Let's talk about sex, baby! Whether you're looking to take your sex life up a notch or want to impress a new partner, it can be really helpful to check out sex tips and advice. And, thankfully, you're in the right place! Over the years, we've prided ourselves on providing the best sex tips and sexy toolkits to help our readers live their sex lives to the fullest – it's kind of our M.O. tbh. We've literally got a whole section dedicated to how to have good sex, from blow job tips to advice for your first time having lesbian sex, a guide on how to eat someone out and a round-up of *mega* sex positions to try.
Sounds like a lot of reading, right? Well, because we want to make it as easy as possible to upgrade your sex life, we've decided to round up all of our best sex tips in one place. So, keep scrolling for our gold standard sex advice and thank us later...
Sex Tips - Partnered Sex
Communication
"So, you’ve met that special person and are madly in love, but the sex isn't that great. The only solution to this is to tell them," says Lovehoney's sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. "It's vital you keep the channels of communication open to enjoy good sex. Don’t be afraid to say, 'That really doesn’t work for me.'
"Talk about what really DOES turn you on, and allow them to do the same." If you do this in a positive way, highlighting what your partner does that you really enjoy, it can be a constructive conversation rather than one in which someone gets hurt.
Variety
"Eat the same meal every night and you will soon get bored of it. Why would sex be any different?" Annabelle says. "Too many couples get stuck in a sex rut where they do the same things, at the same time with the same results. Sex becomes routine rather than something special to look forward to."
So what's the solution? "Mix it up in whatever way works for you: pick a different room in the house to have sex each time; drive to the countryside and find a secluded spot; try having sex in the morning instead of the evening; or treat yourselves to a new sex toy," she suggests. As long as you're breaking the routine every now and then, you're groovy.
Use Sex Toys
The idea that all women and people with vaginas can orgasm through penetration alone is the biggest and most damaging myth surrounding sex.
"Most don't orgasm solely through vaginal penetration, with 7 out of 10 requiring additional clitoral stimulation to reach climax. The result is that men and people with penises have at least three times as many orgasms with a partner than women who sleep with men do. The rates for casual sex are even more abysmal: only 4% have reported having orgasms through casual penetration," Annabelle says.
So to make sure both partners are getting pleasure out of sex, she recommends turning to toys. "Sex toys are a great way to stimulate the clitoris and improve women's chances of orgasming. Plus, they’re not all intimidating and scary - kick things off with a clitoral vibrator, which is just as much fun to use on your own as with a partner."
Sex Tips – Blow Jobs
Think About Your Positioning
"Make your partner either sit up straight, or stand up - that will be easier for you," says sex expert and professional dominator, Master Dominic. "People with penises can be incredibly visual, so a clear view of what's happening will only add to it. Then always keep at least one, both if possible, of your hands on them at all times. Having more going on will make them very happy."
If you're in need of some blow job position inspo, listen to what these penis-having humans have got to say about their favourite ways to receive.
Be Enthusiastic
Obviously, it goes without saying, you should never do anything sex-related that's you're not totally up for, into and consenting to. And Dominic says from a receiver's point of view, that's incredibly important too.
"Men and people with penises care about more than just getting their dick wet. They'd prefer one amazing blow job every three months than an average one once a week. We can tell if you're not 100% into it, so don't do it unless you're in the mood. It feels crap when someone is just humouring you."
Start With Just The Tip
"Curl your lips around your teeth, and put your mouth around their penis," Dominic says. "For the first couple of insertions, just go for the tip. It's an extremely sensitive part of the penis," so pay attention to it.
"Don't worry about deep throating unless you have a natural ability," he adds, "it's a porn myth that you should to be able to do it, and if you don't have a wide mouth then it's just uncomfortable and unsexy.
"Also, moving the tongue doesn't make things that different - the way it moves naturally is enough."
Kiss your way down there
Make your way south of the river. To amp up the tension, mark this path with small kisses beginning from their neck and proceeding down to their pelvic region. Before you take the plunge, experiment with some sensual kissing up and down their inner thighs. Not totally necessary, but I'm just saying they probably wouldn't not be into that – a little teasing like this can increase the anticipation.
Try The Kivin Method
The Kivin method, is an oral sex technique often touted as a "cunnilingus trick" that apparently helps women and people with vulvas reach orgasm in just three minutes. The secret? Basically, you come at it from the side. Yep, instead of positioning yourself between your partner's legs, get beside them. Raise their clit and steady it by popping your index finger and thumb on either side of it. Then, instead of licking up and down, go from side to side across the clit or clitoral hood (depending on how sensitive they are and what they like – keep asking what works for them).
Get Other Areas Involved
You might want to stimulate other parts of your partner’s vulva or body while you're busy licking them out. Run your fingers down their thighs, grab their hips, or reach for their breasts/chest and massage those too if that’s what they’re into. There are plenty of options.
Use your fingers if they have given enthusiastic consent beforehand. Slowly insert a finger into their vagina and ask to see if it feels OK. Move it in and out slowly to start with, curling your finger up towards their stomach to hit the G-spot. Massage it gently, and if they like it and agree, you can go harder and faster.
