IN PATAGONIA A JOURNEY OF PICNICS AND FIRST DESCENTS ACROSS SOUTHERN CHILE.

We have been hiking all day. We will keep hiking all day tomorrow and probably most of the next. My back hurts. My legs hurt. Everything hurts. I’ve lost track of how many falls I had today. Every time I crash, I end up stuck in my carrying system, legs in the air, unable to get back up. We call this the “awkward turtle.” We usually joke about it, but today I don’t have the strength to find it funny. I have cried a few times already. Sometimes from pain. Sometimes from anger. We don’t even know if the river goes. We might have to hike our loaded boats right back down.

Ben knows that already. This is his third attempt to run the Ano Nuevo; He, Pedro Oliveira, and Chris Korbulic tried and turned around in both 2015 and 2018. It blows my mind to see how committed he is to this river. If I already knew how long and painful the hike was, I am not sure I would be willing to put myself out there again. But we are talking about Ben Stookesberry. There is a reason why he is a living legend. He has done more hardcore whitewater expeditions than anyone else I know. A three-day hike is pretty standard for him. Same for Boomer. I don’t think anything can stop him: not the gnarliest rapids, not the frigid arctic weather, not even walrus or polar bears attacks. But what am I doing here? It only took a few tantalizing satellite images and the promise of a great adventure for me to come. I knew what I was getting into, and the suffering is part of it. But now I am just counting steps to keep moving forward. Reach 1000. Drink water. Keep going. Are we crazy? Do we like pain? Are we trying to prove something? I don’t think so, but I don’t know anymore. I am exhausted, and my thoughts are not making much sense.

I just follow the two colorful dots ahead where Ben and Boomer lead the way with their bright plastic kayaks. I can’t quite keep