JENNI MURRAY: Madonna’s right, it’s a joy when your kids parent you
Good news for fans of Madonna — and I must admit I am one. She’s back from a frightening health scare. She says she’s lucky to be alive after days in intensive care with a bacterial infection, but she’s up and running and about to begin a tour in North America.
The fiercely independent star appears to have learned a lesson that I guess comes to all of us mothers in the end. You’ve spent years taking care of your children, teaching them independence, but will they return that love and care in your hour of need? And how will you feel when the tables are turned?
A mother of six, four of whom are adopted, Madonna has never been afraid to admit that it’s hard to combine motherhood with stardom. She has given a lot to her children and is proud they all found creativity in their own ways.
She was surprisingly strict with her daughter Lourdes, now 26; moved to Portugal to enable David, 17, to follow his dream to be a footballer; and patiently resolved a custody question with her son Rocco, 22, and his director father Guy Ritchie.
But for every mother, there comes a moment when the roles are reversed, however temporarily. You need help and support and, in the best circumstances, it’s your kids who provide it.
![There for each other: Madonna and her 17-year-old son David Banda](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/02/18/73892533-12366117-image-m-2_1690998036026.jpg)
There for each other: Madonna and her 17-year-old son David Banda
Madonna, who could afford to buy in any support she needs, found it was her children who helped her when she was unwell.
And on Sunday, she posted her appreciation on Instagram: ‘As a mother you can get really caught up in the needs of your children and the seemingly endless giving. But when the chips were down my children really showed up for me. I saw a side to them I had never seen before. It made all the difference.’
I know exactly what she means. None of us wants to feel we’ve become a burden to our children, and we continue to try to help them whenever we can, especially in tough times. But knowing they are there is the most comforting feeling I’ve ever experienced.
Sometimes it’s just little things. They find the mirror that hangs above the toilet has been hung rather precariously by me and don’t want it to come crashing down on my head. They take it down, find the tools that rarely see the light of day and hang it safely. I hadn’t asked for help. They just saw the problem and fixed it.
Another recent example was the outdoor light by the back door, which had ceased to illuminate the garden some weeks ago.
‘Don’t worry,’ I said when they saw it wasn’t working. ‘I’ve got some lightbulbs for it. I’ll fix it.’
‘No, you won’t,’ said Ed. ‘You can’t reach it without standing on a chair. I’ll sort it.’
Being much taller than me, he didn’t need to stand on anything. What’s more, he found the lamp itself needed attention. He took it down and re-screwed it safely to the wall. ‘Let there be light,’ he said, and there was light.
![Madonna with her six children, Lourdes Leon, Rocco Ritchie, David Banda, Mercy James and twins Estere (left) and Stelle](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/02/18/73892529-12366117-image-a-6_1690998172562.jpg)
Madonna with her six children, Lourdes Leon, Rocco Ritchie, David Banda, Mercy James and twins Estere (left) and Stelle
![Madonna and Lourdes Leon attend the Tom Ford fashion show during September 2022 New York Fashion Week](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/02/18/73892535-12366117-image-m-7_1690998175007.jpg)
Madonna and Lourdes Leon attend the Tom Ford fashion show during September 2022 New York Fashion Week
But there have also been more serious, health-related dramas when I felt the strength of their unconditional support.
Just over ten years ago, on a cold December day I was returning from work when I underestimated the width of the icy doorstep, slipped and landed front-first in the garden. Excruciating pain in my left arm meant I couldn’t get up. My handbag had flown across the garden, so I had no mobile phone. I’d have frozen to death had it not been for a neighbour responding to my call for ‘Help!’
I called Charlie, who lives near by. He arrived in super-quick time and drove me to hospital as slowly as possible to avoid any bumps in the road that made me cry out in pain. He waited patiently for hours as we went through casualty, finally giving oodles of sympathy as a broken humerus was diagnosed.
It would need surgery, probably the next day. In a sling, I was driven home every bit as carefully as before, with a promise that he’d be there to help and would call his brother, who was working in Manchester at the time. Dad was working abroad for a short period and wouldn’t be available.
![Jenni (pictured) says: 'Good news for fans of Madonna — and I must admit I am one. She’s back from a frightening health scare'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/02/18/73892531-12366117-image-m-10_1690998215808.jpg)
Jenni (pictured) says: 'Good news for fans of Madonna — and I must admit I am one. She’s back from a frightening health scare'
Ed planned to leave Manchester to be there for the day after the surgery. Charlie took me to hospital for the op, having spent the previous night and morning helping me undress, shower and dress. It was a bit embarrassing for us both at first, but I was incapable of doing anything. The pain was so great and the arm so useless. We sort of got used to it, Charlie saying, ‘For goodness sake, you’re my mum. I’ve seen you naked before.’
He and his brother were there when I came round from the anaesthetic and together they cared for me for days. They were both in their 20s and it was the first time I realised I could depend on them completely. There have been many occasions since.
I hope every mother is as lucky as I have been to find her children will be there for her. As Madonna said, ‘Love from family and friends is the best medicine.’ I couldn’t agree with her more.
For goodness sake, Wills, man up and wear a kilt!
I can fully understand why a little boy growing up in the Eighties and Nineties might have hated having to wear a kilt.
Imagine the teasing the much-photographed Prince William must have endured from friends accusing him of going around in a skirt. But not to have worn one since childhood, despite his Scottish connections?
William, you’re a grown man; you should wear one. Your father is never more handsome and manly than when sporting Balmoral tartan. Follow in his footsteps!
![The Shadow Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson (pictured) faced criticism for wearing costly designer clothes in a magazine photoshoot](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/02/18/73892527-12366117-The_Shadow_Education_Secretary_Bridget_Phillipson_pictured_faced-a-24_1690998650670.jpg)
The Shadow Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson (pictured) faced criticism for wearing costly designer clothes in a magazine photoshoot
Good on Bridget for her clothes
The Shadow Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson faced criticism for wearing costly designer clothes in a magazine photoshoot.
Why shouldn’t she wear good clothes now she has pulled herself up by her bootstraps and become a successful woman who likes to look good?
Like me, she was raised in a northern working-class family without much money, but I’m sure her mother always made sure she was well turned out — nicely brushed hair, plaits, decent clothes, proper shoes.
Our mothers taught us an important lesson for life: your appearance matters.
Goldendoodles the best dog? As if...
Frieda, Madge and Minnie, my three Chihuahuas, are deeply insulted at the news, from the Pets4Homes rehoming website, that the nation’s most popular dog is the Goldendoodle.
‘For goodness sake,’ they say, ‘it’s a cross between a golden retriever and a poodle. That can’t be compared with the purity of our ancestry.
‘And who gets the most oohs, aahs and “how gorgeous” in the park? We do. No contest.’
Bad news for my sons. A study shows that graduates whose parents don’t have degrees earn more than their peers with a family history of going to university.
And I thought they would be proud of us graduate parents and benefit from our insistence on hard work. Sorry, kids!
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