My companions had enough gold rope to moor a carrier (should it not be in dry dock): QUENTIN LETTS watches First Sea Lord launch himself into new world
To glittering Lancaster House, near Buckingham Palace, for the First Sea Lord's sea power conference. The 19th century mansion's gilt-edged halls were decorated with photographs of surging warships, casemates and sailors peering at radar screens.
Outside, a distant military band was parping something martial. Inside, the talk was of 'the fight-tonight requirement' and 'killing the King's enemies when the moment arises'. When not if.
It all felt a bit like the start of one of Anthony Powell's wartime novels in A Dance To The Music Of Time. Ambling up the elegant staircase amid a throng of men, I realised I was the only one not wearing gold braid and aiguillettes.
A chap feels naked at such times. My companions had enough gold rope on their shoulders to moor an aircraft carrier, should it not be in dry dock.
Among the hundreds of attendees I could see only one naval rating. He was in No 1 uniform, taking the snaps. Everyone else seemed to be an arms dealer, politician or admiral. We're not short of them.
Grant Shapps, Defence Secretary, blew in mid-morning to make 'a keynote speech' and spray down the decks with some stuff about how we were in 'a golden age of British shipbuilding'.
![Grant Shapps, Defence Secretary, blew in mid-morning to make 'a keynote speech' and spray down the decks with some stuff about how we were in 'a golden age of British shipbuilding' says Quentin Letts](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/05/14/22/84870213-13418453-image-a-77_1715720498799.jpg)
Grant Shapps, Defence Secretary, blew in mid-morning to make 'a keynote speech' and spray down the decks with some stuff about how we were in 'a golden age of British shipbuilding' says Quentin Letts
![Secretary of State for Defence Grant Shapps (pictured) arrives in Downing Street](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/05/14/22/84870219-13418453-image-a-75_1715720417412.jpg)
Secretary of State for Defence Grant Shapps (pictured) arrives in Downing Street
![Defence Secretary, Grant Shapps leaving Downing Street after a Cabinet Meeting](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/05/14/22/84870215-13418453-Defence_Secretary_Grant_Shapps_leaving_Downing_Street_after_a_Ca-m-1_1715721961856.jpg)
Defence Secretary, Grant Shapps leaving Downing Street after a Cabinet Meeting
The First Sea Lord himself, Admiral Sir Ben Key KCB, CBE, ADC, NFG was on the bridge, too. He also gave a 'keynote speech'. Sir Ben Keynote.
A nephew of the late Tory MP Robert Key, Sir Ben enthused about the Sunak government's increased spending on defence. 'Very welcome, very timely, genuinely a catalytic moment,' he declared. It would allow us to be 'more confident with our concepts of risk'.
One hopes that was not another way of saying 'we'll be able to prang a few more aircraft without worrying too much about the bill'.
Before the keynotes there was calmer water to be covered: a panel discussion about trade routes chaired by a bow-tied Italian prof who had verbal diarrhoea.
There was also a welcome speech by one of the conference organisers, a military analyst called Viktorija Starych-Samuoliene. You wouldn't want to have to tap her name out in Morse code in a hurry.
The accent was part Lithuanian, part American, part Swindon and not at all easy to understand. Heaven knows how the Kremlin decrypts her telephone calls.
The room became hot. An arms manufacturer behind me fell fast asleep. Snore was like a Tilbury tugboat's tooter.
I saw a thick-uniformed French admiral sweating like bacon. Convivial Admiral Lord West (Lab), who never misses these things, was sending up a plume of steam.
![Admiral Sir Ben Key, First Sea Lord and Chief of the Naval Staff, attends a Service of Thanksgiving for Admiral The Lord Boyce at Westminster Abbey on July 13, 2023](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/05/14/22/84871341-13418453-image-a-3_1715722205757.jpg)
Admiral Sir Ben Key, First Sea Lord and Chief of the Naval Staff, attends a Service of Thanksgiving for Admiral The Lord Boyce at Westminster Abbey on July 13, 2023
Lord West asked a question and described himself, as he always does, as 'a simple sailor'. Modern admirals don't look like Westy though. Modern admirals look like merchant bankers. Tobias Ellwood (Con, Bournemouth East) was also in the audience, eager to be noticed. He asked a question about land-attack systems and came up with the phrase 'I think there may be a Scandinavian model'. Wonder what her name was.
A smart woman from the military software company Helsing admitted that 'drones have become the commodity'. You can get drones for little more than a few bob. It could play havoc with defence manufacturers' bottom lines.
Vice-Admiral Andrew Burns, fleet commander of the Royal Navy and quite impressive, said Russia's navy was not to be underestimated, even though some of it is now resting at the bottom of the Black Sea thanks to Ukrainian drones. It was too early to describe the Black Sea as 'a Nato lake'. Sir Ben said enemy threats were 'ever present and ever closer'.
As for Mr Shapps, he ground his jaw and growled about Spearfish torpedoes, Tomahawks, Storm Shadows and NLAW anti-tank rockets. It was 'impossible' we could let Russia win in Ukraine.
For those still with an appetite after such alarming talk, various dinners were on the evening's horizon. The conference's commercial 'partners', alongside arms firms, included the champagne house, Moet Hennessy. Bubbles before battle.