All the while remember to *never* neglect the clitoris.
Engage The Senses
It's often said that the brain is the most important sex organ, so using your imagination or playing with your senses can lead to really great romantic sex. Think of ways to engage your five sense, suggests psychosexual and relationship therapist Aoife Drury.
"Start with the visuals; try soft lighting, perhaps some candles and you could integrate smell into it by using candles with a soft aroma. Touch can be integrated in so many ways, from using hot or cold objects like wax or ice, to implementing sex toys like vibrators or bullets," she explains.
Take It Slow
Mindful sex is all about focusing on being in the present and can be a great way of bonding with your partner, says Aoife. "Focus on what you are doing at every given moment. Be aware of what is happening in your body and try not to allow distractions to take over," she suggests.
Talk About Your Fantasies
Sharing a personal fantasy with your partner can be a great way to be more open and vulnerable with each other, says Aoife. "Vulnerability deepens the connection between you", she says, and can lead to some amazing romantic sex.
Sex Tips – First-time Lesbian Sex
Masturbate For Practice
If you fancy doing some homework, there's no better way to get some practice in than masturbation. If you're a regular wanker, great. If not, perhaps now is the time to learn how to masturbate like a pro, to give yourself some pointers. Don't freak out if it doesn't work for you – solo sex isn't for everyone.
Another good way to learn more about vulvas, vaginas and clitorises, is by putting a mirror between your legs and having a look for yourself. People's vulvas vary in appearance (so don't be shocked if your partner's doesn't look much like yours at all) but delve a little deeper and you'll find the important bits are generally in a similar area.
Embrace Nipple Play
Some people don't like having their breasts touched at all. If that's you or your partner, that's cool. But if breast and nipple play is on the agenda then, as a general guide, start gentle – some people's boobs are more sensitive than others. Cup them delicately, trace them lightly with your fingers, kiss them softly... Try not to grab. If all is going well, then try licking their nipples, using circular movements interspersed with sucking (not too hard).
Use Accessories
Remember it is still possible to catch STIs from vulva-on-vulva sex. This type of sex can transfer bacterial vaginosis, oral herpes, HPV and, more rarely, trichomoniasis and hepatitis.
For safer oral sex, little squares of latex called dental dams can be placed over your genitals. Handy hint: a slit open condom works just as well. For responsible fingering, grab yourself some latex gloves. You can get some awesome flavoured dental dams which taste great while keeping you protected.
Other kit? Well that's for discussion between the two of you. Personally I'd advise keeping this for later – things will be nerve wracking enough as it is if you've never slept with a woman or vulva-having partner before.
Sex Tips – Fingering
Use Lube
The more slippery your subject, the more satisfying your touch will be. Discard the idea that natural lubrication is enough: vaginal wetness is subject to the body’s fluctuations and can be impacted by hydration, hormones, medication and stress. Instead of leaving it all up to chance, get cracking with the lube.
For best results, opt for a natural, organic and good quality lube like the Sliquid range. Not only are they vegan, they don't contain any allergens.
Start Slow
Start slow and gentle and steadily increase the speed and intensity as you gravitate towards more sensitive terrain. This isn’t just about setting the right pace: it encourages blood to flow to your partner's genitals. This amps up their arousal, making them more receptive to intense stimulation and pulling them closer to the beginnings of orgasm.
Persistent, Rhythmic Stimulation Is Key
Successful fingering comes down to persistent and rhythmic stimulation. If the pace and pressure are working, make sure you keep going – unless your partner asks for something different.
Want a helping hand? Maybe you might want to work in a clitoral vibrator to further arouse their clit. Begin with a low setting and speed to keep this stimulation persistent and consistent. According to how they like it, you might gently brush the vibrator against their clit to tease them, or apply the toy just above it.
Sex Tips – Rimming
Experiment
Experiment with different shapes, movements, pressure and tongue shapes. Some people love a firm lick from a broad, flat tongue, while others need the delicate tickle of the tip of a tongue circling their opening. Everyone is different.
If you and your partner have discussed trying some penetration, you can delve a little deeper. Try poking your tongue into their anus just a little. Really only the first inch or so is uber-sensitive, so it isn’t a case of “the deeper the better” with this sort of play. If you’ve both decided you do want to try this, only very shallow penetration is needed.
Pay attention your partner's body language
For your first time, take it slow, experimenting with a few moves and seeing how your partner reacts. Keep an eye and ear on their body language, breathing and vocal response. If your partner is a quiet one, and you’re not sure how things are going or you like clear communication in the bedroom, you can absolutely check-in with your partner and ask what they like best. Ask if they like it, want try something different or want you to keep doing what you’re doing (when your mouth isn’t full, of course!)
Use your hands
For extra satisfying rimming pleasure, playing with two or more erogenous zones at the same time will really heighten the pleasure. While your lips are busy with the (rim) job at… mouth... why not use your hands to stimulate other areas of their body. Reach up for their nipples, penis, clitoris or any other hot spot you know they like. Can’t reach? Encourage your partner to play while you lick, or bring in a simple sex toy like a bullet vibrator.
