Darcey Steinke: How to Be in a Body

In the first chapter of author and professor Darcey Steinke’s latest work—the meditation on menopause Flash Count Diary—she states, “Like the Hulk, I don’t have symptoms or a condition; I am in the midst of a rupture, a metamorphosis, an all-encompassing and violent change.” We experience this change with Steinke, as she details her hot flashes and explores the psychological and spiritual effects they have on her. “With every flash, my psyche is pushed to grasp what it does not want to let itself know: that it is not immortal. This is terrifying. It’s also a rare opportunity, if faced directly, to come to terms with the limitations of the self.” And face it directly she does. Steinke examines what she refers to as the “history” of her body—as a daughter, a mother, a lover—as well as her “fraying” femininity and her time spent researching the few other mammals who go through menopause, most notably female killer whales.

What results is a sharply nuanced memoir, and a manifesto on the rarely-written-about third stage of a woman’s life. In Steinke’s exploration of her own often-lonely transition, she finds a sense of hopefulness in the strength of the post-menopausal killer whales who lead their pod societies, as well as in the work of the trans community. She traces the shame and distress many women feel when confronted with their aging bodies back to the patriarchal structures that treat this transition as inherently negative.

Steinke welcomed me into her Brooklyn home on a cold, early-winter evening. Jazz was playing softly; candles flickered on the shelves of her floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Over mugs of tea, we discussed writing about the female body, the positive changes menopause has brought to her life, working for the matriarchy, and her hopes for how future generations may more positively experience their journey through menopause.

—Elizabeth Lothian for Guernica

Guernica: You start Flash Count Diary very centered on the body, with a searing description of the physicality of a hot flash. What was the process like, finding the language to express those physical sensations?

Darcey Steinke: Well, I’ve always written about the body—that’s the female body—and when I teach, I teach “Stay on the body.” I feel like that’s a good way to get going, but then as you get to