Mel B says a 'part of her will always stay damaged' as she discusses why she hid her abusive relationship for so long
Mel B has said a part of her 'is always going to stay damaged' following the breakdown of her abusive marriage to ex husband Stephen Belafonte.
Speaking to Cosmopolitan about her new autobiography Brutally Honest, the Spice Girl, 43, revealed how her 10-year-marriage to the film executive triggered her post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety.
She shared: 'I suffer from PTSD, I suffer from a little bit of anxiety, I still have flashbacks.
![Candid: Mel B has said a part of her 'is always going to stay damaged' following the breakdown of her abusive marriage to ex husband Stephen Belafonte](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7143766-0-image-m-96_1544199896137.jpg)
Candid: Mel B has said a part of her 'is always going to stay damaged' following the breakdown of her abusive marriage to ex husband Stephen Belafonte
'It's almost like a part of me is always going to stay damaged and this is how I can heal it, by talking about it and forgiving myself and remembering that it wasn’t my fault.'
Mel, who is a patron of Women's Aid, said that she found working a 'safe haven' from the reality she faced at home everyday and became accustomed to putting up a front.
She added: 'I became very good at living a lie. It was one thing at work, but a totally different story at home. My work was my saviour.
'When I was working… he was never around me, so that was like a safe haven for me. You end up putting on a brave face and hoping that nobody finds out [what’s going on at home], because it’s just too much.
![Honest: Speaking to Cosmopolitan about her new autobiography Brutally Honest, the Spice Girl, 43, revealed how her 10-year-marriage to the film executive triggered her post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7143764-0-image-a-97_1544199992011.jpg)
Honest: Speaking to Cosmopolitan about her new autobiography Brutally Honest, the Spice Girl, 43, revealed how her 10-year-marriage to the film executive triggered her post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety
Adding: 'If you have to admit it to anybody else, that means you have to admit what’s going on to yourself, which is another horrendous, traumatic thing to do as an abused person.'
Mel's new autobiography, Brutally Honest, talks about abuse and her suicide attempt, and previously said she has no regrets about anything in the book, including her revelations about her ex - who she divorced in 2017.
Late last month, Mel told her fellow Spice Girl Emma Bunton that she wrote her book because she doesn't want her three daughters to end up in similar situations to her.
![Damage: She said: 'It's almost like a part of me is always going to stay damaged and this is how I can heal it, by talking about it and forgiving myself and remembering that it wasn¿t my fault'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7143930-0-image-a-98_1544200017030.jpg)
Damage: She said: 'It's almost like a part of me is always going to stay damaged and this is how I can heal it, by talking about it and forgiving myself and remembering that it wasn’t my fault'
![Reality: Mel, who is a patron of Women's Aid, said that she found working a 'safe haven' from the abuse and helped her escape the reality she faced daily](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7143788-0-image-a-101_1544200073475.jpg)
Reality: Mel, who is a patron of Women's Aid, said that she found working a 'safe haven' from the abuse and helped her escape the reality she faced daily
Appearing on 42-year-old Emma's Heart FM radio show, Mel said: 'There’s quite a bit that I left out. My main point to get across was that being in an abusive relationship is not OK.'
Mel is mother to Phoenix, 19, from her marriage to dancer Jimmy Gulzar, Angel, 11, from her romance with Eddie Murphy. And Madison, six, is from her marriage to Belafonte.
Emma said: 'It's amazing. I cried through the whole thing by the way. And then Mummy Bunton read a bit yesterday and cried, I was like "Oh my goodness" – it’s just heart breaking.'
![Family: Mel is mother to Phoenix, 19, from her marriage to dancer Jimmy Gulzar, Angel, 11, from her romance with Eddie Murphy. And Madison, six, is from her marriage to Belafonte](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7144088-6472243-image-m-105_1544200282656.jpg)
Family: Mel is mother to Phoenix, 19, from her marriage to dancer Jimmy Gulzar, Angel, 11, from her romance with Eddie Murphy. And Madison, six, is from her marriage to Belafonte
She added: 'If you are in a relationship where you are being humiliated or made to feel less than you are, it is a crime.
'I became really good at lying and saying my marriage was amazing when it's wasn't.'
Read the full interview in on Cosmopolitan.com/UK. Women's Aid and Refuge's 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247
!['Heartbreaking': Emma said: 'It¿s amazing. I cried through the whole thing by the way. And then Mummy Bunton read a bit yesterday and cried, I was like ¿Oh my goodness¿ ¿ it¿s just heart breaking'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/07/16/7144140-6472243-image-a-108_1544200342179.jpg)
'Heartbreaking': Emma said: 'It’s amazing. I cried through the whole thing by the way. And then Mummy Bunton read a bit yesterday and cried, I was like “Oh my goodness” – it’s just heart breaking'
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