Following the TikTok 'trad wife' trend triggered my mental breakdown at just 27... while pregnant with my third child
It's the controversial TikTok trend that sees young women take on a traditional persona that harks back to the 1950s.
But one woman who was once at the heart of the 'trad wife' craze — in which young women showcase their conservative, domestic lives — has lifted the lid on its toxic underpinnings.
Brianna Bell, a 35 year-old mother of three, says being a 'trad wife' led to a severe mental breakdown that saw her make calls to a suicide hotline and develop extreme agoraphobia.
In 2016, while pregnant with her third child, the stay-at-home mum said she was overcome with feelings that she 'couldn't go on', as a result of her 'conservative evangelical' lifestyle.
35-year-old Brianna Bell was initially happy to be a stay-at-home mum to two healthy girls
The now mother-of-three from Ontario Canada , believed being a devoted wife to her husband Daniel, 35, and dedicating her life to homemaking was her calling
So-called 'trad wives' (trad short for traditional) rake in millions of views on videos offering an insight into their daily lives.
Most clips show them dressed in glamorous gowns, cooking convoluted meals requested by their husbands while balancing babies on their hip.
For almost a decade, the mother of-three from Ontario Canada, dedicated her life to being a homemaker and a devoted wife to her husband Daniel, 35.
She often shared her views on her blog, This Rookie Wife, including an article on 'why she doesn't believe in birth control'.
Mrs Bell, who followed Christian fundamentalism from 2011 to 2016, read books like The Lifegiving Home by mother-daughter duo Sally and Sarah Clarkson — two 'godly' women she followed and admired for their devotion to home making.
She believed she should be a stay-at-home mum, that birth control was a sin, her husband was the head of the house and she was a meek submissive wife.
She told MailOnline: 'In the conservative evangelical tradition I was a part of most people believe the man is the head of the household and the husband and wife have “complementary” but different roles — usually this means the wife stays home and takes care of the home and kids .'
But in 2016, when pregnant with her third child, she felt a constant overwhelming 'dissatisfaction' with her life and she noticed a downward spiral in her mental health.
'I didn't understand how severe my mental health challenges were,' she said. 'And I didn't have the resources or support network around me.
'There were times when I would attempt to reach out to people in the church and felt brushed aside or ignored.'
Tradwives, or traditional wives, are typically stay-at-home mothers — they cook, clean, keep their home pretty and focus on raising their children
But looking back on her old life, Mrs Bell now sees the movement as 'toxic' and is relived she left those values behind her before 'indoctrinating' her children
It all came to a head one evening. She found herself flooded with overwhelming thoughts, a racing heart and feelings of panic.
'I locked myself in my bedroom and ripped the closet doors off of the hinges. I fell into a heap, sobbing and called a suicide hotline. I didn’t think I could go on,' she recalls.
Eventually, she sought help from a doctor, and was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, panic disorder and agoraphobia.
She blames her buried childhood trauma, adolescent sexual abuse, and following an extreme form of Christian evangelicalism from the age of 19.
Mrs Bell confessed her trauma led her towards the perceived safety of a life with rules, where men led and women were protected.
But now she recognises that playing the role of a sexually subservient wife was damaging.
The main message behind the trad wife movement is women should be submissive to their husbands, work is not for women and the most fulfilling role a woman can have is inside her home, Mrs Bell explained in Today's Parent.
Women such as @gwenthemilkmaid (pictured) and @esteecwilliams, who proudly describe themselves as traditional wives, have millions of likes on TikTok
Tradwives on TikTok share videos of cooking, gardening and guides on how to dress feminine and how to be a good homemaker
Nara Smith, who has more than 9million followers on TikTok, shares videos of her cooking while wearing glamourous dresses and pristine make up. All narrated with a soft and calm voice, her videos show her making jelly sweets, chicken nuggets, lavender soap and even coca cola
The subculture gained popularity on TikTok in 2020 during the pandemic.
Women such as @gwenthemilkmaid and @esteecwilliams, who proudly describe themselves as traditional wives, have millions of likes on their TikTok videos showcasing their conservative lives.
Nara Smith, who has more than 9million followers on TikTok, shares videos of her cooking while wearing glamourous dresses and pristine make up.
All narrated with a soft and calm voice, her videos show her making jelly sweets, lavender soap and even Coca Cola from scratch.
But Mrs Bell warns this tradwife trend although 'glossy' is a 'a step back for women’s rights'.
She said: 'The wife cannot choose anything else for herself and she does not have agency over her own life.
'While trad wife content shows glossy, happy, curated content it doesn’t show the darker side of what being in a traditional marriage looks like.'
Her children were too young to remember her former tradwife values and her husband, who she admits never really believed in the ultra-conservative movement in the first place, is now stay at home parent for most of the year
Mrs Bell had previously convinced herself that writing was just a hobby, or something she did part-time while her children were sleeping in.
Now she is an investitive journalist covering evangelicalism and secretive underground religious sects.
She said: 'Journalism has set me on the path to finding empowerment when I started my career many years ago.
'I started out as a local journalist and I've become an internationally published freelance journalist over the last decade.
'The people I meet, the stories I hear, have broadened my perspective, increased by empathy, and deepened my understanding of the world around me.'
Her children were too young to remember her former tradwife values and her husband, who she admits never really believed in the ultra-conservative movement in the first place, is now a stay at home parent for most of the year.
