From sexual desire to emotional fulfilment, the debate around why people cheat continues to fascinate.
It’s a concept new Netflix thriller Obsession explores in deliciously scandalous detail. In the series, enigmatic lead Anna (Charlie Murphy) embarks on an erotic affair with her fiance’s father, William (Richard Armitage). What will happen when this dark secret comes to light?
Inspired by Anna’s forbidden desire, one writer reveals what led her to stray...
“I’d been married less than a month when I met the love of my life. It was at a friend’s party – she’d transformed her garden into a bar, complete with dance floor.
“I was there solo because my husband was under the weather. Chatting to a friend, I sipped my drink and scanned the crowd. And that’s when I saw him.
“He was at the bar. Our eyes met and two things happened: first, I realised he was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. Second, somehow, I knew he was going to become someone very important to me.
“I’d never felt anything so powerful – it was like an electric shock; an exhilarating blend of excitement with just the smallest hint of danger.
“I instinctively smiled at him before turning back to my friend. Barely a minute later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was him. The same feeling of electric possibility washed over me.
“He introduced himself as Alex. He had brown eyes and dark hair, and his smile was so gorgeous it made me dizzy. I had to look up at him – he was taller than my husband, which I wasn’t used to, but I liked.
“The rest of the night is a blur: Alex and I playing a drinking game, sitting on the sofa for what felt like hours, and watching one of his favourite films in a back room.
“By the end of the night, something had fundamentally shifted for me but I told myself it was just the influence of the alcohol.
“Despite the attraction, I was determined for it to remain only a friendship. But after a few Sundays together, filled with mimosas and films, I couldn’t deny it any longer. Journalling one day, I decided to tell both Alex and my husband how I was feeling and we’d figure it out.
“It would’ve worked, too, if my husband hadn’t read my journal first.
“What followed was typical of our 10-year relationship. We were textbook co-dependent, so any perceived threat to his status as the perfect partner was a challenge to his identity. And any perceived threat to my own freedom was guaranteed to make me impulsive.
“We fought, my husband accusing me of infidelity and demanding I end all contact with Alex. Furious, I said I was going to Alex’s to end it in person and fled the flat, knowing full well I was going to Alex’s to sleep with him.
“Returning home that night, I felt powerful. I had this secret, beautiful experience no one could take from me. The hours I’d spent with Alex were almost otherworldly and I played them over in my head for the next two weeks I managed to not contact him.
“But some connections can’t be denied – that was just the start of our five-month affair.
“During that time, my husband and I went to couples’ counselling. He swung wildly between rage, emotional detachment and depression. I tried to balance my honest desire to make it work with my impatience at his mood swings and slow acceptance of the way things were.
“I’d made it clear to him that Alex was part of my future (while vehemently denying he was part of my present). That wasn’t negotiable. I’d learned something powerful about myself – that I was capable of loving more than one person at a time.
“In the past, I thought this was a fundamental flaw. Why else would I fall in love with someone new when I already passionately loved someone else?
“But as I worked through all the complex feelings of having an affair, including pride, desire, guilt, doubt and deep love, I learned it wasn’t a flaw – it was a superpower. I could love someone with my whole heart while loving a second person just as much. Realising this, there was no going back.
“What I’d done wasn’t ethical polyamory. I had an affair, and it’s not the same thing. But I realised I was capable of polyamory, which is perfectly normal.
“My husband, a staunch monogamist, couldn’t fathom it and ultimately couldn’t join me in this new chapter. After a bitter divorce, we never spoke again.
“Five years later, Alex and I are still happily together. We’re monogamous by mutual choice, but now I know should I ever meet someone new who makes me feel like he does, there’s nothing wrong with me.”
Watch Obsession, a four-part erotic thriller, only on Netflix
