as he went.
“That’s two fingers now, you’re doing so good, girl.” (I wish you could hear these words in his accent.) “We’re gonna go for three now, okay?”
“Yes, Tiago.”
I felt my tight asshole relaxing, allowing him in digit by digit (all the way up to four!), the vulnerability and novelty sending me to my edge.
“I want you inside me while your fingers are in my ass,” I begged.
While we were repositioning, Tiago took his cock and dipped it into his glass of porto. I instinctively got on my knees and opened my mouth, slurping the delicious dessert wine right off him. Then, as we slowly worked his shaft into my pussy from behind, I let out a pleasurable wince, and once I fully accepted him, he pushed his thumb back into my bum. Now listen, I know I’m the writer here, but even I find it difficult to describe just how deeply pleasured I felt in the moments that followed.
It was like the most ultimate surrender you could imagine. Like he had me—like I was his to do with what he wanted. Penetrated in both holes, satisfied to the brim, and brimming with happiness, too.
“Imagine we’re at a sex party together,” he whispered at the nape of my neck. “Another guy is in your ass right now while I’m in your pussy.”
“Yeah, and you’re taking turns on me,” I added, about to explode.
“That’s right—we’re using you up. Now you’re gonna be good and stay right there and take it,” he said, thrusting as hard as he wanted and holding me in place with his thumb in my ass.
“I’m so close!” I yelled.
“Good! I’m not gonna come yet—just come with us both inside you, girl.”
His accent. His control over me. I felt my rapture at the very brink.
“I’m gonna come!”
“Good, girl! Just come!”
“Ahhh! I’m coming!!!” I cried, losing myself in a climax deeper and richer than any orgasm of the strictly-pussy variety. I was on fire—not burning, but glowing—the glittery embers of my O warming me to my core.
Without hesitation, Tiago removed all of himself from me and pulled me onto his chest for the sweetest cuddles. We could feel a real romance brewing—if only we lived closer together. Moments later I had a tender cry as he petted my head and we dreamt up what it would be like if we could stay together for more than the night. Realizing how finite our time together was and how vulnerable we’d been with each other because of that made our cosmic connection feel infinite. Plus, the guy took my born-again ass virginity, so I’m always gonna cherish him.
Now, maybe it’s because I’m on the flight home as I write this and very sleep deprived, or maybe it’s the cab sav I’m drinking in first class, but I’m shedding a tear reminiscing on the beauty of my chapter with Tiago. So, to my Brazilian-Norwegian lover: You may have bookended my trip, but I’m really hoping we don’t close the book on us just yet….
*Name has been changed.
GG Sauvage is a writer and all-around artist on a mission to f*ck shame away and empower people with self-love. She designed The Sexiest Deck Alive: Erotic Oracle Cards to Turn You On & Help You Turn the Corner, co-hosts the Basic Witches podcast, and wrote the audio drama Sex and the Synchronicity. See her work at Refinery29, Vogue Italia, Vulture, CollegeHumor, and WhoHaHa, and check out her website for more!
