We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
Strap-on sex tips: the best harnesses and dildos to shop now
The best sex toys for pegging, power play and double penetration
Intrigued by strap-on sex and tempted to give it a try? People of all sexual persuasions have been donning dildos to get their kicks as far back as ancient Egypt, so you are not alone. If you’re keen to switch positions in the bedroom, unleash your dominant side, or you simply crave that filled to the back teeth feeling, you have come to the right place.
From double-ended jockstraps to dainty lace pegs, we share expert tips on how to choose the ideal dildo and harness for your pleasure. Keep scrolling for our pick of the best strap-on sex toys for any and every sexual scenario.
The best strap ons to shop now
What is a strap-on?
In its simplest form, a strap-on sex toy is a makeshift penis designed to be worn during sex. “Traditional strap-ons are options that allow one user to penetrate a partner during sex,” explains Glenise Kinard-Moore, founder and creator of thevdom.com.
Fashioned from all manner of materials over the millennia including stone, wood, and even elephant tusk, you’ll be pleased to hear that 21st century sex tech has raised the bar since the discovery of silicone. These days dildos come in every imaginable shape, size, colour, and density, including vibrating, double-ended, and strapless. Harnesses have also had a reboot and you can choose from leather, nylon, lace, and even discreet briefs designed to comfortably hold your shlong in place.
Is strap-on sex for you?
Strap-ons sex toys can work wonders in any number of sexual scenarios, including power play, double penetration, or switching up traditional gender roles. But misconceptions about who uses them could discourage people, says Glenise. “The truth is, strap-ons are used by anyone who has a need or is simply interested,” she explains. “The benefit of using a strap-on is that you are able to add an option to the bedroom no matter how you identify sexually.”
Some heterosexual couples experiment with strap-on sex because they enjoy pegging – when a cisgender woman anally penetrates her cis male partner. Or perhaps you’re in a lesbian or queer relationship and don’t have a penis but still enjoy the feeling of penetration. Or maybe you have a penis but struggle with erectile dysfunction and still want to pleasure your lover. Or you might simply appreciate some additional girth, fancy exploring multiple orifices all at once, or maybe you’re just curious! Whatever gets you off, irrespective of your sexuality, you are all invited to the party.
Strap-on sex tips for beginners
So, now that we’ve firmly established that we are all free to try strap-on sex as and when we please, all you need to get started is a willing partner, a tube of lube, and a dildo (harness optional). And once you find the glove that fits, the possibilities are endless. But to ensure everyone has a safe, consensual and sexy time, there are a few pointers worth considering before you get stuck in.
- Size matters: if you’re wearing the trousers tonight, it’s polite to check in with the owner of the orifice you intend to penetrate before you slip that giant dildo into your shopping cart. First-timers might prefer to start small and slowly graduate to a King Cock. Shop together and make choosing your tool size part of the foreplay.
- Start small: start with an affordable set-up to test the waters and upgrade from there, recommends Adam Breedon, co-founder of sex toy brand Godemiche. “Find out what you like and how you enjoy using it. Then you will have all the knowledge you need to invest in a better harness that’s perfect for you,” he says.
- Practice makes perfect: get to grips with how your strap-on works well in advance, so there are no awkward surprises on the night. “Sometimes harnesses can be fiddly to put on, and you don’t want to interrupt the flow of a good sex session spending ages getting the thing on,” says Adam.
- Set the mood: it may be tempting to focus on your newfangled sex toy, but don’t forget that great sex is really about human interaction. “Take your time to put each other at ease and in the right mood,” says Adam. “Like with all penetrative sex, getting the body ready will make for a more pleasurable experience, so lots of foreplay before you penetrate your partner is important.”
- Lube up: silicone dildos can drag against the skin, so don’t be shy with the lube. “This is doubly important if your are practising anal sex, as that part of the body does not have any natural lubrication, so make sure you have plenty of good lube to hand,” says Adam.
- Keep talking: if you’re wearing the strap-on, remember that you won’t be able to feel your new appendage, so resist the urge to go at it hammer and tongs. Keep the lines of communication open and let your partner dictate the speed and depth.
- Use a safe word: penetrating your lover with a dildo is an extremely intimate experience, and not without risks. Establish a safe word in advance, so you both know when to back up should one of you need a breather.
The best strap-on sex toys to shop now
When purchasing a strap-on, you typically need to consider both the harness and the dildo. Harnesses usually come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear. Dildos are where things get slightly more complicated, with everything from anal to glass, double-ended, beaded, realistic, and vibrating to choose from, in a range of sizes.
Shopping for your harness and dildo separately will lend itself to a more bespoke experience, but beginner kits that include both are a great place to start. Keep scrolling for our pick of the best strap-on kits to suit every scenario.
Watch Next
![Video player poster image preview for Cosmo UK - Love & Sex](https://hips.hearstapps.com/vidthumb/images/cosmoscopes-yt-thumbnail-6634e3af0bef4.jpg?crop=1xw:1xh;center,top&resize=1200:*)
![diagram diagram](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/lgbtq-toys-recommended-66acd2d1d68c6.jpg?crop=0.505xw:1.00xh;0.274xw,0&resize=360:*)
8 LGBTQ+ people recommend their favourite sex toys
![logo logo](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/lesbian-sex-toys-66accf96bc7ce.jpg?crop=0.505xw:1.00xh;0.248xw,0&resize=360:*)
10 of the best lesbian sex toys
![How to make a girl squirt how to make a girl squirt](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/how-to-make-a-girl-squirt-66c4d55196405.jpg?crop=0.670xw:1.00xh;0.167xw,0&resize=360:*)
A step-by-step guide on how to make a woman squirt
![a man and woman standing next to a bouquet of flowers a man and woman standing next to a bouquet of flowers](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/cos060124couplespotting-002-663bdad82f451.png?crop=1.00xw:0.779xh;0,0.0757xh&resize=360:*)
9 Mexico City couples share their love stories